


Child's play

by arkytiorforemancampbell, The_Dangerous_One



Series: The Mary Sue Adventures [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Genre: Gen, Roleplay, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkytiorforemancampbell/pseuds/arkytiorforemancampbell, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dangerous_One/pseuds/The_Dangerous_One
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows that Time Lords are mature, responsible people. So if a clueless time tot was somehow sent on a mysterious mission by some shady figures, there is no reason why she should expect to find herself surrounded by total nutjobs.<br/>Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breaking in

The relative calm of the Stranger's control room was broken by a loud cracking sound and a flash of light. Something fell heavily on the floor. It was a shortish girl, with a blue t-shirt and an oddly designed time ring around her wrist, lying face down...

 

”THE FUCK!?” The Stranger  exclaimed, tumbling out of the wheely office chair he had been snoozing in. He grabbed a wrench from under the console  and slowly edged towards the prone figure. He gently nudged the figure with his foot.

”Um…?” he inquired his hand tightening around the wrench in case they proved themselves troublesome.

 

Milly groaned, she curled up in a ball on the floor, then dared to turn her head to give a peek to the owner of the foot that was poking her.

"Oh… hi" she said, as her eyes focused on the known face of the Stranger. Her lips started to curl up in a smile, then stopped abruptly. That little colour that was coming back to her face flushed away completely, replaced by an horrified look.

"No! Where is it? Not again! The hive mind… It’s gone! Where are you? Where’s everything?!" she cried out, simultaneously reaching out to the nearest minds (the Stranger and his TARDIS) with desperate violence, as she sprang to her feet and grabbed the Stranger’s face, digging her nails in his skin.

The Stranger dropped the wrench at the mental assault and tried to push Milly away.

”GET OFF ME! CALM DOWN! IT’S….” He locked eyes with her and steadied his voice as the sensation hit him, ”Just breathe. It’s ok.” He let her go and stepped back just out of arms reach keeping his mental shields, such as they were, raised.

”what the hell are you doing here?” He asked calmly eyeing the time ring.

Milly looked at her hands like she didn’t recognize them, then covered her face and remained still for almost a minute. Then she drew a deep breath and looked up at the Stranger.

"I… sorry. I think i’m ok now."

She shivered visibly, and added ”sort of”.

As the other one was still looking at her inquisitively, she tried her best to focus on an answer.

"They sent me here. Said that teaching me to drive a TT capsule was a lost cause and shipped me like a package instead. Is it always this silent for you, or it’s just me for being out of my time? I would go insane if it wasn’t for you and your TARDIS… WOAH!!!" - she exclaimed, noticing her environment for the first time - "this thing is ANCIENT!".

She trotted to the console, not very stable on her feet. “It’s a veritable lemon! How comes it has not crumbled to dust yet?” - she swayed heavily and grabbed the console just in time not to fall to the floor. “Wops. Definitely not ok. Bit travelsick, I think. Time-sense too sharp for my own good, long story, and those things are hell” - she frowned at her time ring.

"Also" she added after a while "I think they did something to my head".

“…They just…” Stranger  approached her cautiously, “Yeah Its quiet but not normally this quiet. Why did they send you?” He asked keeping his distance and moving to the other side of the brass console.

When she stumbled he ran to help instinctively and steadied her. “No definitely not ok are you..” he muttered

“They did something to your head?”  He sounded horrified, ”Urgh…look I hate doing this but things might be easier if we link minds…although given how you got here I think we should go to the medical bay first.” He nodded to a door at the back of the console room, ”You need a hand or are you ok?”

"Oh no need, I just… it looks worse than it is, really, I…" - she was forced to stop by a fit of the giggles. She gestured to the Stranger to wait and give her time, hitting his face with the open hand when she miscalculated his distance. "Uh, sorry." She forced herself to stay serious. "Yeah they did, but nothing bad. It’s ok." - she felt her smile trying to become laughter again and fought it back - "I think I could even remember what. It just… it feels like I can’t be bothered to try."

 

The Stranger rubbed his cheek where she had struck him. He glared at her. She could stand on her own. That was fine and good but clearly what ever had been done to her head was nothing to ignore.

”If it wants you to ignore it chances are it’s up to no good.” he reasoned. He started pacing the control room circling the console trying to establish a  connection to the hivemind when it struck him. But no surely not… he turned slowly to Milly ”What if what ever they did to your head is what’s blocking the hivemind for us? Didn’t that occur to you?” He approached her slowly ”I won’t pry where I’m not welcome but I’d like to know.” he stopped arms length away and looked her in the eye, ”May I?” He raised his hands slowly.

"Yeah. No. Do you know your face is full of tiny little scratches?" She swallowed hard, holding back another fit of giggles. "Yes it’s ok with me. I see no reason you shouldn’t, you feel ok to me. And if there was a reason not to, I will probably remember it along with the rest."

”…No thank you for telling me.” The Stranger sighed and cracked his knuckles, ”Its been a while since I’ve done this so… ” He gently placed his hands on either side of Milly’s head, ”Contact.”

He was never ready for the rush. No matter who it always felt the same a burning wave of emotions and thoughts that completely over powered him. His mind fought like a swimmer against the current through her mind to a place from which there seemed to be nothing. A memory block. But as for what it was blocking he couldn’t tell. Probably whatever had been done to her. he took a breath before attempting to by pass it.

Cautiously he lifted the mental block like one opens a box marked ”Dangerous animal inside.” The memory was a dark one. He was looking through her eyes into a dark room a laboratory back on Gallifrey she was studying a plant when she’d been grabbed on the shoulder and whirled around to face… That part of the memory was gone and he couldn’t see who it was nor could he gleam why they had done what they had to her. They had altered her mind so it registered with the matrix differently. Effectively muting the hivemind for her.

There was something else there in the memory. Like a shark in the water just on the periphery. Hastily he withdrew. Perhaps too hastily. He jerked his hands away like he’d been electrocuted. That face…it was seared into his mind like a camera flash.

He fell back and landed hard on the floor. He shook his head and looked to Milly, ”Fucking hell… why’d they…” he scrambled to his feet and tried to steady himself as the inevitable headache set in. He groaned, ”I think…the med bay can wait. we should head by the bar.” He looked back to her ”You good?” he asked.

She gave him a puzzled look, then she smiled. It was sane smile this time. The contact had sobered her up, but there was no reason to stay sober much longer. Also, now that the block was gone, she wanted to sit down on a drink and talk about it. “Yes. Yes I think we should.”

Stranger blinked and motioned her to follow, ”It’s down this way.” He set off for a door to the left of the room. The door sank with a hiss into the floor and the two ventured further into the ship,

”Sorry about the mess.” Stranger muttered stepping over, around and sometimes under some of the various items strewn through the corridor, ”Been meaning to…to clear up for a while.” His head was throbbing and that face was still swimming in front of his eyes.

He almost walked past the door to the bar room and would have done had it not opened for him. It was a fair sized room, styled after a place in France he was fond of. The bar ran under a mirror  at the far end of the room and instead of normal stools he had installed large leather armchairs one didn’t so much as sit in but sink in. He went behind the bar and poured himself a quart of ol’ janx spirit.

”Hey…I never asked what do you drink? You’ve not been…off Gallifrey before so I’m guessing you won’t have had anything not processed half to hell.” he motioned to one of the chairs, ”Sit. Talk. We have all the time in the universe.”

She looked around in wonder. The place could hardly have been more of a mess, still it looked beautiful. The bottom layer was gallifreyan, but layers and layers of stuff had piled up, so that the final combination felt deliciously exotic. There were things she could recognize, and she could even remember where in the universe some of them probably came from, but seeing them in real life felt completely different. The whole place felt welcoming and slightly exciting.

"I don’t think I’ve ever tried any alien beverage. I know janx spirit though. The Hitchiker’s Guide has a lot to say about it. It may be exactly what we need right now, though I’m afraid I would end up making a fool of myself. Again."

She sank in the nearest armchair, intrigued by the absence of any response from the non-sentient piece of furniture. It kinda felt like not sitting down at all.

"I’m sorry about your face. Twice."

 

The Stranger shrugged while pouring her the drink, ”You aren’t the first and I’m sure you won’t be the last.” He handed her the drink, finished his own and quickly poured himself another, ”So. Tell me.” He said resting his elbows on the bar, ”So… They blocked you from the matrix? Any idea why they’d do that?” He asked raising an eyebrow, ”and the time ring. they just gave that to you did they?” He swilled the drink and smiled knowingly.

"Oh yes I do. Well.." she stopped to grab the drink. "Thanks. Anyway, I think I do. Now at least I can remember what they told me. It shouldn’t have worked like that, though.

You see” - she stopped to smell her drink, grimaced a bit, then gave it a suspicious little sip and grimaced more. “The Old One says I’m a “probe”. My assignment is to learn so I can bring back new inputs to the Matrix. He says that our culture is suffocating, and that they’re “opening windows to let fresher air in”. The windows are us, me and the others the Old One and his …co-conspirators are using the same way.”

She drank again, with more conviction.

"Anyway, the original plan was to send me out on a TARDIS, one of those modern models "even an idiot could pilot blindfolded". Turns out I’m just too bad, so they resorted to plan B. Plan B being, well, you."

The rest of the glass went down, and Milly realized a bit too late it would have been better to drink it slower.

"So the Old One said one of his comrades would come to me and "prepare me" for the mission. I thought nothing of it, I wasn’t even scared because I trusted him. Then this scary man came in the cerulean lab and took me to his lab and when we got there…”

Milly looked at the empty glass regretting there wasn’t any spirit left, then lifted it towards the Stranger with an apologetic smile.

"He wired me to this machine of him. No idea what it was. Even at that point I wasn’t that much afraid, though that man… I did not trust him as much. But I didn’t try to run either. And then he switched the thing on."

She shivered.

"It was bad. I can’t tell… I couldn’t say… just… it was really, really bad. I thought I died, but then I was back in the lab, alive, and look, I’m still me. By then I was finally terrified. I asked what was happening. The new man said they had disconnected me from the matrix for mere seconds, so they could "tweak" the way my experiences would have registered in the Matrix after I came back, and also prevent me from being conspicuous once I connected with the hive in any other point of Gallifrey’s timeline.

Well, something obviously went very wrong about this last point. I wasn’t supposed to be isolated, nor were you. Either this, or they lied to me altogether. But then the memory block wouldn’t make sense. It was the Old One that set it up, right before sending me here with this thing” -she waves her time ring ” and he explained what he was about to do and even asked my permission. You must have noticed it was very easy to break. That’s because it wasn’t meant to last. It was only put there to make you curious so you would… well, long story short, it was a trap and you fell into it head first. It doesn’t feel like a bad thing, though. It sure helped me settle. Maybe that was its purpose. Are you… are you pissed?”

Stranger froze and the smile slipped from his face as she spoke.

”…A trap?” He asked stiffly, staring at her over the rim of his glass. He stood up and finished his second drink. He went to pour a third but thought better of it. He filled the glass Milly offered, ”…How trapped am I?” His hand shook as he poured spilling some onto the wood.

Stupid old man. This is why you don’t get involved with people from home it’ll bring them looking. he thought to himself as he poured. When he finished he corked the bottle and bent down to stow it away under the bar.   He kept a small pistol hidden there  on top of a cask of Blood wine. He took it and stowed it in his boot. Just in case.

He straightened up and brushed himself down, ”I wouldn’t say I’m pissed. More annoyed I didn’t see it sooner.” he vaulted the bar and sat in a seat next to Milly ,”So why then, are they interested in trapping me?” He inquired, ”I’ve been running for so long I thought they must have forgotten about me by now.”

Milly stared at her drinking buddy, impressed by the sudden change in his attitude. The friendly (if cautious) happy-go-lucky bloke had disappeared, replaced in a matter of seconds by something that resembled closely one of the big predator felines that roamed in the wild territories. As the liquor began to give her a burning feeling in her stomach, she retreated a bit into the embrace of the armchair.

"I… no, I don’t think… I didn’t mean to scare you. Also I don’t believe it was anything… personal. I think they just meant to have me mind meld with the first… local I stumbled upon. So I could connect to the hive of your time and do… well, whatever they wanted me to. I don’t really understand the science behind it to be honest. Only for some reason it didn’t work. I wonder why. It’s not like you’re deliberately keeping up some kind of barrier between you and your homeland, is it?"

The Stranger ran a finger down the empty glass, ”No” he softly, ”Not at all.” He slid the glass away down the bar. He was thoughtful for a moment as he watched Milly drink.

“I’m not taking you back. let’s just throw that out there right now..” He settled into the arm chair and looked up to the ceiling,

”I think that may be what they want so let’s not give ‘em that…” He looked back to Milly, ” and to be completely honest I don’t trust you so you can’t stay here.” he shrugged ”Sorry someone’s been meddling with your head and I don’t know if I trust their motives…can I see that time ring you have?” He asked

"This? Sure!" She got the ring off her wrist and eagerly passed it to the Stranger. "Here it is. It’s a recent model, though I doubt the travel could be any bumpier. Those little nicks and notches should be the presets. They gave me a few more destinations. In case you threw me out, i suppose. I have no idea where i would end, though."

She dipped a finger into her glass and sucked it thoughtfully. “I would go, if you wanted me to, but to be frank right now I’d rather not go alone.” She put the glass down on the arm of the chair, checking is balance twice before she dared to let it go. “Still, you have your reasons. I mean, the Old One feels honest enough, but the other one… i don’t know. He may have his own agenda for what I know. I say this is not personal, but what if it is about you after all? I may even be a time bomb, set to flip out and stab you in the back as soon as I hear the words “dried magentas…”. She bit her lip: “It would be funny in a way. You see… Prydonians, backstabbing… the old classic.”

 

The Stranger studied the ring for a while as he listened to Milly. It was warm from where she had been wearing it and he couldn’t really tell where it would have sent her had he thrown her out. he shrugged and pocketed it hoping it wouldn’t vanish like the older models used to do.

”No. I don’t think it’d be funny.” He murmured and rested his head on his shoulder, ” But…all things considered I doubt they’d want to bring me in now after so long…” he sighed and got to his feet, ”For now I think I’ll avoid saying dr…well that .” He motioned for her to follow, ”To be honest I have no idea what to do with you.” He called over his shoulder, ”You ever been to earth? It’s kinda a hideaway for renegades. Perhaps there’s someone there who can take you on.”

Milly’s face lit up like a lamp with a big smile. “Do you mean Almund? Oh please tell me you mean Almund! Although… do you intend to keep the ring when you dump me there? After all we’re not sure those people back on Gallifrey were up to no good and I… well… once i feel a little more confident, i may want to go on with that mission thing. Whatever that means. Also, I’m damn curious about those “presets”…”

Stranger pulled the ring from his pocket, tossed it in the air, caught it and studied it, fascinated by the way the dimpled metal reflect the light, ”I’m more interested to see what it’d get on the black market to be honest.” He bit his lip as his conscience battled with the lightness of his wallet.  He sighed and offered the ring back.

”I can just have the TARDIS grow another jacuzzi.” he mumbled not looking at Milly, ”I can take you to Almund..I wasn’t thinking Almund but I think this is more their game than mine.” He motioned for her to follow and stalked out of the bar heading back to the console room.

”Haven’t been to America…ooh, for a long, long time.” He muttered as he walked, ”Think I’m still banned in Florida.” he added with a smile.

Milly took the ring with relief. For a moment she had feared the Stranger would have kept it, killing on the start all hopes of further adventures. She realized that very moment how much eager she was to go looking for more trouble, and the thought surprised her. She knew she ought to be scared and tired and everything - and she was, she really was - but besides that part of her that wanted to sleep for a week, possibly in her own dorm room back home, there was another instance of Milly that just wanted to click one of those presets and disappear into the unknown right now.

"I’v heard about America. They control overpopulation by letting their loomlings bring deadly weapons to school and only giving medical care to the richest citizens. A bit barbaric, but badass. Are we going together? Should we warn Almund of our arrival or is it going to be a surprise?"

She trotted a bit faster to keep his pace with her shorter legs, then stopped beside him as they reached their destination.

"I know…" she said, in a more serious tone "I am aware I owe you one for your help. A big one. Look, I don’t know if it may sound a bit chapterist but still, I was thinking…"

She shifted a bit, uneasily, trying to figure out a polite way to say it.

"Well, I thought that, if I ever happen to get my hand on something… of monetary value… uh… would it be ok if I bring it back to you? I mean I’m not saying you need my help, i can see you are getting by very well on your own. Still  I would like to repay for your help, and any trouble I may have caused you."

She smiled: “Would it be ok?”

The Stranger glanced at Milly and shrugged, ”Yeah that could work.” he said simply, ”Any extra time rings hanging around, you let me know.” He opened the door to the console room and bounded to the controls, ”As for Almund, a little surprise can’t hurt can it? I can’t imagine being on exchange to earth can be all that exciting.” He paused with his hand on a  large brass lever he smiled, ”Hold onto something.” He threw the dematerialisation lever and the ancient engines rattled into life, sending them hurtling through the vortex towards Earth.

The TARDIS flew like a leaf caught in a hurricane. The Stranger had to sprint around the console trying his best to keep them flying.

”Right. ” He growled through gritted teeth as steam filled the console room. Beads of sweat ran down his forehead, ”America…2014. Just about th- OOPS! LEFT A BIT!” He twirled the helmic regulator and the ship jarred left, ”Almost materialised in the earths core there. That would have been bad for the paint work.” He grinned at Milly, panting, ”Soon be there…Just a bit more…I swear Archie is normally much better behaved than…” They landed not with a bump. But with a  thunderous crash that reverberated through out the ship like a bell and knocked the two timelords to the ground.

”…I swear she’s normally in a better mood than this.” Stranger groaned climbing to his feet, ”You alright over there?”

Milly wanted to answer, but she couldn’t. She was lying on the floor, her fists clenched, tears coming from her closed eyes, body shaken by spasms, emitting what sounded like the cries of a dying beast. It took her almost a full minute to calm down enough to breathe, so that the horrifying shrieks could finally become a slightlty more dignified hearty laugh.

After another minute or two rolling on the floor holding her belly, she managed to say: “You drive like shit” before another fit of laughter hit her.

 

Outside, Almund was finishing up giving her part of a presentation at the front of the class when she saw a filing cabinet materialize in the back of the room by her desk. It was a Time Lord, that was for sure, but who? Had Lord Borusa found out about her interactions with Millie and The Stranger? A little nervous now, she went back to her seat and waited for whoever was inside to come out. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be in full regalia and cause a scene.

The top draw of the cabinet shot open and a great plume of steam rose out of it followed by two voices laughing raucously. After the laughter had died down the Stranger, grimy and sweaty, clambered out of the cabinet.  He looked around in confusion for a moment before his eyes settled on Almund,

”Ah there you are.” He laughed as he clambered awkwardly from the TARDIS, ” I thought you’d be taller.” He remarked brushing himself down and sauntering up to Almund, ”Also you know Milly right?” He nodded over his shoulder back to the ship.

Half crawling, Milly followed the Stranger through the exit of the smoking TARDIS, still shaken by the odd fit of giggles. As soon as she saw Almund, she tried to jump out to reach her and give her a bear hug. She failed, tripped  and tumbled miserably to the floor.

"OW! Ehm… hi Almund. Nice to meet you. Woah, that’s quite a lot of humans you have here!"

Of course, as soon as the drawer shot open everyone looked towards it, and also Almund, who had gone bright red. One thing about the really older models (apart from their fiesty-ness) was that the translation circuit had to assess the local language first, as a sort of warm-up. As the class had been stunned into silence by the two people climbing out of a file cabinet, it hadn’t had a chance to start, and they were speaking Gallifreyan without realizing it. Great. “Do you know these people?” the teacher asked Almund, very much not amused. “Vaguely. Sorry. Carry on, I’ll be right back.” she replied, standing up, shutting the cabinet drawer, and dragging The Stranger and Millie out the door. “What in the name of Rassilon are you two doing here? I mean, it’s nice to meet you and everything, but I’ve only been here a month or so. I’m stuck for another eleven!” Almund demanded in Gallifreyan, not trusting the old circuit to change it accurately from English.

The Stranger offered a cheery wave to the teacher at the front of the class and received a scowl that probably would have killed a mortal man and allowed himself to be led from the class room.

Stranger raised an eyebrow, ”So this is a school?” he cast a disapproving eye upon the peeling paint work and flickering halogen light bulbs.  He decided to make the shift to Gallifreyan as well lest any human ears be pressed to the door, ” And humanity wonders why its taking so long to get anywhere.” He muttered picking a bit of peeling paint from the wall which he then proceeded to lean on, ”Ok. long sstory short, Milly showed up in my TARDIS with her access to the hivemind cut off, sporting a fancy, shiny timering, upon which are a number of preset destinations, neither of us can read the other locations that have been preset into it.” he gave an exasperated sigh ”We were wondering if you could.” He reached into a pocket on the inside of his coat and produced a small silver hipflask which he took a swig  from.

"I’ll look it over, sure." Almund said, pushing down the hand holding the hip flask so it was harder for security cameras to see. "No alcohol in school, even though you’d want to be smashed to get through some of the classes. They’ll be suspicious enough without that as well." she said, holding out a hand for the ring. "It affects them more strongly, they even tried to outright ban it for a while." Almund smirked, holding back a laugh. "When that utterly failed after a decade, they repealed that particular set of laws."

Milly was just standing there, with a grin as wide as her face, looking around in awe, like she did in the TARDIS’ bar, but more. This was a planet. An actual alien planet. The gravity, the light, even the air was different, not to get started with the architecture. She was so awestruck she couldn’t say a single word.

She took a big gasp of that alien air. It was slighlty richer in oxigen than she was used to and it made her feel a litte weird. It was also filled with strange smells, not all of which pleasant.

Failing to find something clever - or even not completely idiotic - to say, she reverted to her original plan and finally gave Almund that bear hug.

Almund’s eyes widened for a second from the unexpected contact, but she soon hugged Millie back. “It’s good to see you too. Everything takes a little getting used to at first, but you’ll soon get the hang of it.” she said, smiling and glancing up at a clock. “School’s almost over. If you two could hole up in the bathrooms for ten minutes or so you could come over to my place. I’ve rented an apartment.” Almund offered, adding “I might hole up with you. The less questions I have to answer the better.” under her breath.

Stranger sighed, ”Alright we’ll hide in the bathrooms.” He stood up from the wall and glanced around, ”Unless…I don’t suppose there’s a library around here? I think that’d be better wouldn’t you?” he glanced at Milly hoping she’d agree, ”certainly not as smelly at least. We can just pretend we’re seniors and if people start singing and dancing like they did in that documentary I watched we can improvises along right?” He looked at Almund hopefully, ”Sound good to you?”

"It’s not very large, but yeah, it sounds good. Although…" Almund said, giggling softly. "You know what, never mind." she said, deciding not to crush his dreams yet. "They don’t do the singing that often in the library, though… Best not to start anything." she said, leading them down the hall and through an old, wooden door to the library. This part of the building was obviously older than the rest of the school, with worn marble floors and sturdy oak tables here and there in between the bookcases. The room itself was medium-sized, but the librarian (an old, kind-looking woman behind a rather imposing desk that had ‘Ms. Josephine Hall) had tried her best to squeeze as many books as she could onto the softly creaking shelves. "Hello, Almund dear. Do you know what you’re looking for today?" the woman asked with a smile. Almund returned it, saying "I’m showing my friends around the school, ma’am. They’re thinking of transferring as well." as they sat down at one of the back tables. "That’s Mrs. Hall. She’s always been nice to me." she said, switching back to Gallifreyan quietly.

 

((library interior like: http://tinyurl.com/qjx5lqy , http://tinyurl.com/lugol7b , http://tinyurl.com/mvvc62q ))

Milly was still overwhelmed by the strangeness of… well, just about everything. Even having to pull out the chair was exotic, and the smell of decaying vegetable matter and unknown dust was so rich and strange and complex she needed to exert some self control not to stick her tongue out to attempt a chemical analysis.

 

She managed to focus enough to sit down and smile at her friends. She even remembered that (some time in the past, a lot of amazing seconds of amazement ago) Almund had asked her about the time ring. She took it off and gave it to her, a little less eagerly than she had done with the Stranger - maybe she was not completely unable to learn from experience, she thought to herself.

 

"Here it is. The preset thingies are all there. No idea where they point to. Bit curious".

"Hmm… Well, this one probably was set to the inside of his TT Capsule, see how it’s slightly darker than the rest…" Almund said, taking the engraved ring and carefully examining it. After a pause, she continued. "This next one would go to my apartment, I think. This symbol here is part of the galactic coordinates for it. I’m not really sure about the others, though. It’s been ages since I’ve looked up coordinates and I don’t know them off the top of my head."

Stranger moped around the library trying to appear disinterested in what the other two were saying, poking at the books and students trying not to be slightly disappointed when they didn’t burst into song. He pulled a book of the shelf and flipped through it. he snapped it shut when Almund mentioned the ring being set to his TARDIS.

 

”I didn’t know they could set them to appear in a TARDIS” he sounded worried. He dragged a wooden chair across from another table making as much noise as possible in the process. He sat down and sneakily pulled the hip flask out and took another swig, hiding behind the book, ”Can I assume that since the ring seems programmed to take you,” he pointed the book at Milly, ”To somewhere the programmer assumed would be safe, that the other coordinates are safe too? I mean if they wanted you dead they’d have just dropped you in a black hole or into space right? why waste the effort.” He concluded with a smile, ”I think they wanted you out of the way. Not dead so much as can’t interfere from out here kind of thing.”

"They’d have to get the coordinates absolutely right for it to work." Almund agreed. "Maybe Millie’s from both of our futures and one of us writes them down to give to whoever set these later on." she suggested, rolling her eyes at the appearance of the hip flask. "It’s logical that they’d want to keep her fairly safe, though I’m not completely sold on that they’d want to keep her out of the way. I got more of the impression—and correct me if I’m wrong—that you’d be more like a probe than anything else."

"I’m not sure." said Milly. "But I think I agree with Almund. Are you always this supicious? May it be that a life on the run has twisted your reasoning a little bit? I mean if they just wanted me not to interfere (and whith what, too?) - they would have just let me rot in the archive. They got to a lot of trouble to get me here, so it would make more sense if the wanted me to interfere. Though with what, i have no idea.

About the other coordinates, yes I think they may be safe(ish) too. Still, no way to know other than trying, right?”

 

She winked to Almund, then she yawned like a cat. “But not before I get some sleep. It feels like my brain took in more information in a few hours than in the rest of my whole life. I don’t really trust my judgment right now”.

"I don’t blame you. Time travel without a capsule can be nasty." Almund said with a sympathetic wince. A rather high-pitched tone split the relative silence of the library, making her wince. "That’s the bell for the end of the day. We have to go back by the classroom for my backpack, but they’ll probably let you come home on the bus with me." she said, standing up.

The Stranger jumped, at the sound of the bell, knocking his chair over. He blinked, ”I’m not leaving my TARDIS here.” he insisted, ”They can’t get into it but I don’t wanna risk it.” he blinked again, ”And who says I’m coming with you two anyway?” He frowned, ”I said I’d get you here and I got you here. This whole thing’s got ”trap” written all over it.” The Stranger growled moodily. He made to storm out of the library and be done with the whole thing, ”I’m going to see if this town has a decent, or preferably not decent, bar to get thrown out of.”

Almund shrugged. If Stranger wanted to leave, she could hardly keep him here. “In any case, we both have to go back to the room.” she said, righting the chair and heading for the exit. The hallways were packed with students talking excitedly as they walked to a set of double doors at the far end of it. Almund stuck close to the wall and went against the flow of students, back to the classroom. A few of them spared a glance at the two rather strange-looking people as they passed, but the majority were more interested in talking to their friends than looking around too much.

Milly was starting to feel very tired now. The crowd of aliens pressing against her from all sides was making her more than a bit unconfortable, and she wasn’t quite sure she liked their smell either. She had the constant feeling she was missing out on something important - what the hell, every single thing was “the first alien x, y, or z she had seen in her whole life” and she felt bad not giving everything her full attention, but it was just too much to take in all at once. She clinged to Almund’s arm, knowing that it wasn’t the less conspicuous thing to do but not caring enough to avoid it. Also she didn’t want the Stranger to go, but she had the feeling he would reappear at the first sign of anything interesting, no matter how hard he tried to act the prudent one.

 

The stream of humans never seemed to end.

 

"They are smelly" she said, in her own language. "Are there always so many of them?"

 

"This isn’t even all of them. There’s more on the other side of the building. Humans don’t have looming restrictions, or looms at all. They can kick out a new one every nine months, if they want. Here we are." Almund replied, opening the door and slipping inside the classroom. Thankfully, both the students and the teacher had left for the day so the classroom was empty. "That’s better… It’s all a bit much, I know." she said reassuringly.

The Stranger clapped his hands together at the sight of his TARDIS at the back of the classroom and eagerly strode towards, it pausing momentarily and turning back to the others, ”I… Look if this does all go to hell…Here.” he retrieved two mobile phones and tossed them to Almund and Milly,

”I…My cousin, Fix, modified them so they can call anywhere and any time. My number and theirs is in them already.” he turned back and unlocked the top drawer and started to clamber in. He paused sitting on the edge feet dangling into the TARDIS. He looked back to the two timelords and shrugged, ”Sorry.”

He dropped into the drawer which closed sharply after him. A few seconds later the sound of the engines working overtime filled the room and the cabinet faded away leaving a thin scorch mark on the carpet.

"Woah" said Milly. Everything had happened so fast she barely had the time to try to grab her phone, fail, pick it up from the floor and see the Stranger disappear, without leaving her a moment to say thank you or give him a hug that would have probably made him feel uncomfortable, which was exactly the point of the whole hugging thing.

"He must think we’re going to wreck havoc, if he deems it safer to travel on that heap of garbage held together by luck and good faith, than to stay here with us".

She fiddled at her phone for a moment, looking for the contacts list. The phone was alien too, and so where the characters on the small greenish display. “I wonder who this “Cousin Fix” is… “

Milly shrugged and let the phone slip in one of the big lateral pockets of the trousers of her gallifreyan outside-suit. The phone fell on something hard. She checked the pocket and discovered with relief that she still had the sonic probe she had borrowed from the Ceruleans. Now that Archie was gone, that cheap piece of equipment, a Cerulean t-shirt, some baggy trousers and a pair of muddy boots were all she had to remind her of home.

"Well, Almund", she said, "what now?"

Almond had grabbed her backpack and was fiddling around with the pocket watch around her neck. It sparked slightly and the cell phone the Stranger had thrown in her direction bounced off of her head. “Eep! Thanks!” she called after him, picking the phone up. “I’ve extended the telepathic field on my translator so it should work for you as well.” she said, lapsing into English. “No idea who Fix is, but now we go out to the bus and it’ll take us back to my apartment so you can rest. I don’t blame you for being tired.”

 

"Thank you! I was starting to worry I would have needed to learn the language myself. I think I’ve heard about bus. I want to go on the top floor."

Almund smiled and led the way to the front of the building where several yellow busses were lined up. Children were still milling around outside, gradually filing into the correct one to take them home. “I’m afraid you’re thinking of a different type of bus, those are in London. I’ve always wanted to ride on top of one if those, too.” she said, walking up to one in the middle and starting to climb up inside. Before Millie could follow, the driver stopped them. “I know you’re on my route, but who’s she?” he asked, not unkindly. “She’s coming home with me, it’s fine. I’ve got the papers, hang on a second.” Almund replied, digging through her backpack and bringing out a piece of psychic paper. The driver seemed to accept that, and the girls sat down next to each other on the gray seats. “Thank Rassilon for this… That reminds me, I’ve got to show you Starbucks. I keep using this as a gift card there.”

"Star-what?" she asked, trying her best to stay awake. The gentle rocking of the alien vehicle wasn’t helping much in that regard. The bus was crowded and smelled heavily of humans, but not as crowded as the school corridors, and anyway at this point Milly was too sleepy to care. "Is your place far?"

"I’ll show you later. Go ahead and nap for a little bit, I’ll wake you up when we’re there." Almund said kindly, looking past Millie out the window.

Almund had not even finished talking, that Milly was snoring lightly, head on her friend’s shoulder…

Almund smiled, watching the scenery that would make any Cerulian drool a little slide by. After about ten minutes, she shook her friend awake. “Wake up, we’re here.” she said, hoping that Millie wasn’t too deep a sleeper.

It took Milly a while to remember where she was, and then with that memory came a moment of sheer panic. It was soon over anyway. She yawned and stretched herself awake. “I drooled on your jacket” she said. “Are we there?”

"It’ll be fine. Nothing a spin in the washer won’t fix, at least. Yep, we’re here, we’ve got to get off now." Almund said, leading Millie out of the bus and into a rather large, stone building. It, like the school, had seen better days, and was in the same state of shabbiness. "The actual rooms aren’t so bad. It helps that you’re allowed to decorate them however you like."

 

"Were those trees out there?” asked Milly, as she followed Almund to her room. “This planet is completely wild! Aren’t the locals bothered? Are there wild animals roaming the streets too?”

The short nap seemed to have renewed her curiosity, and now she found herself trying to split her attention so much it could include every single detail of the new environment. If she went on like this, she thought, she would not be able to function much longer. How did people like the Stranger or the former Deca renegades cope?

"Not exactly." Almund said, unlocking the door to her apartment and going inside. It was neat in places and messy in others, but not enough to be a real pigsty. There was a badly-assembled IKEA couch in the main part of the room and a bed could be seen in another room off to the side.

"The trees produce oxygen, which they like, but paper is also made up out of tree fibers, so they’re actually worried about deforestation. Occasionally there are stray dogs or cats—domesticated animals—but their owners generally keep an eye on them." she said, dumping her backpack on the couch and sitting down. "Are you hungry? I’ve got food if you are."

"They have cats on earth too? How interesting."

She tried to sit on the couch and the piece of furniture creaked in protest, then jumped back up at the mention of food. “Oh yes, please, thank you! I’m so hungry I could eat a Pigbear. Raw. Funny I didn’t notice until you told me. It’s not me to forget about food. Also that debauched scendle had me drink on an empty stomach. In his defence, i had not told him my age…”

Almund nodded with a smile, standing back up. “It’s not pills like at home, but it’s still good if you get it right. I’m still getting the hang of cooking.” she said, going over to a kitchenette area and pulling a bottle of Coke and a styrofoam take-out box with leftover Chinese food in it out of the fridge. Luckily, she had two forks and an extra glass, so it was all good. “Here, try this: it’s fried noodles in some kind of sauce. I’m not really sure what’s in it, but it tastes good.”

Milly got the grip of using a fork really fast and started on the food. She scoffed it all in a matter of seconds, a bit surprised at her own courage, and as soon as she figured out how to use a straw, finished the can of coke in a few grateful sips. She tried to speak, but a huge burp came out instead of her voice.

"Wow, that was weird." she said, more intrigued then embarassed by the funny effect. She wondered if that drink was intentionally designed to make that happen. As Almund seemed to be busy using some weird looking console to update her "blog" thing, Milly decided to ease digestion by exploring the apartment, with the pretext of finding a place to drop the empty dishes. The kitchen sink seemed the most appropriate, full as it was of unwashed dishes. The place was so full of tiny alien objects to keep her busy for a while. Once again, she realized she needed to find a way to control her curiosity, to keep her mind to be overwhelmed by details again.

"It’s the carbonation in the drink that does that. It’s normal." Almund said, looking up from her laptop. It was a rather old model she had gotten second hand. After a particularly hard fall, the outside case had cracked and she had found duct tape to hold it together. The screen still worked, so she didn’t care. "Go ahead and look around, I don’t mind."

"I’d rather not" said Milly softly, more to herself than to Almund. She was getting a bit too obsessive torwards… well, everything. She wondered if it was because she had not yet managed to connect to that time’s hivemind, a compensation of some kind. There was still something she wanted to try in that regard, but maybe it would have been wiser to try taking a more serious nap first. She took off her boots (a bit too late for the sake of the floor’s cleanliness) and her not much less muddy trousers, and pushed them a bit under the coach. She hugged a pillow that was supposed to be a very imprecise representation of a cat (unless local cats were VERY different from the gallifreyan omologues) and snug under what looked like a small blanket or a big towel (she couldn’t decide which). "G’night" she said, and the last thought she had was about the Hitchiker’s guide, and how it was really clever to advise to always bring a towel when travelling across the universe.

"That’s fine too. See you in the morning, Millie. It’ll be a good one tomorrow." Almund said with a smile. Thank Rassilon for no school on Saturdays… She’d show Millie around town in the morning and go out to eat, maybe watch a local band or something. There was usually a group playing at various pubs and bars downtown. Come to think of it, that was probably where they’d find the Stranger. More than one reason to go, then.


	2. Showing off

*knock knock knock knock * "Almund?"*knock knock knock knock* "Almund?"*knock knock knock knock* "Almund?"

 

Almund opened the door, still in her pajamas. Millie hadn’t woken her up, but she hadn’t had a chance to get dressed. “G’morning, Millie…” she said with a small yawn.

Milly was jumping up and down, holding the phone the Stranger gave her. “I’m messaging with this Cousin of the Stranger’s and it’s a bundle of laughs and also i think I may be starting to receive a bit of a signal from the hive just a little bit and it’s not mine it’s the one of your time but still it’s something so maybe I don’t need to go insane after all I’m so happy should we have breakfast and go out exploring and then maybe I can get this Fix to check on the time ring so maybe we can see where it would take us and Almund I can look at stuff without going insane again!”

"That’s great!" Almund said with a grin, putting on a white bathrobe and came out to make breakfast. She had a bottle of powdered pancake mix in the cupboard and this was certainly something to celebrate. "How about while I get to making pancakes, you tell me about Fix? How’d you get his number, anyway? I thought Stranger said the phones only had his number in them."

"No, he left both numbers in the contact list. This Fix seems to be a bit more inclined to adventure than their older cousin. Maybe people get boring with age. They shouldn’t be much older than you, but they apparently dropped off school after messing up so bad they couldn’t come back. Anyway they have a vehicle and if I’m not badly mistaken it is a TARDIS, and I was thinking that, if this Fix agreed to drive us around, we could use the time ring as a navigation device. It would be probably safer and surely a LOT more comfortable than just clicking and hoping. And yes I came up with this plan on the go. My brain is either back to normal or completely gone bad. Can’t decide."

"Good idea." Almund said approvingly, taking out the pancake mix, adding water, and shaking it until it was ready. She took out a frying pan while Milly was talking, greased it, and set it carefully on the stove. "As long as technology hasn’t changed that much over the centuries, I should be able to hook the ring up to a TT Capsule and transfer the coordinates over." When the pan was hot enough, Almund poured little puddles of the pancake batter into it, smiling at the smell. "I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as to where the other sets of coordinates would put us."

 

*Milly’s phone bleeped*. “Ugh” she said, as she clumsily typed something on the small keyboard. “That’s fix again. Apparently ‘Matilda’ - that’s the name of the “vehicle” - is even older than that ‘Archie’ thing the Stranger insists on calling a Tardis. Our “cunning plan” may prove a little more challenging than we expect. Still, this Fix claims to be some sort of tinker genius, so you never know, maybe Matilda is not in such a bad shape as Archie after all.”

She bent over the pan. “Those pancake things smell amazing”.

"You never can really tell with the older capsules. If they’re properly maintained, they can last a lifetime." Almund said, shrugging and flipping the pancakes. "Still, from how you’ve described Archie, even proper maintenance might be beyond its help." she said, taking the pancakes out of the frying pan when they were done, putting them on a plate, and sliding it over to Millie, closely followed by a fork and a bottle of syrup. "Here. They taste even better than they smell."

At first Milly had no idea what to do with the syrup. Then she noticed a tiny little picture on its label, showing a much better looking version of her pankakes being covered in something brownish that she supposed would be the syrup itself. She tried to copy the picture, but her result was a lot less impressive. She had a weird feeling about this, like the picture was from a slightly different parallel universe where everything was the same, but just a tiny bit more perfect. She wondered if humans felt the same, and if they pursued that effect on purpose, and why. She stabbed the pancake with the fork, lifted it whole and stuffed as much as she could of it into her mouth. “Fhahf’ goofh” she said, munching. She swallowed and tried again. “That’s good. More than good!”

She checked her phone, but there were no new messages. She sent a short one to the Stranger and went on scoffing her pancakes.

"You need to cut it into pieces with the fork, otherwise it can get stuck in your windpipe, binary vascular system or not. Trust me, I know." Almund said, giggling softly. She poured more pancake batter out on the pan to make more for herself. When they were done, she showed Milly how to use the side of her fork to cut through the soft pancakes, smiling as she started to eat. "I love pancakes… They’re almost as good as magentas."

Milly giggled. “According to our paranoid pirate, you may have been just a word away from gruesome death.”

She stuffed her grinning mouth with more pancakes.

"I wonder how he’s doing" she said, checking her phone. "Uh, there he is, alive and mischievous! Look at this picture! What a show-off! And Fix answered too. I love those phones, you get to stalk on other people. It’s almost like being home".

Almund’s soft giggles were turning into soft laughter as the sugar from the syrup kicked in. “That wouldn’t surprise me, to be honest. This planet’s full of little traps here and there that’ll sneak up on you like a pig-rat if you aren’t careful.” she said, seeing the picture and letting out a derisive laugh. “Mischievous? We’ll show him mischievous.” Almund said, taking the phone and sending off a quick message back to him. “There. We’ll out-strange the Stranger! 101% rebel Time Lord indeed…” she muttered, the type of smirk on her face that usually had people telling her to calm down when it appeared.

Milly swallowed the last piece of pancake. “Oh. Wow. Your face is a bit scary. Just a little. So. What’s the plan?”

"You saying that bit about humans being pretty much oblivious to their surroundings gave me an idea. It’s probably one of those ones that I’ll regret later, but those are always the fun ones, so it’s okay. I was thinking, let’s have a competition to see who can do the most without getting caught." Almund said excitedly.

Milly’s jaw dropped.

"Are you…"

She felt a bit ashamed for what she was about to say, but then she went on: “Are you sure that’s wise?”

"Probably not." Almund admitted with a shrug. "But it’d be fun. And yeah, it’s dangerous, but we’d be careful. I mean, we wouldn’t go around saying ‘Hello, I’m an alien, take me to your leader’. A word here, an odd phrase there, that’s all. And anyway, sociology students are due for their end-of-the-year project. If anyone asks, we could say we’re with them."

 

"Well I do have a few ideas… too bad my knowledge of planet Earth is a bit limited, i would be more at ease in the 60s to 80s England… but then again, not much can have changed in half a century, can it? Only, I wouldn’t want you to blow your cover, or even to ruin your stay on this planet by getting in trouble with the local guards. Also, is it a competition? Because I was thinking… you know a lot more about this place, which gives you a distinct advantage, while I have this " - she crawls under the sofa, picks up her trousers and pulls out her cerulean sonic probe- "which may give me an even bigger one.”

She studied the object for a while. “You know what, we could both use this. More fair and more fun. Also, I think I may need some clothes.”

"Don’t worry about the clothes, you can borrow some of mine. I got a cheap apartment so I could have a little spending money and I went shopping when I first got here." Almund said, smiling brightly and bringing the dirty dishes back to the sink. "We shouldn’t get in trouble with the police if we don’t do anything completely crazy or try to steal anything. Let’s go to the coffee shop and we can start there. That sonic probe’ll definitely help."

After a few minutes, Milly came out from Almund’s room, wearing what she supposed looked like a believable, unconspicuous human outfit. She had a puzzled look on her face, like she couldn’t decide if she were to be concerned or laugh her ass off.

"I’m ready to go and I also may already have a few ideas. Just… read this. We should delete it later, but… I really don’t know what to think." She tossed her phone to Almund, this message already opened. ”You know, hanging out with you people, I’m starting to feel… comparatively sane.”

Almund looked approvingly at Milly’s clothes. “You look good, I’m glad my things fit you.” By now, she had also dressed and was putting the psychic paper into a small-ish tan purse. She fished around a bit inside, going up to her elbow, before taking out a bright orange glasses case and swapping her usual pair for a pair of sunglasses. “That’s probably a good thing. Somehow, I’m not surprised that he’s on the run from Vogons and Judoon. That seems like just a normal Saturday morning for him.”

Out in the street - without the protection of the small, controlled environment of Almund’s apartment - Milly was even more glad for that small hint of contact with the gallifreyan hive she seemed to be regaining. It was far, and feeble, and it still felt off and weird and all wrong. She was constantly feeling like when you walked from one room to another, and the doorframes of your House wiped your short term memory so you forgot why you were going to another room at all, and you had to go back and argue with the doors until they let go of their meal and gave your memory back. Nasty little parasites, doors. Still, there was some contact, so instead of obsessing over every single detail, she could just forward them all to the matrix and enjoy the constant flux of information that was going through her. Maybe that was exactly what she was expected to do. Maybe, she thought, her mysterious “mission” was to just keep doing this as long as she could. That felt good.

And then there was the game. They had not even reached their destination - a place that had something to do with stars and books and second breakfast, so 3/3 good - when Milly found what she was looking for. “Do you have any enemy?” she asked, “Some annoying teacher or bully or nasty wooer?”.

"All three, but let’s start with Jared, the nasty wooer. He usually hangs out around Starbucks anyway, so it’s on our way. He was the one who took me to prom, but got all offended when I didn’t want to mate with him and he’s been weird ever since." Almund said, putting her hands in her pockets as they walked. "He wasn’t in class when you two arrived last night, so he won’t recognize you, but I’ll point him out if he’s there when we arrive. You’ll see."

The Starbucks was just down the street from Almund’s apartment building, and soon they had arrived. She went up to the counter and ordered coffee for the both of them, swiping the psychic paper like a credit card when it came time to pay. After they had been sitting down for a few minutes, Jared came in. He was handsome, with sandy brown hair and green eyes. “There he is, the guy at the counter.” she said quietly, pointing at him while his back was turned.

 

Milly was very glad for the timely presence of a well-deserving target for what she had in mind. She had expected Almund to come up with some names, but what she really needed were exact geographical coordinates, so she was already prepared to pick a random victim to show off her little trick. It wasn’t that she felt bad to pick on innocent people. The real problem was that she feared to feel good. One black woolcaprine is not enough to disgrace a respectable family, they said back home. It takes two. Sometimes Milly wondered if she was destined to become that second one. Rassilon knew how the Oakdown family didn’t need that. Well, a generous fate had decided it was not the day to worry about it.

She walked towards the cute arsehole, pretending to be looking for the loo, and as she passed by him she sneakily locked on his position with her sonic probe. Then she pretended to give up in her search and came back to the counter, where Almund was waiting for her with two gigantic paper cups. “We may also need a cookie for this trick” she said.

Almund gave Milly the thumbs-up as she saw her scan Jared with her sonic probe. “Anything for this.” she said, standing up and going over to the counter. “Funny seeing you here, Almund. I wouldn’t have thought you’d show your face around here after what you’ve done.” he said, his bitterness showing through his tone. Almund just raised an eyebrow and elbowed past him and asked for two cookies. “I live down the street, Jared. You’re going to see me in he area if you hang out around here long enough. I’m not going to hide out just because you might be here.” she replied as she paid for the cookies and went back to sitting with Milly. “Get him twice, the idiot deserves it.”

Milly giggled. “Don’t worry about that. Take your drink and follow me!”

She happily trotted out of the Starbucks, and strode to the place where she had stopped not long before. Her target was a small square with a few trees and a sad, half dried flowerbed. A few pidgeons were pecking at the grass, but a few crumbles from Milly’s cookie were enough to attract quite a big flock of fat, grey birds.

"You see, I’ve read a bit about those creatures, and if I’m not mistaken…" She crouched as she talked, still spreading crumbs all around "those little fellas should have a quite peculiar ability. Let me see." She concentrated and reached out to the bravest pidgeon she could find. The bird looked for a moment like he was about to take off, then it changed his mind and came nearer and nearer, and finally jumped on Milly’s extended hand. "You know" she said, "I’ve always thought this was a foul trick. You could persuade any member of an inferior species to become your next meal if you wanted. For what I know, outsiders do."

With the help of the touch of its small orange talons, she could now make full contact with the simple brain of the creature. “Ah-ha, found it” she said, softly, not to startle the pidgeon. “Those birds may not be the most intelligent thing on this planet - even less than that Jared maybe - but what they have is an amazing sense of direction. They can use the planet’s magnetic field to pinpoint with great precision any set of coordinates. And guess what? Cordinates are exactly what we have. We just need to wait for your friend to come out, and he’ll find a nice little welcome party of Poo-bombers to wait for him. What the heck, you could even have him pooped over twice a day for the rest of his life if you wanted. At least as long as this sonic probe keeps tracking his position.”

She broke the contact with the bird, which recoiled a bit, but remained on the hand for the crumbs and the residual trust that the contact had left in his small mind. Milly handed the pidgeon and the probe to Almund. “Here, they’re all yours!”

Almund grinned, taking both. “You’re an evil genius, Milly.” she said, ducking behind a bush and gingerly pushed aside a branch with her sleeve so they could see better. “Go on, little guy…” she said quietly, gently pushing the pigeon out into the open so it would be able to see Jared when he came out a few seconds later. The pigeon launched itself into the air and shot itself at him, nearly knocking the cup out of his hands. “What the fuck?” he asked, looking around and glaring at the offending pigeon, which promptly pooped on him. Almund was having a hard time keeping quiet, the look on his face alone was enough to warrant biting on a knuckle to be silent.

Milly giggled. “I know, sometimes I’m scared of myself.” she wispered. “And if you ever get bored and don’t mind being a bit more conspicuous, you may always send the whole flock. So, your turn. Show me your best tricks!”

Almund had that evil smile on her face again as she turned away from the bush. “When you were in the Archives, did you ever see a mention of Alfred Hitchcock’s film The Birds?” she asked, altogether too innocently for her expression. Quickly breaking up the remaining cookie, Almund got the attention of the rest of the pigeons and tried a mass-hypnosis trick that Koschei had shown her a span or two ago. The kid was a promising telepath, even by Gallifreyan standards. As one, the small crowd of pigeons flew into the air and started to rush at Jared like the first had done, but this batch of birds knocked him on the head with their wings and clung to his clothes until he looked like a feathery thing instead of a person.

 

Milly had to cover her mouth with both hands not to laugh out loud. The poor human looked terrified. She knew it was a good time to start feeling a little sorry for him, but she just couldn’t. She wondered if it went the same way for her cousin, back in Almund’s time, playing bigger and harsher pranks on people as time went by, together with his friend Thete, the one that Almund called Wormhole, until one bad day they stepped over the line and everything changed, and without them ever having a choice, their friendship, their games became something else. A different kind of game. She wondered if this was the reason she had been sent here, to see history retrace its path. It sounded like something the Old One could have conceived.

"Shouldn’t we let him go and move on to the next trick?"

Almund giggled a little as Jared stumbled into a building and sent a telepathic impulse to the pigeons to go away. Within a few seconds, they had all but disappeared, leaving Jason looking worse for the wear on the sidewalk.

"So, who should we get next? There’s a few girls who are into the occult we could do… Oh! It’d take a bit of preparing, but the result would be more than worth the effort… What if we did that Earth Eighth Man Bound with them?" she proposed, practically buzzing with excitement. Almund was rather fond of the human occult as well, especially how easy it was to trick humans in this area.

"No!" shouted Milly, too loud and too fast. For a moment she feared she may have attracted the attention of the miserable human on the sidewalk, but he was too busy running away crying like a baby to notice anything.

"No", she said again, with a bit more control. "First of all, I’m a newblood so the ass that we would be risking is yours, and I don’t want to. Second, two of us is not enough to make it work properly, even using the humans as repeaters, as I suppose you were thinking. I know theoretically it may be done, but it would be unreasonably dangerous. Third I’ve only taken part in that nonsense once and I wouldn’t be able to do it again. Fourth, that one time didn’t go well. So it’s a No and a No it will remain.

She paused for a while, looking not at Almund but at her own feet, uncomfortably wrapped in her friend’s shoes, slightly too big for her.

"We could do anything else. Have them believe there are ghosts in the room, creating a good old poltergeist mess, the old classics. Pretending to be possessed, or dead, or both. But i’m not really risking you just because you want to prove you’re brave. I know you are. OK?"

Milly seemed only now to realize she was being bleak and spoiling the fun. She went back to her original smiling self: “Anyway, we’ll have to wait for the night to play the spooky games, won’t we? In the meanwhile, how about some more payback? Who’s the next victim, heh?”

Almund jumped slightly when Milly refused, but soon relaxed again. As much as it was tempting to go ahead alone, Milly made some good points. “Thinking on it, you’re right. Eighth Man Bound is rather dangerous. I guess I got a bit carried away. It’s fine that you wouldn’t want to, one of my cousins tried a couple spans ago. It could be rather traumatizing if it went wrong. The poltergeist bit’ll work perfectly, but we’ll have to wait until nightfall.”


	3. Selling out

[a message on Milly's phone]

Hey!!! Send me your co-ordinates I want to show you something!!! -Fix -

 

"Can I?"asked Milly, snatching back her sonic probe from Almund. "There… we are" she said, as the device transferred the local coordinates to the phone with a loud whirr.

"I’m really curious to see what the mini-scendle will come up with!"

 

Fix was careful to make sure any humans nearby wouldn’t notice the ‘statue’ appearing from nowhere, as far as they were concerned the crumbling tribute to Roald Dahl had always been there.

Fix was also careful not to cut off any toes accidentally while materialising Matilda around both Almund and Milly. They smiled as they saw the two appearing successfully in the middle of the console room with both their backs turned to the grinning timelord at the controls.

"Hi!" They called, waving one little arm enthusiastically at them, "I told you I was a good pilot!"

"What the majestic frack…." said Milly, as she tried to turn around to face whatever had talked, just a tiny bit too fast to do it gracefully. She lost her balance and landed on her bottom, hitting the metallic floor of the Tardis’ control room with a painful sdeng and a not much dignified”Ow!”

"What the heck where you thinking, materializing around us like this, you could have… oh!"

The chain of insults that she was ready to discharge on the newcomer died out, when she finally saw them. In front of the two puzzled ladies, stood what looked like a barely pubescent and somehow cute kid.

"Are you… are you Fix?"

"Yeah I am!" They waved again, smiling from ear to ear, "And I could have, but I didn’t! Because I’m a great pilot! I’ve done it a bunch of times."

They stepped down from the console and held out a hand to the lady slumped on the floor.

"You’re Milly right? You’re the one I was messaging?" Fix enquired.

Milly looked up at Almund, seing in her face her own puzzlement like in a mirror (plus a hint of a half restrained laugh for her fall).Things were taking an unexpected turn, still she was glad something had come to distract Almund from her original plans. She had the feeling her friend would have insisted, and that they would have ended up doing something they would have been lucky to regret.

She accepted the hand and let Fix help her get up. As soon as they were standing face to face, she noticed Fix was measuring their respective heights. She had been joking when she called them “the mini-scendle, but that was a pretty accurate description. “Hah” she said, “I beat you by half an inch. I didn’t think you would actually be shorter than me. You still win on the age though. Which brings up the question: how comes you look so… diminutive? Did you just… somehow forgot to age?”

"Whatever the reason, he probably can’t help it. Or maybe you’re just younger, I’ve always been bad at judging ages." Almund said, alternating between looking around and looking at Fix. "I don’t think we’ve met before, I’m Almund." she introduced herself, holding out her hand to shake.

Fix tried to subtly go onto their tiptoes in an effort to best Milly’s height.

"Yeah, I don’t know!" Fix lied, rocking on their heels, "Regeneration is tricky, right?"

They beamed again a little too fast and seized Almunds hand.”Pleased to meet you! This is that human way of saying hello, right?”

"Yes, it is. I’ve been on Earth on exchange for about a month and already some of the customs are rubbing off on me." Almund said, a little apologetically.

"Reg… how?! You’re what, one-sixty? How could someone possibly mess things up so bad to get himself killed before they can even properly be called an adult?! No, wait, I know: it was the Stranger’s fault for sure. Promised to look after you and then dropped you on a Vashta Nerada infested asteroid as soon as a cruise ship full of millionaires passed by and tickled his greed with vague promises of profit. Am I right? Getting near at least?"

Almund looked back and forth between Fix and Milly, not saying anything. If Fix had regenerated, he must be a Renegade. She couldn’t think of any other reason he could have started so young. Then again, maybe he wasn’t a Renegade and it had happened some other way. If that was the case (despite how nice the Stranger had seemed before) it was probably his Cousin’s fault. She really didn’t know what to say.

 

"I-" Fix’s mouth was open, agog at Milly’s outburst. "I’m a hundred and twenty." They said weakly. "Wait no! I mean, Stranger had nothing to do with it, I hadn’t even met him when it happened!"

They frowned, crossing their arms and pouting made them look even more infantile. “And Stranger doesn’t need to look after me! I look after myself just fine!” They stamped their foot a little on the last word, not helping their case.

"Yeah. We totally don’t need looking after either" said Milly, unsure if she was being ironic or trying to persuade herself. "It’s not like we’ve just been effectively kidnapped by an unknown and potentially dangerous hundr’age renegade with the most obviously shady background ever. While we were being busy discussing the different degrees of danger of a set of improvised plans of voluntary intereference with an inferior species for fun. On a planet where miss Innocent Face here” - Milly pointed at Almund - “has been sent undercover and I have just been dropped like a deadweight by another, most certainly more shady and more dangerous renegade, with an evident alcohol problem and a barely functional Tardis. In which I had just materialized The-Other-knows-how, after being shipped there like a package by the Decrepit King of Shady back home, not without having the Emperor of Shady doing I-don’t-want-to-know-what with my head first.” - she stopped talking for a moment and turned to Almund - “Yes sorry maybe I should have told you about all this before I got you involved, you’re ok with all that, yes?”

She turned back to Fix. “So, you see. Everything is under control here. What did you want to show us?”

Almund’s eyebrows shot up at the news that someone had been messing with Milly’s head, but she shrugged. “Good thing we didn’t decide to play Eighth Man Bound, then. I’m sticking with you and I’ll deal with the fallout later.” she said before turning to look at Fix as well. “What /did/ you want to show us?” she asked, intrigued.

 

Fix paused a little after Milly’s rant, a little awestruck.

"Um," They scuffed a toe of their boot on the floor, "I didn’t mean to kidnap you, and Stranger isn’t dangerous really. I don’t think either of us are very dangerous." Were they dangerous? Fix didn’t think they were dangerous, only to dissatisfied customers who didn’t like paying for a commission and finding out afterwards Fix had taken the remainder of their wallet.

"And the thing I wanted to show you was a place, but if you don’t want to go then that’s ok," They said, in a voice that intoned they’d be very disappointed if it wasn’t.

"YESWEDO!" answered the two of them with one voice.

"Besides, no matter what you have in mind, rest assured that it will be safer than whatever Almund here would have come out with next" noted Milly. "Good to know you and the Stranger aren’t dangerous. He kinda looked like he could be. A bit. Though i suppose if you actually were, that’s exactly what you would say, right?"

She giggled. “I’m kidding. I think. It’s just that I’m not really good with people, and you being extra weird isn’t helping much and…” (a stare from Almund made her stop half way) “…and i’m probably being a dork.”

 

Fix’s nervous face broke out into a beaming smile.

"He likes his gun but he’s a softie really," They nodded knowledgeably, "And if I was dangerous then I’m skilled enough to kill you without having to take you anywhere, so you’re fine with me!"

They moved to the console and started warming up the engines ready to go.

"I don’t talk to people very much, so I don’t think I’m much better than you really." They shrugged apologetically. "You might want to hold onto something, Matilda isn’t the smoothest ride."

Almund grinned. She was so excited! Archaic Capsules had always been an interest of hers and now they were going on a ride in one! “That’s fine!” she said, holding onto a handrail. “Let’s go!”

"After surviving the Stranger’s driving skills…" moaned Milly, looking for something solid AND padded enough to hold on. Found a good handhold, she grabbed it and gestured to Fix. "As you’re ready!" she said, smile wide as her face.

"Hold on tight!" Fix grinned, and threw a lever that bucked the whole TARDIS. Though Matilda didn’t put up as much of a fight as Archie did during travel, the effort of moving made the ancient TARDIS whine and groan like it was disgruntled at having to work. Occasionally it would shudder horribly, making Fix’s stomach drop in worry, but Matilda eventually ground to a halt with a relieved sounding hiss.

"Here we are!" Fix skipped to the door, pausing with a hand on the handle. "Okay, so I didn’t actually want to show you anything, I just wanted to meet you. So I don’t know where we are really." They said bashfully, scuffing a toe against the floor. "So it should be an adventure!" They brightened, and opened the door.

A bustling town square flooded with sunlight greeted them, market stalls squeezed in tight amongst the crowds of various alien races. Tall spires could be seen in the distance, indicative of a city far away. The square was quaint and relatively quiet despite the hubbub of the markets, fix noticed the gravity has a lesser pull than on Earth, and this gave the people the appearance of almost floating as they walked.

"So you are a dork after all!” said Milly, releasing her unnecessarily tight grip on the handrail (compared to the one she endured with the Stranger, not to mention her time ring, this trip had been smooth as oil, and she suspected Fix’s warning may have been just a move to create some suspence). She was about to go on with another snarky comment about it, when the doors opened and she just forgot what she was going to say. She stared wide-eyed at the alien landscape.

"This is…" she tried to say, but couldn’t figure out how to go on. Her first impulse (which came as a surprise for her too) was to just run out of those doors right now.

That may have not been an unusual feeling for Matilda’s owner too, given Fix had thoughfully placed a small secondary scanner screen right on the side of the door, so that any unwelcoming condition would be signaled in bright mauve right there where an eager explorer could not miss to see it, thus avoiding stupid mistakes (like venturing in a place with no air without a spacesuit). All parameteres where showing green, now, so Milly surrended to her urge and sauntered off, her tiny little jumping steps getting wider and higher as soon as she crossed the border of Matilda’s artificial gravity zone.

She breathed in the weird smelling air, then turned to the tardis, still half jumping, and called her travel mates: “Last to come out is a feathergill!”

Almund ran out next, not noticing the scanner by the door. She grinned, looking around. “Wow! It’s so… different!” she said rather stupidly, but not knowing what else to say. She had never been off-world before, except for the Earth exchange, and couldn’t quite put into words how she was feeling. Excited was definitely part of it, with curiosity coming in as a close second. There were so many new things and so little time in the day to look at them.

 

'Two Time Lords' the man thought, watching the pair of girls look around in wonderment. 'Two Time Lords and a TARDIS… They'd fetch quite a price on the black market, there's precious few of them left… I must tell my master'

 

Fix smiled at the two and locked the TARDIS behind them. Though it only looked like a broken down stall similar to the others, Fix wanted to be sure Matilda would be safe.

They started wandering towards various booths and quickly got distracted by one that sold little robot animals in golden cages, presumably meant for children but Fix was entranced.

"How much?" They breathed, Milly and Almund forgotten.

"Five hundred rakla each," The reptilian shopkeeper hissed, and Fix’s face fell as they remembered their empty pockets.

"I can’t afford it." They said sadly, right when the shopkeeper got distracted by a small round child trying to climb the table and was nearly upsetting the table.

Fix’s hand shot out and snatched up a small anamatronic frog and shoved it quickly in their pocket before strolling away as casually as they could, resolving to look at their spoils later in case it was missed. They spotted Milly and flashed a grin at them.

Milly smiled back, a big hampster smile, as her mouth was full of something that was a worriesome blue but tasted pretty good. A birdlike creature, which looked most likely old, female and kind, was giving her free samples from the various delicacies of her food stall, apparently because she was finding her reactions entertaining.

"You fhouf fhry fhoshe phurphle ghrjhghhfh" she tried to say. She swallowed and tried again. "The purple globes. Would you be able to buy a net of those? They’re awesme."

The bird offered her another basket full of small little yellow pyramids, that looked a bit like candy. Milly dutifully checked the content with her sonic, and refused with a smile when the probe emitted a loud, unpleasant boop.

"Better not try those" she told Fix, "they’re definitely not edible. So are the slug thingies that you can see moving on the shelf, and the transparent globes there are outright poisonous. The rest should be safe enough, though i would go easy on those vibrating mushrooms if i were you. Unless you wanted to get high as a vortisaur i mean. You do have currency, right?"

 

Meanwhile, Almund had stayed somewhat close to the TARDIS to look at a stall that was selling strange-looking slightly hairy sweaters. They weren’t probably something she would want to buy, but they were sure interesting to look at until someone that looked like Milly came up and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, you’ve got to see this!" she said, with a strangely vacant expression. "…Are you alright, Milly? You look a little out of it." Almund asked suspiciously. "I’m fine, but you’ve got to see this!" she said, more insistent this time. Almund frowned, but shrugged. "Might as well. Let’s go. What is it?" "It’d be better to show you. The person who looked like Milly led Almund around a corner and everything went black.

 

Fix plucked a purple, egglike globe from the stall and popped it in their mouth, making a satisfied noise and the delicious taste that melted on their tongue.

"Mm-!" They tried to talk through the food, rummaging in one pocked, "I fuhgot- aha!" They held a grubby bit of paper triumphantly up to the storeholder, who squinted at it before nodding, satisfied with whatever the paper was telling her.

Fix swallowed. “This should get you whatever you wanna get.” They pressed it into Milly’s hand, “Just share it with Almund.” They looked round. “Did Almund go and look at the shops somewhere else?”

There was a squeaking from the pocket Fix had fished the paper out of, brow furrowed they reached in and pulled out the little robot frog still in the cage. Fix hadn’t had a chance to look properly before, but now it was obvious that the frog wasn’t an ordinary plaything for children. The poor thing was throwing itself against the bars of the cage and croaking in distress.

"Oh, oh no I’m sorry," Fix mumbled to it, "I didn’t realise you were sentient, I’m sorry." They quickly unlocked the cage and tipped the frog onto their palm, where it licked Fix’s finger in thanks and hopped off onto the floor. They watched it hop away, thinking hard.

"I think-" Fix looked round at the stalls, at the stall selling live animatronic critters, at the egglike sweets which were starting to look suspiciously like actual eggs. "I think this might be a slave market."

"A what?" asked Milly, just half interested, as she was busy buying a net of those delicious purple things. After pondering for a moment, she decided to buy also a small packet of those trippy shrooms as a gift for the Stranger, provided they met again soon enough.

"Like, an unofficial one? Outside a well regulated caste system?". She looked around, a little less at ease than before. "Wouldn’t that render the line between purchasers and merchandise a bit… blurred? Hey Almund, what do you think…" she stopped mid sentence, noticing just then that Almund was not with her.

"Where the frack…" she muttered, looking around, jumping up and down to try to see behind the heads of the crowd (most aliens being taller than her).

She took her phone out of her poket and messaged Almund: “Where are you? Come at the food stall with the turquoise flag on the top, we wait here!”

 

When Almund came to, she saw she was in a rather spacious cage with her hands shackled to the bars behind her. There was a dark purple sheet thrown over the cage so she couldn’t tell where she was, but she could make out slightly muffled voices probably amplified somehow and filtering back through a cheap wall.

 ”Our next item is a bargain, as I’m sure you’ll all agree. The Screamer is loud, admittedly, but we’re all opportunists, aren’t we? Think on the bright side! Their yelling is so loud it can shatter glass, stone, and the very surface of the planet.” A man’s voice said, accompanied by the sound of squeaky wheels rolling away. A few seconds later, an ear-splitting scream tore through the air, followed by the distinct sound of breaking metal and a crowd shouting increasingly higher numbers at the stage.

 

The shapeshifter disguised as Almund approached the other two Time Lords, a smirk on its face. The entire race was oblivious, it was a wonder this trait had been exploited only once before. It quickly took on a worried expression and hurried up to the other two. “Fix! Milly! Did you hear that scream? What’s going on?”

"I think that they’re selling people here," Fix explained, suddenly very urgent. What if they took Matilda? What if one of them were taken? "I think we need to go, I’m glad you got the message so quickly, my phones come in handy, huh?" Fix smiled briefly then grabbed both timelords by the hands, pulling them back towards Matilda.

"I’m responsible for you two, as the oldest." Fix unlocked the door and opened it for them to go in first, "So I won’t stay where there’s trouble. We can go to a nicer safer place without legalised slavery."

 

Uh oh. This wasn’t how the double had thought things would go at all. Time for ye olde diversionary tactics. The double doubled over, clutching its stomach. This was a signal for a pair of men in long black robes to come over and roughly take the two Time Lords and frog-march them away. The patrons of the rather crowded market paid little attention to them, runaways were an unfortunate side-effect of slave markets. Some of them were clever.

 

Milly was glad she had at the very last moment refrained from saying out loud the objection that had been in her head (“Oh please Fix let’s stay a bit longer, it’s interesting, and we can look after ourselves!”). Not because saying or not saying it would have changed a thing in their current situation, but because as things were now, it would have been deeply embarassing.

She tried her best to assess the strenght of the two shady figures that were holding her and Fix. She couldn’t see Almund, who was possibly walking behind them, but she had not missed to notice that no black robed gorilla had seized her. This had to mean something, though she couldn’t yet tell what. She eyed at Fix, that was half walking, half being carried a few feet on her right. She reached out to his mind as quietly as she could (no idea if those aliens could hear them), keeping it so basic it was half telepathy and half common sense: “3,2,1, kick and flee?”

Fix was snatched up before they had a chance to lock Matilda again, and they kicked and tried to pull away from the gargantuan that had them hostage to get back to her. To no avail; the black-robed arms just tightened their grip round Fix’s skinny arms and hitched them up so their arms were painfully carrying the weight of their body. Fix couldn’t see Almund, but had assumed that she had been taken in a similar fashion.

Fix jumped when Milly made contact with their mind, it had been a while since the last time someone communicated with them telepathically. They nodded in agreement, but privately thought that with the arsenal they had in their coat pockets, kicking wasn’t the least they would do.

They waited for Milly’s signal, and planned a strategy of attack in their head.

"Now." Milly thought to Fix, elbowing her gorilla in the stomach. He let go of her on reflex and staggered back to crash into the double. Immediately, it took on the gorilla’s form, eyes wide and panicky. This was definitely not going to plan.

 

Meanwhile, the real Almund was still in her cage. The sounds of movement around her had steadily decreased until she was sure she was the only one in the room. The feeling of nervousness and anticipation—what was going to happen to her?—built up further and further until finally the auctioneer shuffled his papers and chuckled softly.

"Our final sale tonight is a most rare and fine specimen. The rumors are true. Through our methods, we have managed to capture and subdue a Time Lord of Gallifrey."

The murmuring of the crowd grew into a dull roar as Almund’s cage was wheeled out through a door and onto the stage on the other side. The cloth was removed with a flourish and Almund blinked in the light. The man had said ‘Time Lord’, singular, so Milly and Fix were still out there. She could only hope that they would escape to somewhere where she could join up with them later. Almund was already forming a plan to escape.

 

Fix kicked both feet into the gorilla’s gut, having to throw their hands out to catch their fall when they were dropped. Snatching the first weapon that came to hand in their pocket, they spun back to their feet and swung it at the still-staggering gorilla. The tazer they held sent the gorilla, shuddering with electricity to the ground. Fix spun round again and jabbed it into Milly’s captor to keep him down, then looked round for Almund- But the other timelord was gone, only one more confused-looking gorilla remaining.

Fix grabbed Milly by the wrist and pulled her into a run.

"Come on, Almund’s probably gone already let’s go!”

Even before she could properly get back to her feet, Milly felt the tiny grip of Fix’s hand pull her up and away in the direction where they were coming from. She could see Matilda a few running steps away, just another market stall except for the illogical, dreamlike view of the control room that appeared for no reason to be floating amongs the colourful clothes and fabrics that it pretended to be selling. As she sprinted, some animal part of her (one that until now she didn’t know she had) registered that instead of two thugs and an Almund, now there were thre thugs. The rest of her, anyway, was too busy to crave the end of that run to care. She dived into the opening in the stall with Fix, still holding hands, turned frantically to the door and panicked: half of her wanted to scream “Lock it lock it fast fast fast!”, while the other was ready to fight to stop them closing that door without Almund safely inside…

 

Fix slammed the door and quickly locked the door behind them. There was a brief quiet despite the insistent hammering outside.

"Almund wasn’t there," Fix answered Milly’s look, "We couldn’t wait for them. Best to just get away from this area and look for them somewhere else." They moved to the control panel and input co-ordinates for the other end of the square, where all the noise had coming from. If nothing else they could see what all the fuss was about.

A short journey later Fix peeked out at the packed crowd that surrounded a stage. From where they were and with the crowd packed so tightly round them it was difficult to see what was on it but whatever it was, people were excited.

 

That odd feeling of being split persisted.

There was a Milly that wanted to stop Fix from closing the door, and one that wanted to grab them and throw them to the floor with her own weight to stop them from flying away, abandoning Almund there, because it was all their fault, they were a coward and she couldn’t trust them. At the same time, there was a Milly that helped them with the doors and ran to the console with them, because she knew they were doing the right thing and everything would be ok. Then there was a third that was just standing there, half smiling, perfectly at ease, making good use of the moment of relative peace to finally elaborate all the raw data she had received while running. Which added to the simple conclusion that Almund had never really been there, and that the first working hypothesis (“Almund has been hypnotized”) was to be discarded.

Milly wondered if this was how everyone functioned in times of danger (in which case, that was amazing news), or if the mushrooms she had tasted just a few moments (or was it ages?) ago had something to do with it. While the net of purple globes was gone who knows where, she noticed that very moment that the small packet of shrooms was still in her clutched hand. She released the grip of her fingers with effort, and the packet fell to the floor, where it remained, buzzing lightly.

She decided she didn’t care and joined Fix, peeking out her too.

 

Outside, the crowd was demanding proof. “How can we be sure she’s what you say she is?” “You’ve probably switched her out for one of the worthless mankind!” they shouted as Almund started to squirm in the cage. She coughed and spasmed, making the crowd grow silent in seconds.

"To prove she is a Time Lord, I have given her a diluted solution of dissolved aspirin. It will produce an allergic reaction, but not a fatal one, I can assure you!” the auctioneer shouted over Almund’s increasingly alarming coughing and spasm fits.

He strode forward and unlocked her shackles in one smooth motion, letting her fall forward onto her hands and knees before throwing a chocolate bar into the cage. With a shaking hand, Almund took the chocolate and ate frantically. Soon, her coughing and spasms subsided and she lay panting on the floor of the cage.

Once the buyers could see that the girl was alright, they started shouting numbers at the stage like before, only this time they were much, much higher. Gallifreyans had always been a highly valuable commodity due to their ability to regenerate and longevity, but since news of the Time War came trickling down through the Vortex, prices had skyrocketed due to the very limited supply.

From their position, Milly and Fix couln’t see what was happening on the stage, but they could hear the auctioneer’s voice. When she heard what he had done to Almund, Milly’s vision went red with rage and she would have stormed out, ready to climb over people’s backs to get on the stage and kill him - and everyone else who dared to try and stop her - with her own claws and teeth, if it wasn’t for that weird state she’d been in for the last minutes. Instead, she took Fix’s hand and backed two steps into the Tardis. “We must take her away before anyone does something worse” she told him, with a calm that didn’t seem to belong to her. “Simplest way may be to buy her back. Pretending to be someone local. Could you do this somehow? Olograms, androids, perception filters, whatever. Do you have any gadget that could do the job?”

Almund lay on the floor of the cage, vaugely aware of what was going on around her. She stayed very still, saving her strength for her escape. Almund hadn’t seen Milly and Fix in the crowd and the aspirin had all but knocked out her vision (which was slowly coming back), so she had gotten started on thinking up what she was going to do to get out of there. During the betting, she steadily slowed her breathing and heartbeat to barely functioning and waited for her purchaser to think she was dead.

Fix was running the various gadgets in their head, a close-range teleport wouldn’t work in such small proximity to the cage and with so many people around, any weapon would be disastrous. Fix reached into an inside pocket and pulled out a long chain with a small, minimalist pendant on the end.

"This was payment for a repair I did ages back," Fix was untangling the chain, "It -apparently- makes you look like whatever the person thinks you look like, like psychic paper but for your whole body. I don’t know what it’s called or if there’s anything like it but it works, and it’s the closest thing we have right now to what we need."

Fix looked at Milly seriously. “I only have one.”

Milly stared at the pendant. It looked small and fragile, not unlike the chances of that plan to work. “It’s risky” she said. “I’ve counted at least thirteen different species, no way to predict if this will be able to fool all of them. Also, among us you’re definitely the best bluff, and probably the only one that would have a chance to fool them, but then again if things went wrong I’d never be able to fly this thing - sorry - Matilda. We could do the old “prisoner and captor” scene, but then Matilda would be left unprotected, and i can see no way it could end well.”

She remained silent for a few moments, thinking, then she snorted, clenching her fists in frustration.

"If only I weren’t so utterly useless…"

The rapid-fire bidding continued (soon concluding with a heated argument between a large badger and a purple-colored man with one eye, one horn, and a pair of wings), and Almund’s cage was wheeled down a ramp to the purple man waiting at the base. He peered inside, observing her prone figure and it’s lack of breathing and turned angrily to the orderly who had pushed the cage out.

"She’s not breathing! I’m not going to pay for a dead slave!" he said rather loudly, drawing the attention of a few surrounding auction-goers. "They do that sometimes, give her a kick and that’ll wake her up." an otherwise sweet-looking old woman told him. He opened the door and climbed inside with Almund, delivering a swift kick to the stomach. Her eyes flew open and she buried the pain, kicking the purple man in the groin. He sank to the ground and Almund stood as quickly as she could, dashing out the door and shutting it behind her.  

She had escaped the cage, but now there was the crowd to deal with, and they were looking like they would put up a fight in favor of her new owner.

This was more than Milly could take. That little control she had shattered, she snatched the pendant from Fix’ hand and switly got her head into the chain, grimacing as she struggled to get it past her ears and nose. She grabbed Fix’s coat and gave them a desperate look. “Blow up… something” she said, then dashed out and charged through the crowd, trying to get to Almund before she was snatched again.

Almund ran toward where she thought Matilda was, pushing her way past people in her way. She was glad that she had taken the time to learn Venusian Akido with Wormhole until the next being in front of her was a Venusian merchant. He managed to land a few blows to her upper arms and chest (she was viciously protecting her shoulders) until Almund remembered what she had seen a few weeks back when there was a fight at school and she punched him in the face.

At first Milly couldn’t see Almund in the crowd, but judging by where the turmoil was most intense, she was running in the wrong direction. Given nobody had tried to stop her yet, it appeared that Fix’s toy was probably working, at least as long as she followed the flow of people. Still, she couldn’t afford to waste time being careful. She fought her way through the crowd, saying “sorry” and “pardon” every time she squeezed between a furry bottom and a scaly back, or under a pair of scrawny bird legs.

Then she finally saw her. Considering what she’d just been through, Almund looked like she wasn’t doing so bad. At the moment, she was kicking some serious butt, though it was clear that most of her advantage had been surprise, and that as soon as the market dwellers realized they could just stop taking turns to attack, she would run out of luck.

She managed to trip “by mistake” a quite well-built reptilian that was trying to get to Almund’s back when she was busy with what looked like a quite amused Venusian, then “accidentally” crouched, breaking with her body the charge of a seriously unaestethic one horned, winged purple creature that was screaming abuse so vile nor Matilda nor Almund’s watch dared to translate.  A third attacker (all Milly could see were long furry legs with horse knees) wasn’t bothered at all and just walked over her as she was a heap of junk. She screamed, half from the pain and half from the outrage - that was the first time ever anyone had actually dared to hurt her - and desperately grabbed one of those furry legs, being dragged along to the center of the fight…

Fix merely watched for a moment or two, both mesmerized by the fighting and hopeful that maybe they could pull this off without having to destroy anything. No such luck, as it became quickly obvious that this fight was not going to go their way.

"Just plain silly…" Fix muttered, snatching a rocket launcher from a handy hook near the door and leaving Matilda. Using the massive gun that was nearly as tall as them, Fix used it as a prop to climb onto the top of the TARDIS.

"OI!" They shouted at the top of their lungs, and promptly shot a rocket into the stage.

It exploded in a chaos of wooden shrapnel and anyone nearby went flying from the shockwave of it. Anyone who wasn’t caught in the crossfire was staring at the wreckage.

"Milly! Almund! Into the TARDIS, NOW!”

Almund couldn’t help but stare in awe at the rather spectacular explosion for a second before dashing over to grab Milly’s hand and running over to where she had heard Fix’s voice. She still couldn’t see normally yet, but it was approaching its usual level. “Coming!” she shouted back, still forming a path through the crowd where she had to.

 

Milly screamed again when Almund grabbed her hand, which had just been walked over by the furry thing’s hoof. She didn’t understand what was going on, all she knew was that one moment before they were about to get their ass kicked, then everything had gone boom, and now her ears were buzzing and nobody was trying to stop them. That last one at least was good news.

"It’s them!" she heard someone shout. "The third one too! Over there!" shouted another voice.

"Spoke too soon" thought Milly, as they ran towards Fix and the Tardis, trying to get there faster than the three thugs they’d just about escaped from a few minutes before. Apparently, Fix’s pendant wasn’t doing anything to conceal her from them, maybe because they knew exactly what to look for. She sprinted, now half dragging Almund who was falling behind. “Damn oldbloods” she thought, fighting back a fit of panic as the gorillas gained ground. “The hell with it” she said out loud. She picked up Almund and loaded her on her shoulder. “You can kill me later” she shouted, as she covered the last few steps as fast as her legs would let her, both hearts pumping furiously. One of the gorillas missed to grab Almund’s ankle by inches, as they dived through the door of the Tardis and landed on the metal floor like two bags of potatoes.

Fix hopped down from the roof of the TARDIS and sprinted into it, barely closing the door behind them and immediately began piloting it away to… anywhere that wasn’t here.

They grinned as the TARDIS vanished from among the angry mob of slavers that surrounded it.

"Maybe somewhere quieter instead?" Fix suggested to the two timelords, turning away from the console to smile apologetically at them.

Almund let out a startled yelp as Millie picked her up, but was too breathless to protest. When they tumbled to the floor of Matilda, the adrenaline had worn off and all she could do was lay on the floor and gasp for breath. All the same, she still had a grin on her face.

Once Matilda had dematerialized and she had got her breath back, Almund stood up and chuckled lightly. “Are you sure you’re not a Patrex? That was quite some explosion back there…” she said, still slightly bent over from the exertion. “Let’s try the Eye of Orion. I heard it’s very peaceful there.” she suggested, now mostly back to normal.

That grin on Almund’s face, even before she could probably even tell if she was still in one piece, and if they were really safe. Milly knew that smile, she’d seen it so many times on Wormhole’s faces, when she sneaked into the archives to watch his logs, dreaming to go on and have adventures like him, one day. She’d even come to think that all that information would have prepared her for when she finally did set off to travel the universe. Fat lot of good they were.

She looked at her friend, getting up and joking with Fix, as they sauntered around the console as if all that happened was just a minor inconvenience in an otherwise ordinary day. She got to her feet too, thinking to join them and say something witty, but as she opened her mouth to speak, a unexpected cry came out instead, and before she could understand what was happening, she was bawling like a child, like the very small ones sometimes do when they get scared, but only dare to cry when the danger is over.

Almund went over to Milly, patting her on the back comfortingly. “There there… We’re okay now, nobody can hurt us here, we’re safe…” she said kindly, sending soothing images of home through the contact. “That’s the way, just let it out. We don’t mind.”

Fix jumped at the cry, the smile dropped from their face.

"What is it? What happened?" They rushed over to Milly, checking for any sudden injuries that might have happened to cause the crying. They were confused when they couldn’t find any.

"What’s wrong?" They frowned, confused, "We got out safely didn’t we?"

"Shock, I think. I don’t blame her. First full day off of Gallifrey and then all this happens…" Almund said, alternating glances between Milly and Fix. "No wonder you were scared."

As Almund came to pat her back, Milly hugged her tight, crying all over her t-shirt. Her friend’s attempts to comfort her only managed to make her cry louder, and seeing Fix come to check on her, with that serious look on their small face made things even worse.

"It’s not me-ee" she cried, trying to explain. "They hurt A-almund, and i couldn’t see, I could just hear, and then they said…" She sobbed, gaining back a little control as she spoke - "I knew you were faking" she said to Almund, a bit ashamed - "but i couldn’t see, what if they did…" She turned to Fix. "And now you two are here as it was nothing… she’s brave and she can fight and you are brilliant and all cool a-and I … I was just rubbish".

She sniffed, a bit calmer now. “All I could do was to come up with silly plans and then what? “Blow up something!”

She sniffed again, but this time it sounded more like laughing than crying. “That was funny though. Blow up something. Sure as hell you did…” she said, going directly from tears to laughter.

Fix looked, if anything, more confused. “But you were brave,” they said matter-of-factly, “You went to get Almund all by yourself, and this is your first day off Gallifrey? That’s impressive, we’re not expecting you to be brave.” Fix reached out and awkwardly patted Milly on the shoulder, and smiled.

As soon as they did so, a wrenching, ear-splitting crash wrought through the whole of Matilda, sending them all flying to the ground once again. Matilda was wheezing with the strain of even staying together, and several explosions could be heard far away in the cavernous halls.

“MATILDA!” Fix pulled themself from the floor and rushed to the console, but when they got there they stopped, unsure, “Matilda, what’s wrong? What’s happening?”

The Stranger was lounging in one of Archie’s many pools with a  book open in one hand and several empty whiskey, vodka and ginger ale bottles scattered around. He licked his index finger to turn the page he chuckled at the protagonists vain attempt to operate a rudimentary time travel mechanism when he was jarred from this relaxing stupor by a horrendous screeching noise and the TARDIS seeming to leap several thousand feet to the left then down, followed by the ominous tolling of a large warning bell in the heart of his TARDIS.

He snapped the book shut with a frustrated sigh. Mauve warning lights flashed through out the ship. Muttering obscenities to himself he pulled himself out of the water and pulled on a fluffy pink dressing gown and stomped his way to the console room, fuming.

Throwing open the door he was greeted by a gaping hole in the hull and the howling red maelstrom of the vortex beyond it. For a moment he stood awestruck before leaping to action and seizing the controls and sealing hole. He stood panting for a moment before he noticed the large fridge embedded in the far wall.

”FIX!? IS THAT YOU IN THERE? HOW IN THE NAME OF APERION’S SPIKY COMBAT BOOTS DID YOU MANAGE THAT YOU SHIT?!” He bellowed storming over to the fridge and yanking open the door.

Almund smiled reassuringly and nodded. “They’re right, you know. Everyone starts out rubbish and then gets better with time. It’s how things wor-ahh!” she said, interrupted by the crash as she flew sideways. “Pythia’s curse! What was that?” She looked at the door as it swung open and had to bite back laughter as she caught sight of the Stranger in his bathrobe. “Oh, that’s what it was. There’s a sight I never thought I’d see.” she said, trying to keep a straight face.

Hearing the Stranger’s voice, the first thing that Milly did was to wipe her face dry with her Union Jack t-shirt, trying with little success to conceal the evidence that she’d been crying until a moment ago. This until any thought about her dignity was swept away by the majestic sight of his unusualattire.

"What the actual … uh…" - she looked around in search of an inspiration to match the artistic level of his cursing, but the dressing gown was attracting all of her attention. "What the actual FLUFF are you wearing? And what the fuchsia are you doing out there?”

”What…OUT THERE?” The Stranger spluttered indignantly, ”THIS IS IN HERE YOU’RE IN MY TARDIS HOW…” He took stock of the timelords before him, ”Fuck me what happened to you guys?” he blinked anger giving way to surprise. They were a state. He clambered into the TARDIS clinching the robe tighter around his waist,

”It was a gift.” he muttered. He stalked over to Fix and glared down at them, ”You good kid?” He asked raising an eyebrow, ”Its not like you to do something like this.”

Fix was only a little surprised to see Stranger striding through the doorway. It seemed that whenever he said ‘I’m going on holiday leave me alone’ it really meant ‘I’m going to go sulk on my own and steal a boat you should come up with an excuse for me to come back that doesn’t bruise my ego’.

Fix scowled up at him, folding their arms.

"Nothing happened, just accidentally landed in a slave market. I’m fine." They huffed, at his alarmed look, "It wasn’t me who crashed, it probably was your awful piloting.” They brushed themselves down. “What are you wearing? It looks silly.”

"Yes nothing really" said Milly, stil sitting on the floor. "First Almund got kidnapped, then we were too but we ran, then they put Almund in a cage, poisoned her and sold her as a slave" she listed, counting with her fingers, "so she faked her death but failed, and then we were in a brawl and people walked over me and in the end Fix blew everything up and we escaped, only to crashland here. May it be that Matilda doubts we can look after ourselves after all?"

She paused, looking for a way to skip the part of the tale where she had a breakdown. She looked for the small packet of shrooms on the floor near the door, crawled to it, picked it up and got to her feet to give it to the Stranger. “Also, i brought you a gift” she said.

Almund nodded along as Milly listed their recent adventures, now grinning widely at the combination of the pink robe and his expression. She stood up and came over to them as Stranger received his gift. Almund was curious as to what it could be, but didn’t want to seem nosy.

Fix left to inspect the damage done to the TARDISes, huffing at it and clicking their tongue with concern. Although Archie had taken the brunt of the damage, Matilda had been badly dented and scraped up. The lettered fridge magnets that patterned the front of the ship, though previously was random pieces of alphabet, now spelled ‘O U C H’.

"Poor things…" They sighed, and returned to the other timelords.

"Nothing I can’t fix up," they explained, if a little sadly.

The Stranger had stood agog during this exchange. His face expressionless, he raised his hands in surrender and allowed them to drop to his side and stomped out of Fix’s TARDIS muttering, ” I’m going to put something else on.” He crossed the console room muttering angrily stopping momentarily to pet Archie’s console

”You good?” he asked. there came a low irritated humming noise in reply from somewhere high above him and he sighed, ”Me too buddy.”

Milly turned to Almund: “Their ships. They’re worried for their ships.” she said with a theatrically shocked face. “We’re alive because of dumb luck, lots of it in your case, and not only those two go and pet their ships ,but that freaky pirate didn’t even accept mygift!”

She trotted out of Fix’s TARDIS, following the others. “Hey you two, we are hurt too. We also want cuddles” she complained.

Almund put her arm around her friend and walked out with her. “Typical men, the first order of business is always the Capsule…” she said, a more normal expression on her face. “Poisoned, remember?” Almund said a bit louder, gesturing to herself with a free hand as they came into Archie.

Stranger closed his eyes and sighed, hands resting on the console, ”Technically only one of us is male; and even when I wasn’t I still cared a great deal for my TARDIS.” Archie made a noise like a metallic balloon being let down, ”Shut it you.” Stranger warned, jokingly pointing up at the rotor, ”They’re not just ships you see they’re…what do you mean poisoned?” He blinked in surprise and his eye darted from Milly to Almund to Fix, ”Who’s poisoned? who did the poisoning? what poison?” He gabbled

"In the traditional sense, me, an auctioneer, and aspirin in the order you asked." Almund rattled off, completely deadpan. "He gave me some chocolate afterwards so I’m mostly ok now, but…" she trailed off, making an ‘ick’ face with her tongue out.

"And i got walked over and scared to death. So we deserve some attention too". finished Milly. "Also, gift" she repeated, pushing the small packet near the Stranger’s face.

Fix winced as Milly and Almund recounted their tales. They felt a stab of guilt for their negligence to stop it, all they really did was blow something up to make a distraction, and anyone could do that. They sighed as they walked over to the two little timelords, and begrudgingly (but not really) wrapped an arm each around Almund and Milly, squeezing them.

"I’m sorry I let that happen." They mumbled, "I should have been responsible and stuff."

"Hey, that’s alright. We’re fine in the end, that’s what matters." Almund said consolingly, hugging back. "And you were responsible, albeit for the explosion that got us out of there. That was great!" she told them before turning to Stranger. "You should’ve seen it. Fixy took out a good part of this stage with one shot!"

Fix beamed at them.

"And I’m not a man by the way," Fix pointed out, "So not really a ‘typical man’. Matilda is kind of breakable, I just want to make sure she’s okay after that crash." They winced, "I don’t know how we could have crashed into another TARDIS like that without something going seriously wrong."

Stranger returned wearing his usual antique shirt, green waist coat and trousers with two pistols, one strapped to his hip and the other to his right thigh. He had saw fit to wear some fluffy slippers in the place of his usual high boots. He shrugged,

”We got lucky for once,” He turned to the controls and started to run a full diagnostic scan on the TARDIS,

”Minor exoplamic shell damage on floor five thousand nine hundred and ninety one and some crockery got smashed…Huh besides the hole in the console room which is patched there doesn’t seem to be a lot.” he shrugged and started to plot a course to Earth, ”Home time for you lot I think.”

Tired of the Stranger ignoring her, she dropped the packet of shrooms on Archie’s console.

"Home? Already? Are you really so eager to get rid of us?" she complained.

Almund shrugged. It had been quite a morning (relative time) and in either case the fun would probably continue. On the one hand, she’d go along with the others traveling with Stranger. On the other, there were always the Evangelists to prank back on Earth.

Fix frowned at Stranger.

"But we’ve only just gotten started!" They protested, "We can’t-" They were cut off by a chiming noise coming from their pocket. They pulled out a phone and read the message that had just popped up there:‘Hey nerd. I got a pile of gears who’s purpose is hard to divine with your name on them x’.

"Oooooh…" Fix was torn between staying with the timelords and meeting with their partner. It had been a long time since Fix had seen Knight… ”Something came up,” They said apologetically, tapping out a quick message back. “I’ll meet up with you guys later, but right now I need to see someone.” They played with the ring on their hand absentmindedly.

Stranger waved a hand disinterestedly, ”Fine fi-” He froze instantly, ”Wait is that that Knight priii….person?” he turned slowly and tried to force a smile, ”Sure. Just…Tell him he’s a prat from me ok?” He flipped a switch and the wall where Fix’s TARDIS had embedded itself popped itself back into shape dislodging the ship. He muttered to himself as he worked the console apparently losing interest.

Almund raised an eyebrow, but still smiled as Matilda popped out of Archie’s wall. Whoever this ‘Knight’ was, they had probably done something fairly serious to provoke that kind of reaction when they weren’t even in the room. “What happened with Knight or do I not want to know? Come to think of it, who are they, anyway?” she asked, hoping that she didn’t seem rude or intrusive.

"Wait, you mean there’s another one like you out there? Like, another pennyless space pirate going around crashing into things and trying to look like he knows what he’s doing? And you lot just… exchange treasure maps via SMS or something?"

Milly turned to Almund “Hey, now that I think of it, do you still have your phone, or did they take it from you back on that wretched planet?”

She was thoughtful for a second, than added: “Also, is it really ok that we just ran like that? I mean, there may be.. there most likely are more of us being held captive back in that shithole. Shouldn’t we, i don’t know, do something? Send a word home about the situation at least?”

Stranger slammed a lever angrily and the TARDIS shot five feet to the left, ”Knight is nothing like me! He’s an egotistical, self centered, amoral smeg head who’s only in it for the mon…” The Stranger paused mid rant ”you know what never mind.” he shook his head ,”And what would you tell them back home? From what i recall you don’t have any one back there who’d risk helping you so no one is phoning home about anything.” Stranger growled as the TARDIS engines ground to a halt outside Almund’s home just narrowly missing a parked car and taking the form of an eighteenth century pipe organ,

”Oh very covert there thank you.” he muttered to the console. He looked up at the loomlings and sighed.

”Alright,  I’ll look into it while fix is off…doing…whatever with Knight if it’ll make you happy.” Stranger flipped a switch and the TARDIS doors whirred open. He leaned against the console and folded his arms, ”Just one thing, noone calls home about fucking anything alright? last thing we need are more timelords snooping around.”

"No risk from my side. Even if i tried, I would probably end up calling the wrong Gallifrey… they wouldn’t even have heard of me yet. I think. It’s getting confusing, i swear.”

"I’m not sure I’d be able to, anyway. I get pretty bad reception on Earth. No idea why, I’d always thought it was because Earth’s so remote." Almund said, checking her pockets. "They must have taken the phone when I was unconscious, it’s not here. Sorry, Fix. I’ll be okay, I’ve got an Earth one that’ll substitute, if you want it. A bit of jiggery pokery with Milly’s sonic probe should get it working."

Milly grimaced. “I seriously doubt it, “jiggery pokery” is only second to piloting on my no-no list”. She looked at the smallest scendles buzzing around the “fridge” Mathilda. “Fix may, but me? nah”. She turned to the Stranger again. “Well, i guess that’s it for now then? I just would like to know why. I can’t help but feeling that you are avoiding me for a reason. Is it so? Something about that weird business back home? You see, sooner or later we’ll probably head on wherever those people wanted to send me, Deathwish Lungbarrow here and me. Tell me, if there was something… worriesome you knew about my… i mean our situation, would you let us know?”


	4. Coming out

Milly stared at the empty spot where the pipe organ had been. "Well, well. That's what i'd call an interesting morning." She shrugged and turned to Almund, with a smile. "I don't know what your plans are, but I'm 100% sure mine involve an ice cream cone as tall as Fix."

 

"Then I have the perfect place for you. There’s a soda shop downtown that’s famous for making their own ice cream. And a chocolate fountain. But mostly the ice cream. It’s really good!" Almund said with a smile.

 

Milly’s tummy growled. She thought about her last meal of purple eggs, back in the market, not so long ago. “Too bad I lost those eggs. We could have tried to hatch them”. Now that they were there, safe on Earth, taking a peaceful afternoon stroll, the events of the morning started to look better in her memory. She had the feeling that by evening she would have forgotten the bad parts and would be starting to want some more. “Good thing i managed to save the shrooms. I didn’t have the time to explain what they are to the Stranger, though. I wonder if he’ll discover their effect the hard way” she snickered. “Speaking of which: are you sure you can handle a chocolate fountain without ending up trying to take over the planet?”

Almund laughed slightly and stared to lead Milly downtown. It was only a short walk and the bit of psychic paper she kept hidden down her shirt would serve nicely as a credit card (for better or worse, living in Lungbarrow House had taught her to be wary of theft). “What I wouldn’t give to see that…” she mused, her smile turning into a grin. “It’s not like that, you can buy strawberries or marshmallows to put on weird little forks and dip into the chocolate.”

"Oh!" said Milly, trying to picture the scene in her mind. "Still, i’m a bit worried of what you will come up with when the sugar high strikes."

Seeing Almund digging into her shirt, Milly suddenly grinned and did the same. “Also, guess what i “forgot” to give back to its rightful owner?” she said, fishing Fix’s pendant out from under her uninon flag shirt, where it had been hanging, unseen. “This pretty thing can apparently make you look like whatever your victim expects to see… it brings our dreams of conquest  to a whole new level!”

"I’ll be the first to admit that I go a bit loopy when I eat chocolate, but I know I’m stuck here for another ten months. I’ll restrain myself." Almund said a little reluctantly. Her expression perked up significantly when Milly brought out Fix’s pendent. "Ooh, hello. This is going to be fantastic! We’ll put that to good use." she enthused.

Quite soon after that, Almund and Milly reached the soda shop. It was fairly large, considering it was sandwiched between a shoe shop and an Italian-style bistro on the corner. All the stores on the street had awnings, and the one over the ice cream parlor was colorful and bright. Inside there was a candy counter against one wall and a soda bar along the opposite one. Various tables and chairs were set up around a large chocolate fountain that had been set in the center of the room.

Milly’s jaw dropped. She stared in awe at all those colourful and sugary temptations. “I want everything.” she said.

The shop was almost empty, with a pair of customers already sitting at the bar and a solitary joung guy that was taking ages to chose what to eat and drink. Milly forced herself to be patient, copying his actions as closely as she could without having him wonder why she was acting like that. She hoped that Fix’s pendant would give her some advantage, maybe by making her look to the humans like that one frequent customer which name was just slipping out of their mind for some reason.

It looked like it was working, as she finally managed to land at a table, with a giant ice cream bowl, garnished with whipped cream, chocolate and almond crumbles and coloured syrups that smelled a bit chemical but intriguing nonetheless and a tall glass of something colourful and fizzy).

"Did I do everything right?" she asked, as they sat down.

Almund was already sitting down, sipping a bright green drink. Her sundae was significantly less colorful, but no less sugary (two scoops each of chocolate and vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce over the vanilla and marshmallow sauce over the chocolate). “Very good for your first time.” she complimented, digging in with gusto. “And the best part is that you pay when you leave. It encourages customers to buy more, and the more you buy, the more deals you get. Like buy one get one free, that sort of thing.”

The couple who were sitting at the bar exchanged a look and started whispering to each other in the sort of fake whisper that isn’t talking normally, but is still audible to everyone around them. “Greed and Gluttony are sins, aren’t they Jacob?” the woman asked. The man next to her nodded, looking daggers at Almund and Milly. “Deadly ones, Rebeccah.” he replied. Almund rolled her eyes, saying “I like to whisper too.” back at them before explaining to Milly. “Jakey and Becca are those ones I told you about earlier.”

Milly was digging into her ice cream with both greedand gluttony. She was intrigued by the way the single flavours, which were already good on their own, could be combined to obtain a whole range of results, that went from meh to awesome without any predictable relation to the yumminess of the components.“Mhphf!” she answered, her mouth full of ice cream. She swallowed before trying to talk again. “You mean the ones you said that were into the occult?” she said out loud, not bothering to whisper nor to avoid staring openly at the couple.

Almund tried and failed to bite back laughter at the looks of shock and horror on Rebeccah’s and Jacob’s faces. “No, those are the other ones. Jakey and Becca are rather devout Christians.” she said, adding “Christians believe that just because one guy got nailed to a tree over 2,000 years ago and somebody said that it didn’t kill him, everyone should think that he was a God.” in Gallifreyan under her breath. “I tried telling them about the Menti Celesti, but they said I needed Jesus.” Almund finished, switching back to English.

The combination of the alien language and mentioning Gallifreyan deities seemed to set off Jacob and Rebeccah. They stood up and walked over to stand imposingly in front of Almund and Milly. Almund looked defiantly up at them and took a big bite of her ice cream without blinking or breaking eye contact.

Milly got up with an icecream smeared smile and offered her hand to shake. “Hello people, my name is Milly, nice to meet you! Please do tell me more about your creed, i’m so very interested!” she said, unironically.

They looked at her like she was trying to hand them a dead rat. “Milly… Such a childish nickname. Why don’t you tell us your real name, sweetie?” Rebeccah asked, smiling in a sickly-sweet manner. Almund rolled her eyes and kept eating. Jacob scowled at her and she ignored him.

"Oh yes it’s childish indeed, I keep telling my friends the same thing but no, they stick to it no matter how hard I try." she explained cheerfully, not noticing the cold reaction at all, now that the sugars were starting to kick in. "I would rather be called Millennia, that’s the one I chose, but no, ‘too grand for you’ they say. What a bunch of dorks. And you? Did you get to chose Rebecca and Jacob or are they just your birth names?"

"Millennia?" Rebeccah asked, obviously skeptical. "Millennia isn’t a name, it’s a term straight out of a science textbook." Almund raised an eyebrow. "That’d be a history textbook, one Millennia is a thousand years. And anyway, it’s a cool name. Just because it wasn’t in your Bible doesn’t make it not nice." she said, pointing her spoon across the table at the pair. "They had a tough time believing mine as well." Jacob sighed impatiently. "Almunde-what-a-who-sits isn’t a real name!" he insisted. "OK, first of all, it’s Almundenciturnalismas, and whether or not you think it’s a name, it’s mine so back off. They’re just jealous because they have boring names."

"Oh wow! That’s a cool name." Milly smiled to Almund. She felt a little guilty not telling hers, but she had always wanted to keep her birth name secret like her questionable role models did, and now that she was off the planet, for the first time she could and she didn’t want to spoil the fun so soon. "Sure it’s not a name" she said to the humans, "It’s a nickname, i just told you. A nickname I chose. Not a very lucky one, i have to admit, the one that used it before didn’t end well" - she glanced sideways at Almund, realising too late she may have just let slip a major spoiler - "but she was cool. She liked science, just like me. So it’s cool."

She stopped for another spoonful of icecream, then started again: “I fraking love science. Maths more than anything. You see, the world, the universe i mean…” - as the sugar rush grew stronger, Milly’s control over her words and thoughts grew weaker - ” many say it makes no sense. It’s just there, they say, just a mess of chaos and causality. But me…” her eyes had the typical, borderline-insane brightness of any Timelord allowed to rant on his object of fapiron - “me, I know it’s not like that. I know there’s… not an order, no. But an harmony. In the cosmos. Out there. And also in here. From the smallest subatomic components to the immensity of the multiverse. And I feel that the key to touch that harmony is mathematical in its nature. And that’s amazing…” - something in Almund’s expression made her suspect she had ranted too much.

"Don’t you think?" she finished.

Jacob and Rebeccah looked at each other and then back at Milly. “God Almighty created the world, so of course everything is in harmony to everything else—or it would be if the heretics all went away. The world is beautiful because it was created by Him, not because of fractions or ratios.”

Almund rolled her eyes, faking a sneeze whenever they mentioned God just to mess with them. “Do you have a cold or are you a servant of Satan?” Rebeccah asked pointedly, making Almund laugh. She didn’t usually laugh in public on a sugar high because she had the tendency to use her vocal cords in the wrong place (i.e. when taking in breath instead of when forcing it out) and it made a creepy high-pitched screech. “Don’t be ridiculous, the Master isn’t due to arrive until sundown.” Almund replied, completely serious, but winked at the girl working behind the counter. They had discovered that they liked quite a few of the same things, trolling and the occult being two of the main ones. She had been there when Almund had discovered Easter candy, and several weeks later, the pair were fast friends.

"Wait, what?" Milly almost choked on her ice cream. "You mean my cousin? How do you know he’ll be called… oh!" she said, realizing her mistake. Ok, she had definitely overestimated her ability to handle sugars. Things may be about to get weird. It wasn’t that she couldn’t control what she said, it was more like she didn’t care to. "Oh, you just mean Satan! This evening you say? How interesting. I’ve never seen a Daemon in person.” She turned to the humans, excited. “Have you?”

Rebeccah and Jacob went white as two sheets at the casualness of everyone when (the pair thought) they were talking about evil incarnate. “No, we haven’t, and we certainly don’t want to!” they said, sounding horrified at the thought. Almund shrugged. “It’s a good thing you most certainly aren’t invited out to the woods later today.” she said, draining her green drink and going up to the counter for a refill. She came back a few moments later with what looked suspiciously red and thick (just a cherry coke with extra cherry syrup, but she was the only one who knew that) in a Ball jar. Without breaking eye contact, she flipped the top open and licked it clean. “Want some?” Almund asked Milly, offering the jar to her.

"The woods?" she asked, "You mean lots of lots of plants all together? That’s… great? I think?"

She inspected the jar Almund was offering her. “I’m not really sure i want more of that. I’m already feeling weird and you know well enough the two of us should go easy on this stuff. Unless we don’t want to, but then who knows what could happen? You do remember how you become if you overdo, don’t you?”

Her eyes sparkled with a rather ominous light as she recalled Almund’s adventures in sugarland.

Almund nodded and brought the jar back to take a sip from it. “It’s alright, I’m not going to have it all now. We have to save a bit for later, anyway.” she said, completely ignoring the gaping looks Jacob and Rebeccah were giving her. Almost as if to top it off, her translator started acting up, so parts of her conversation with Milly was in English, and parts of it were in Gallifreyan. “The girl [behind the counter, Janet,] knows a lot about [the occult in human society] and its rituals, like [going out among the plants] because most of [their demons are nature-based] spirits and she’ll be able to help us [scare these two]. Where are you going?” she asked, looking over to see Rebeccah and Jacob halfway out the door. “We’re going to a prayer meeting!” they called back, practically running away.

When the God Squad were gone, Janet came over from behind the counter, holding back a laugh. “That was great, the looks on their faces! What language was that, though?” she asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

"Hey, hello, nice to meet you too" cheered Milly, barely noticing the quick escape of the two christians. "Oh that was Gall… Gaelic?" she tried as a last minute save, blessing her incomplete but  varied  knowledge of 20th century Great Britain. "Sounds nice, doesn’t it?" She glanced at Almund, hoping to get advice on how to handle the situation. "Almund was telling me you are some kind of… ritual specialist? How do you call that? I didn’t even know you had any here on … in America?"

Janet nodded understandingly. “I know how you feel. I used to practice my Latin in study hall until Mrs. Fielding told me to stop chanting.” she said, shaking her head. “Honestly… You say ‘diabolus’ once and everyone freaks out… But anyway, what’s going on in the woods tonight?” she asked, putting her elbows on the table and leaning forward. Almund came a bit closer as well with a somewhat-manic smile on her face. “Nothing much, Milly and I were going to screw with Rebeccah and Jacob  and I wondered if you wanted to be in on the joke.” she said with an air of confidentiality. Janet’s smile grew to match Almund’s. “You know I do. Anything to get back at that pair… So, what did you have in mind? I’ve been around the block a few times, so I can make everything look real.”

A dangerous thought crossed Milly’s mind. She checked the shop to see if it was empty, and was disappointed to spot a lonely teenager looking a bit lost in front of the candy dispensers.

"We could make it look more thanreal” she said, half to herself. She looked at Janet for a while, pensive, then at Almund, than at Janet again. “So. You two are friends, right?” she asked the human. “And exactly how much has Almund told you about her… special interests?”

Now, that was a curious effect the sugar high was having on her. She didn’t feel confused or drunk, she actually felt quite aware. More than the usual. Only nothing really seemed to be completely real. It was like watching herself act from some point behind her own shoulder. Like it was all a game someone else was playing. And again, like in the market a few hours ago, she wondered: was it really the effect of what she ate, or something else altogether?

She stared at Almund, somehow both dead serious and eerily playful: “Should we?” she asked, projecting a visual image directly to the friend’s mind: it was a simple static picture of the three of them, standing in a close circle in some hidden place outside, talking. The human in the picture had a shocked face; the two gallifreyans were smiling.

"Should we what?" asked Janet.

Milly kept staring at Almund, waiting for an answer.

"She did her research paper on the effects of the Druids on ancient Irish culture and things kinda took off from there." Janet said with a quirky little half smile. "At the time I thought it was a bit odd that you’d know so much about them, but that was before I realized where you were from. Still, it’s a bit nutty how much you know about this sort of thing." [Gallifrey, Ireland, Kasterborous County] Almund explained before Milly could question it. "We’re pretty close, I’d say." she added out loud to fill the silence that would have been left by the telepathic exchange.

Almund nodded, the grin never slipping. “Let’s.” she said, before turning to a confused Janet. “What do you mean ‘more than real’?” the latter asked, and Almund replied “It’d be easier to show you. What’s behind the shop?” “An alley, why?” “You’ll see in a minute.”

Out back, as promised, was a deserted alley. Janet leaned up against the wall. “So, what’s so special that we had to come out here?”

"If you were to witness something a bit… more than weird, could you promise you won’t scream?" Milly asked, all serious.

Janet let out a small giggle, unsure if she had to feel nervous: “Yes why… I’ve seen my share of weird anyway”.

"Ok then, just…ok." said Milly. "Tell me: do you notice anything peculiar about my appearence?"

"Your… no. Not at all. Should I?"

"No, you shouldn’t. If you were to describe me to someone else, what words would you use?"

Janet stared at her for a few moments, trying to identify any trait that could stick to her memory. “I… I’m not sure. Normal, i would say. You just couldn’t look more normal. There’s nothing that sticks out, at all. You’re just… a girl?”

"And now?" Milly said, with a wide grin, as she pulled away Fix’s pendant, suddenly leaving Janet free to see her real looks.

 

"Whoa." Janet said, her eyes widening as her brain properly processed Milly’s appearance for the first time. She wasn’t anything like Janet had expected her to be. "I’m guessing that necklace-y thing had something to do with it." Almund nodded. "Very good. It’s a perception filter, you only saw what you expected to see. And before you ask, yes, it’s like the ones in Doctor Who." she said as Janet opened her mouth. "Wait, you mean Doctor Who’s real? I’m not dreaming, am I?"  Almund smiled. "A good portion of it, yes. How familiar are you with Time Lord biology?" she asked, digging around in a pocket and bringing out a stethoscope.

"May the merciful gods of the fourth wall bless your lunatic meddling cousin" muttered Milly. The funny thing, she thought, was how similar this situation made her to the human girl. Well, at least there would have been less explaining to do.

—

A few blocks away, Jacob and Rebeccah were talking excitedly.

"It’s exactly how the new Pastor said!" she was saying. "Everything he’s told us to look out for! That’s them!"

"I don’t know" said Jacob, "they’re just people. Heretics, yes, but unholy … things? We’re not supposed to believe in such… stuff. What if the Pastor was putting our faith to test with bullshit?”

"They were drinking blood." stated Rebeccah, matter-of-factly. "And that Almund. I’ve touched her hand, in PE, last week. We’d been exercising for half an hour, and her skin was cold! Just like the Pastor said. We must tell him!”

"But we can’t bother him! Not now, not with the Lord’s Supper drawing near! He’d let us out of the inner synod!"

"It’s not like he was going to pick us anyway" she noted, "he clearly thinks we’re not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Unless we impress him somehow. And this may just be our chance. Maybe it’s the Lord testing our faith, have you thought abot it?"

"I don’t know. It would make sense but… I’ve got a bad feeling about this." he mumbled.

Almund tossed Janet the stethoscope and gestured toward Milly. “She’s a Time Lord?” Janet asked, putting the earpieces in. “Newblood Time Lady, when she graduates from The Academy, but essentially, yes. It’s easier to show this way, she already has both her hearts.” Almund replied, handing the end of the stethoscope to Milly so she could position it on her chest. Janet’s eyes widened as she heard a steady heartbeat where there definitely shouldn’t be. “That’s amazing!”

"Isn’t it?" cheered Milly. "So" enquired Janet, "all that rant about the BBC coming up with the name for Gallifrey by playing darts with a map of the Uk was…."

"That cement mixer of bullshit that’s Almund brain on sugar, yep" finished Milly for her.

"So you’re both… eight hundred or something?" asked Janet, a bit taken aback.

"I’m eighty-nine" admitted Milly, for the first time. For some reason, speaking openly with that alien, so much younger than them and still so seemingly equal, made all her attempts to look older and important feel pointless.

"And you’re here plotting pranks against the bigots instead of out there saving the universe because…?"

"…because we’re kids."

Milly’s phone rang.

"What now?" she muttered, clicking the answer button. "Hey, where…" she stopped half sentence, realizing it was just a voicemail. It was a short one. She clicked to end the call and dropped the phone back into her pocket. "Looks like the kid want their toy back" she said to Almund. "And by the sound of it, they may also need some support…"

"A hundred and seventeen for me. I’m here for a school project, and she was doing archive work and somehow ended up here." Almund put in with a little shrug. She still didn’t really know why Milly was with her on Earth, but she sure wasn’t complaining.

Almund nodded when Milly said that Fix wanted the pendent back. “We can do it without the filter. Although, it’s pretty close to sunset and they have a time machine…” she said, thinking out loud.

Milly’s phone bleeped again.

[text] Do fjkdfhkdjfgkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[text] Sorry about that, I’ve killed it now.

[text] I’ve put a homing signal on it, just do the thing with your deelybopper

[text] Your doobly thing that goes buzz

[text] Sorry I thin k I think the thing that bit me was venomous ssss

 

"Oh shit"

Milly’s jaw fell gradually as she read on. She pushed the phone in front of Almund’s face.

"This is not good. This is SO not good".

 

Almund looked at the phone for a few seconds before the information sank in. “Oh. OH! Ohh… Well, they’ll be fine. Probably. I mean, not all venom kills…” she said, saying thoughts as they came through her mind. Janet cleared her throat to get their attention. “I’m no expert, but venom’s not usually a good thing. Shouldn’t we see if they’re okay, whoever they are?” she asked, frowning slightly in concern. “Good point.” Almund replied. “If it’s affected their speech centers, it’s most likely not a nice venom. All the same, we don’t have any way of getting to them, we don’t have a capsule. Still, stranger things have happened… That’s it! Stranger! We can let his Cousin know about it, he’s got the knowledge and transport.”

"Is she… enojoying this?” asked Janet. “Hard to tell” Milly answered. “Maybe a bit. She’s not evil though. I think. She’s just… Almund. Actually I’m still trying to understand how her brain works myself. And yes” - she said, this time to Almund - “I think that’s the best solution. Any workaround i can think of would require… well, Fix themselves to tinker with stuff and such. So no good.  Ok, let’s do it.”

"Let’s do what?" asked the human, even more curious.

"First, I’m sending their cousin an SMS… a cousin is something like… well, any kind of relative, actually. With any kind of age gap. For instance, that Doctor bloke which inspired your movies is her cousin” - she pointed to Almund. “As for mine… you’ve probably heard of “the Master”, right?” (this one last part was just to make an impression).

"There, sent" she said, before putting back the phone and fishing from the same pocket her sonic probe.

"You even have a screwdriver?"

"You can bet on it!" she giggled. "Now, the instruction weren’t very clear, thanks to whatever bit the mini-scendle, and i’m no genius, but i guess a basic activation signal…" - she pointed the device at the pendant, dangling from her other hand - "… should work."

Milly activated the probe and hoped for the best.

Janet looked from Almund to Milly and  back again. “You’re related to the Doctor? And you’re related to the Master? It must be like Academy Era stuff, except hopefully without the turn-against-each-other-and-carry-a-grudge part…”  she said, in a bit shock.

"What was that last bit?" Almund asked as Milly sent the message. "The Doctor and the Master. They used to be friends and now they’re enemies." Janet explained. Almund nodded. "I see. Sort of. I haven’t seen those episodes and it hasn’t happened in my time stream. I bet it was Mortimus, the little pigrat…" she added under her breath.

When Milly activated her probe, the pendent glowed softly before disappearing in a flash of very white light, leaving Almund blinking like a camera flash had just gone off. “Yipes… Well, there goes the easiest way to make a convincing prank. It’ll be fine, though.”

"Aren’t you at least a bit worried about them?" Janet asked, still a bit concerned. "Yeah, a bit, but there isn’t anything we can do about it at the moment, and they’re the type to be able to take care of themselves." Almund replied with a nod.

"Better then us anyway. And uhm, yes actually, i may have left that part out a bit."She smiled apologetically at Almund ”By my time Koshei and Theta may have lost a bunch of lives to each other, occasionally taking down entire planets in the process. Some think they’re just rasing the stakes of their youth games, but still the body count is remarkable. I know i keep leaving out the most worriesome parts, but I promise I won’t backstab you in your sleep.”

She turned to the human: “Besides, among the two of us, the craziest one is definitely not me. ” she shrugged.

"Speaking of which: what’s the plan?"

"Kos has a body count…?" Almund looked surprised when Milly said that the Master was Koschei. He had always seemed like a sweet little boy, albeit with killer headaches, and he and Wormhole had seemed like such fast friends… Obviously, something major happened between when she had last seen them and Milly’s time. "Well, I promise not to kill you too, so we’re even. I was thinking that we could go out to the woods and pretend to turn you into a vampire." she said, directing the last bit at Janet. "I know you’ve got fake teeth, and I could hypnotize the God Squad so they’re even more convinced."

"That’s awesome. Well, a tiny bit on the blasphemous side, but awesome. Just hope they don’t get news of this back home, that would not look good on your records, miss Stoker!" Milly squinted at the sky, a delighted grin on her face, as her brain produced and discarded several different plans at once. Right now, Janet found it pretty easy to believe in her being related to the Master.

"Yes. Yes it may work. We could offer them the whole Anne Rice experience. Only thing, wouldn’t they find it strange that we were out in the sun today?"

"They only saw you indoors" pointed out Janet. "For what they know, you may have been hiding in our freezer cell all the time. And besides, I seriously doubt their knowledge of the genre goes too far beyond the Twilight movies. Assuming they were rebellious enough to watch them at all."

"Right" said Milly, still ruminating. "And how do we make sure they’ll come to the woods to spy on us?"

"I may persuade them" offered Janet. "Pretend to be having a crisis of conscience, going to them for spiritual advice. You know, a last call for help before the turning. Something like that. They would never resist the urge to save my little blasphemous soul".

Milly stared at Janet, then at Almund. “Seriously girl!” she said, “Where did you find her? She’s scary!”

Almund hesitated a second before shrugging. “Nothing’ll be on my record if we don’t get caught, and we won’t. It’s not like Borusa is waiting in the shadows to grab us by the ear and take us home.” she pointed out with a grin to match Milly’s.

"Good idea. Their sense of right and wrong will bring them, and then we can say that they came of their own free will if anybody tries anything." she said, looking around to make sure they were alone. "So, I’ll meet you two in the woods behind my house in… about an hour?" Janet asked, looking up at the sky to see how close to sunset it was.

"Sounds good to me." Almund replied. "That’ll give us time to set up."

Milly watched the human as she walked away, a bit worried. “Do you think she’ll resist the urge to tell everything to some other geek friend? I would never want to blow your cover. I don’t care much about being discovered myself, i can always pick a random destination from my ring and goodbye Earth, but you would get into some serious trouble. And i’m quite sure ruining the interstellar exchange program is NOT among the purposes of my mission, whatever it is.”

She checked her phone. “No answers from the two scendles. I hope they’re both all right. It doesn’t feel nice not to know”.

Almund nodded, her expression a bit calmer now. “I think so.” she agreed. “She isn’t the type to go blurting people’s secrets. As for Fix and Stranger, if there was a way we could get to them in time, I’d be the first person to sign up. We can really only hope for the best in this case.” she said seriously.

"In any case, it’s best not to dwell on what we can’t change. All that’ll do is stress us out, imagining the worst. We have to change into dark clothes and get the jar of cherry coke out to Janet’s house." Almund said, starting to walk down the alley to the street that would take them back to her apartment.

Rebeccah poured some more ice tea in Janet’s glass. Jacob covered his own with a hand, to signal he didn’t want any more. His stomach was closed in a tight knot. He wondered how his friend could be handling the whole situation with such ease, while all he could do was mentally repeat a prayer to keep his brain from running away from his skull.

"So, you don’t know exactly what, but you feel something bad will happen to you tonight" she repeated, in that soft, caring voice that always made Janet cringe. "In the woods. And you want our help."

Janet nodded, and Rebeccah shot Jacob a told-you look.

"Yes but…" he tried to object "It doesn’t necessarily mean something… unholy is going on, does it? Not if you told us everything…"

"But have you?" asked Rebeccah to their guest, her tone now less caring and a bit more accusing. "Have you told us everything, dear child?"

"I’m sorry. I was depressed, I couldn’t see a way out, and they offered one." Janet said, pretending to be ashamed and drank the (admittedly rather good) iced tea. "Now I see how wrong I was to take this idea so far… But maybe you can help them too! They’re not bad people, not deep down. Maybe you can save them too!" she said, an almost pleading look in her eyes. That acting class she had taken in her Freshman year really paid off. "They said they were going to meet me at my house at sunset…" she trailed off, leaving the ‘so you should come too’ understood, but unsaid.

Rebeccah nodded, a reassuring smile on her face. Inside, she was exulting. For the first time in her life, she could live up to the - admittedly unrealistic - moral standards she had set for herself. She was marginally aware that feeling so exilerated was probably not completely right, and that seing herself in the shoes of the paladin with a flaming sword was probably a sin of pride, but she couldn’t help herself. Jacob looked a little less convinced, but that was not a surprise to her. He’d always been a bit of a chicken. Also she strongly suspeted he jacked off in the school’s bathrooms sometimes, so it wasn’t strange if his faith were to falter when faced to the risk of actually walking through the valley of the shadow.

"Don’t worry darling" she said, "we will be following you from a short distance, wherever you’ll be going".

"Couldn’t she just… not go?" objected Jacob. "Or call the police. Those new age cults are more their field than ours. Full of pedophiles and fags. And communists. That sort of things".

Rebeccah shot him a look that could have killed a stone gargoyle. “You know full well they wouldn’t believe a single word. At the very best, they’d forward the file to the social services and make sad faces in front of a camera next time some kid gets sacrificed or eaten or worse. Don’t you even watch Fox News?”

Janet put down the empty cup, looking relieved. “Thank you so much for this. I really feel a lot better about the whole affair.” she said, looking at her watch. It was nearly the time for them to meet at her house. “It’s almost the time we agreed on.”

"Go then, darling" said Rebeccah, "And may the Lord look after you. We certainly will".

After Janet was gone, Rebeccah ran to the phone, a determined look on her face. “I’m not sure about this” complained Jacob.

"You already said that twelve times today. Please grow a pair".

"Are you really going to call him? What if he gets pissed?"

"Yes I am. No he won’t. Now would you please shut up a minute?"

"Whatever" he muttered, taking the empty glasses back to the kitchen.

"Thank you again." Janet nodded, looking relieved. She stood up and left to go home.

At her house, a rather large and imposing Victorian one, Almund and Milly were coming out of the woods behind it. They had brought an extra jar of cherry coke to stash in some gnarly old tree roots along with some paper towels for cleaning up with afterwards and three sets of fake vampire teeth for the big finish. “Now, I’m going to sneak around the front of the house to catch Rebecca and Jacob and hypnotize them. Could you stand over by the other side of the house to draw them that way and I’ll come around behind.” Almund said in the sort of tone of voice that would accompany an official briefing a secret agent.

"No need to take risks here in the open" said Janet. "I made sure they’ll willingly follow us to the forest".

"Even better" Milly gloated, fully into the game (and pretending to be her cousin a bit, just to make it funnier). "Are you sure they’ll come alone?"

"They’re not bringing the police, if that’s what you’re worried about. They may have called in a bigger brother or something, but i doubt they had the time."

"Right" pondered Milly. "Almund, what do you think?"

"Sounds great! I’ve put the coke, towels, and teeth by that one tree you said you used to have a house in." Almund said, sending Milly a picture of a tree house telepathically. "Even if they end up bringing someone else, I’ll be able to handle them. I’ve always done well in telepathy and Kos showed me some tricks a few spans before I left Gallifrey. Worse comes to worst, I’ll be able to handle whatever they can throw at us." she said confidently.

The mention of Koschei stirred Milly’s pride. She looked around to make sure their pursuers weren’t too near, then concentrated hard on a short sequence of pictures,  not unlike what humans called a “gif”. It showed a cartoony version of Almund getting blown up like a balloon. She aimed the picture at the human and shot it with all her strenght. This was the telepathic equivalent  in terms of manners of shouting in a library, and back home it would have made all the people in the block cringe and let out comments about the decline of modern youth. Still it was barely enough to get through: though humans had the potential to be a weakly telepathic race, as a matter of facts they evolved so far in the opposite direction to deserve to be classified together with plants in the strict - if not snobbish - gallifreyan grammar.

It wasn’t a block of disdainful timelords that cringed at her shout. It was something quite a lot worse.

Almund grinned, having caught the telepathic equivalent of a glimpse of Milly’s message. Janet, who got it full in the face, cringed slightly from the headache it brought, but laughed when she understood what the faint pictures were. “What was that? …Was that you? Did you send that?” she asked, slightly in awe. Janet understood the bare-bones basic theory of telepathy, but hadn’t ever seen the theory put into practical experience.

"Yup. Useful, isn’t it? Too bad our people are so uptight about it. There’s a whole set of rules about what is and isn’t convenient and an etiquette so strict it’s tiresome. Also, don’t even try to learn our language without taking it into account. Like trying to speak chinese without the tones. And yes, telepathic modifiers may actually have been added to our grammar more to annoy aliens than for their real utility."

She giggled. “Long story short, we’re a bunck of jerks.”

Her phone bleeped cheerfully. “Oh look, a message… i hope it’s… YES!” Milly showed the phone to her friends with a wide smile.

[sms from milly] still alive? bit worried. “yes” or “no” will suffice

[text] mmmfine

[text] strangerss here, he says hi

[text] actually he’s saying fucking hell fix what did you do??? but he means hi

"Speaking of jerks, looks like the scendles are ok after all. So, are we there yet?"

"Yikes…" Janet said, thinking it made sense now that when Almund occasionally lapsed into the strange language she had always assumed was Gallic had occasional pauses, probably for the telepathic modifiers. "Well, if is an  alien language. I can’t say I’m surprised about something from a different planet being quite a bit different from its Earth counterpart."

Almund let out a sigh of relief when Milly showed the SMS. “That’s a weight off.” she said, glad that Fix’s predicament wouldn’t be in the back of her mind. “Nearly there. Once the God Squad are in the forest, I’ll hypnotize them and the fun can begin.” Almund replied, looking back at how far away Rebeccah and Jacob were. She hid behind a tree and motioned for Milly and Janet to keep walking forward.

As soon as Rebeccah and Jacob set foot in the trees, Almund was there between them. “And sleep. That’s it. Stay standing now… Good. Just concentrate on my voice… So. When I clap my hands, you won’t remember any of this. You won’t remember being hypnotized and whatever you see being acted out in front of you, you’ll believe. It doesn’t matter how badly it’s acted, you’ll use your imagination to flesh it out.” she said, putting her hands on their foreheads and projecting her thoughts to whomever else they had brought along with them. When she had finished speaking, Almund carefully took her hands away, made sure that everyone was where they had been before she had come at them, and caught up with Janet and Milly, where she clapped her hands loudly enough to be heard at the forest’s edge.

The Pastor followed  his adepts from a safe distance as they entered that lame excuse for a forest. He was puzzled. He had expected this road trip to be a waste of time, or at the very most to find a clueless couple of young ones, stupid enough to come and play Dracula in his territory. But the signals he’d been getting - first that loud, silly picture from the smallest one, and then that wannabe stealthy scan from the other… he couldn’t tell what that meant. Yet. He didn’t have much experience himself. But he was intrigued.

He followed the two groups until they came to a halt in a small clearing - the three “suspects” theatrically disposed under a big, suggestive looking dead tree, and his two young acolytes (badly) hidden behind a tree stump. He found a better hiding spot behind a small groove of bushes, from which he could watch without being seen. An achievement, this, that the two humans couldn’t claim for their own.  

Things were about to get interesting.

Janet stepped into the clearing just as Almund and Milly came out from behind a tree on the far side. “So, you have decided to come after all. You have made the right choice, Janet.” Almund said, trying not to move her lips too far apart so they wouldn’t reveal her fake teeth just yet.

"There’s nothing for me in this life. My family hates me, you’re my only friend at school, and I can’t have a social life because if my grades slip any further my mom’ll flay me alive." Janet explained, sniffling a little for effect. Almund came up to her and put her arms around Janet in a way that would have been comforting, had anyone else done it. "And you’ll be willing to give it all up for a life of darkness and blood?" she verified. Janet gestured to her all-black wardrobe and said "What do you think?"

"You fully relinquish your mortal bonds?"

"I do."

"Then on your head be it."

Milly fought the urge to giggle, as she exchanged glances with Almund to synchronize the revelation of their fangs.

A small, whiny sound from a few steps away rewarded their efforts. “Wait, my sister! We have intruders” she said, bending down in what she hoped would look like a beast-like combat stance. “Come out, my sweet pumpkins. We’re not going to hurt you… if you don’t run. Come out, come out, wherever you are!” she chanted.

She glanced at her accomplices, to make sure they weren’t laughing yet.

To her surprise, Jacob actually got out of his “hiding place”, hands raised, like she was pointing a gun at him. Rebeccah tried to pull back down, revealing herself too in the attempt.

"Janet my dear" she told the new human friend with a wide, toothed smile, "looks like fate has provided you with a nice little first dinner. How convenient…"

"Two of them… so plenty to share…" Almund added, licking her lips absent-mindedly. "Do let’s hurry up, sister…" she whined. "The night is young, there is much to teach, and I am so,so thirsty…” she said, running her tongue over her teeth.

*Clap. Clap. Clap.*

A third person came out from the bushes, clapping his hands in a slow, mocking applause. “Good! Amazing! Bravo!” he cheered.

Jacob and Rebeccah turned to him, eyes glowing with hope and relief. The Pastor was a tall, sleek man, with a clean suite and a trust-inspiring smile. “I wouldn’t say oscar-worthy, but still fairly accurate.”

Milly glanced at Almund, hoping for any suggestion. When none came, she decided to improvise. She visualized herself as a true Great Vampire, letting her mind plunge as deep as she could into character - the badass full-goth outfit she had dug out of Almund’s wardrobe helped - adding in early childhood memories of hearing stories about the ancient enemy, and then being unable to sleep afterwards.

And then when she felt ready, she projected the resulting image to the newcomer with all her strenght, like she had done before with Janet.

The pastor’s eyes widened and his jaw fell. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “Oh dear Lord! So that’s what you are!”

Milly looked up to Almund again, her face unmistakingly saying “Oh fuck i fucked up”.

The pastor shook his head, like to clear up his mind. “This is so weird. Of all things i could have expected… from which decrepit legend have you crawled back out, ladies?”

"They are vampires- the… the real thing." Janet tried to help.

"Oh no, they’re not" said the Pastor, baring a pair of canines that made their fake ones look like marshmellows. "I am."

"Just a little place we like to call home." Almund replied ambiguously. "Yeah, you got us: we’re not real vampires." she admitted, taking out the fake teeth. "We were a bit bored and thought we’d pull a prank." Almund said, moving forward towards the Great Vampire. She was fascinated, never having seen one before. Her instincts were screaming at her to get away as fast as possible, but her fapiron for other species was quickly winning. "Funny thing, I thought the Great Vampires had died out in the Time of Rassilon. So what are you doing here…?" Almund mused, thinking out loud again. Her instinct made a comeback and she took a step away, toward Rebeccah and Jacob, who were presumably still in her trance. "But, I’m sure you’re a very busy vampire and we’re rather busy too. So, I’m afraid it’s time for us all to WAKE UP!" she said, yelling the last two at the top of her lungs both out loud and telepathically, hoping to at least daze the vampire while she slapped the two humans, bringing them out of the trance. "Run! I’ll take care of these two! Just get out of here!"

"No!" screamed Milly, "We must split up! He’ll come after…" she didn’t finish the sentence. After a moment of confusion caused by Almund’s telepathic shout (which had probably done more damage to Milly than to him) it had taken the vampire half a second to decide it was more rewarding to run after the closest three, that were trying to stick together, then to waste time after Janet and her.

Milly cursed: considering that old accident with the Mile Run at school - and the fact she was trying to get two panicked humans to move - Almund didn’t stand a chance.

She spat out the fake teeth. “I’m going after them. You don’t have to follow” she told Janet, before running after the vampire (ignoring a hail of colourful insults from the more reasonable side of her own brain).

Janet remained frozen on the spot for what felt like eternity. Then, slowly, she started to walk in the same direction, feeling like she wasn’t walking at all.

Rebeccah and Jacob reeled backwards, which Almund used to pull them backwards. “Go! We need to go now!” she said, looking back and paling slightly. She said something in Gallifreyan (which her translator conveniently skipped over, censoring her) and pushed them ahead of her. “Run!” she yelled, spurring them on. Usually, the God Squad wouldn’t do anything Almund told them to, but her tone of voice, expression, and the fact that she was telling them to run for their lives made this the one exception.

Too soon, Almund felt a stitch in her side and each breath started to burn more and more as her endurance ran out. “You two… go on ahead… I’ll give you more time…” she managed to force out, letting go of their hands and slowing down to gasp in air.

"Will you now" said the Pastor, reaching her in two agile running steps, and lifting her by the collar of her studded, black leather jacket like a kitten. "Legends say the blood of your kind is remarkably tasty. I guess i’m about to find out…"

Milly arrived running, only to see the vampire’s teeth getting unconfortably near to Almund’s neck.

"Stop!" she screamed, making it up as she went. "You don’t want to bite her."

The vampire turned towards her, pulling his fangs a bit farther from Almund’s neck. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asked.

"Because… because we’re surrounded! You are."

"Am I?"

"Yes. I mean that’s pretty obvious. Why else would a couple of unarmed kids put up that little show if not to bait you out? There’s a whole platoon of us in the forest. You’re still in time to surrend. But not if you bite her."

Janet arrived in time to see this last part of the conversation, conveniently hidden behind a tree. She had the unpleasant feeling the bluff wasn’t working too well.

"Hear hear" said the vampire, pondering. "I think you’re lying".

"I may not be".

"True that" he muttered. Then he grinned and bared his fangs again. "You know what? I think I’ll risk it." He moved to bite again.

 

"She’s right…" Almund gasped out, still trying to get her breath back. "Ten in the woods… another ten in town… more arriving tomorrow… Why have just me when you could have a proper feast in a few minutes, hmm? It wouldn’t take long to round them up, I promise! Time Scout’s honor…" she begged, hoping she sounded desperate enough for her bluff to work. Maybe by playing on the vampire’s baser instincts, she could buy enough time—even just a few seconds—to try to break his hold on her and get to Milly. Both of them together stood a better chance than either of them by themselves.

The vampire’s jaw dropped - which was good, considering it had just been about to snap shut around Almund’s throat.

"Do you even have the slightest idea how painfully bad you are as a liar?" he asked, honestly curious.

Milly looked frantically around, not even knowing what she was looking for (help? something to use as a weapon? a miracle? Mathilda materializing among the trees?). What she saw instead was Janet, fairly well but not perfectly hidden behind a pine tree. She had somehow managed not to be spotted by the vampire yet, but her luck wasn’t going to last. “Yes she is she’s terrible” she said, trying to attract the vampire’s attention on her. “She also tastes horrible. I am…”

"… pointlessly playing for time" the vampire completed her sentence. "Good try" he said. Then he bit.

"Not really, n-GAH!" Almund said, squirming in his grasp as he bit in. The longer he drank, the weaker her struggles became, and within a minute or two, all she could really do was swear a blue streak at him. After another few seconds, that stopped as well, and all Almund could do was hope for a miracle.

All Milly could do was scream. She would probably have just stood there, still as a statue of salt, waiting for her turn to become the vampire’s next meal, if a sudden movement in her field of view had not shaken her out of her panic. It was Janet, charging head down, shouting something she couldn’t quite understand.

Free to move again, Milly charged her too, headbutting the vampire in his stomach (trying not to think with what he was filling it) to make him drop her friend. “Take her away” she shouted to Janet, “I will…”

The vampire coughed out a mouthful of dark orange blood, dropped Almund and greeted Milly with a clawed slap, followed by back hander that sent her flying back and landing heavily on the ground.

"You’re about to die" the vampire told her, matter-of-factly, "and it won’t be fast".

The forest, spinning and swinging in Milly’s head as she tried to get back to her feet, seemed to agree with him. She stared at her own hands, trying to focus, and she finally saw the obvious. “Hold tight and don’t let go” she shouted, as she threw herself towards her friends and grabbed the nearest limb with the hand that was wearing the time ring. She pushed the first preset button on which her other hand happened to fall upon, hoping for the best. She prayed to all the gods she could remember that the ring could take the three of them, that they all could make the trip without letting go, and that she was mistaken in her impression of a clawed hand closing around her ankle at the very last minute...

  
Everything was sluggish and numb after Almund stopped being able to speak. She vaguely registered the feeling of falling and hitting the ground. Janet put her arms around Almund, which she didn’t feel at all, but somehow still knew that they were; it was all very confusing. She heard voices from a long way off and wanted to tell the people to get away so they wouldn’t die as well, but her lips and vocal cords didn’t quite get the message to work. Almund saw Milly being thrown back by the vampire and wanted to help, but like with her lips, her leg muscles had gone on strike. It was rather frustrating, she thought to herself, to be conscious enough to see what was going on while also being unable to help. Thankfully, that problem was solved as soon as Milly touched them with the time ring. As they slipped through the vortex, Almund’s little consciousness slipped away.


	5. Going big

The Vortex was a cold, dark, and rather scary place to be in without a capsule. All the same, the three figures hurtled through it like there was no tomorrow. They traveled hundreds of thousands of miles in the seconds that felt like an eternity to end up in a rather unceremonious heap on the floor. One of them was unconscious, with a nasty looking bite on her neck, another had a Time Ring on her wrist, and the third looked mildly dazed and confused.

 

The Lady Trey was sitting in her office chair and doing paperwork upon their arrival. It was a rather loud and quite frankly, rude arrival. Trey rolled her eyes and sighed, she thought she’d re-erected the transduction barriers properly this time.

She studied the trio of arrivals from her desk, they didn’t look like anyone she knew. But that was only from her memory, Trey was sure she would know who they are in time.

Trey slowly put down her tablet pen and got up. She walked over to the new arrivals, slowly and in the type of fashion that could scare or intimidate those who weren’t used to her.

"First of all, hello there." She greeted, just because it would be rude not to. "Would you care to explain to me who you are and what you’re doing here?"

Good news: she was alive. Bad news: she couldn’t quite remember how that was supposed to be good news. Milly groaned, refusing to open her eyes just yet. Then a familiar smell got her attention. “We’re home! Oh shit we’re home!” she said, pulling herself up to sit, eyes wide open. Almund was spread across her legs, and Janet was sitting on the floor, looking like she was considering if throwing up was too much effort.

Milly looked up at the woman that was asking them questions. “Hi… hello. I don’t… what?”

 

The jolt of hitting the floor and the familiar smell of Gallifrey brought Almund to semi-consciousness. The woman (presumably whomever’s room this was)was saying something, but there was only one thing on Almund’s mind. “The vampire… Where is it…?” she rasped, trying to look around without moving her neck too much. Almund realized she was still too weak to do anything about him, but was nevertheless concerned for her friends.

 

"Vampire?" Trey replied, now turning her attention to Almund. "There are still vampires in the universe?" If this was the case than Trey was in even more trouble than she thought.

"Okay, so far all I understand is that three strangers have materialised into my Office. One of them has used rather vulgar language and the other is whittling on about vampires. I would appreciate an explanation."

The relief of hearing Almund’s voice hit Milly like a wave. “I think… he’s gone? Where has he… have we lost him?” she said, taking note only now that their unwanted passenger was gone. She looked up at the (fairly intimidating) woman again - Almund’s weight on her legs didn’t leave much freedom of movement.

"I am… we are sorry, we didn’t mean to… pop up here. Whereverhere is. We were just… pushing buttons. Trying to flee. From a vampire. On Earth, twenty-first century.” - her mind was slowly clearing up as she spoke. “It bit Almund! It wanted to eat us. I think… I hope we lost it in the vortex. This thing could’n take all of us i guess…” (she pulled her hand out from under Almund’s body to show the time ring).”Or maybe he just let go”.

"I sure was about to" whined Janet. "I’ll never do that… traveling thing again. Just kill me, next time." - she gasped for air - "i feel like crap".

Milly’s brain was starting to work again. “I bet you do. Spacesick, timesick, wrong atmosphere, wrong gravity, you name it. Be glad we landed somewhere with air…”

She looked up at the woman again, trying her best to remember if she knew her at all. “I’m sorry, I really am.” was the best she could say.

Trey nodded, though it still didn’t make much sense to her. “A vampire? Well if that’s the case, the “vampire” would be floating through the time vortex. The time winds will eventually destroy him.”

"Letting go of a time ring is incredibly dangerous." Trey said, glaring at Janet. "Almost as dangerous as using one full stop. Primitive these things are."

"Yes, do be grateful. You could of ended up anytime, anyplace. You’re lucky you landed on transduction free, post and pre-war Gallifrey." There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"In fact, you landed in the Presidential office of Gallifrey, belonging to President Romanadvoratrelundar. There you go, I’ve told you my name, you tell me yours."

"Post- and pre- what?!" asked Milly, more confused than ever.

She almost choked on her own tongue when she heard that name. The Romana she knew (not that she’d ever actually met her) was nothing like the woman that was standing in front of them. Still, now that she had told them her name, Milly couldn’t be more sure that she was telling the truth.

"Oh my. We did f… mess up badly this time. I am so so sorry." she managed somehow not to stammer, genuinely star-struck. "I am… I… "vha’der’fjijeradazfjifaracyeiasyivhacet’arcytiorpezurPrydonmasi " -  she was so little used to ufficial situations her full name had come to feel weird to her) - "And my friends would be.. huh… vha’Almundenciturnalismasvhacet’lungPrydonmasi … And Janet."

"Jackson" added Janet, a bit pissed by the contrast between their names. "Janet Jackson. The third." she added, quite probably bullshitting it.

"We are so very sorry" repeated Milly for the umpteenth time. "Would you help us please? Almund is hurt and we’re all kinda lost."

Janet still wasn’t entirely sure who Trey was, but she knew enough about Doctor Who to know that the office of the President was very high up, though Trey’s attitude practically oozed power. “We didn’t mean to land in your office, honest. I don’t think these two even knew where we were going to end up in the first place, it all happened so quickly…” she said, wilting slightly under Trey’s glare. Her flat American accent sounded grating to her own ears when compared to Trey’s velvety one or even Almund’s more flowing accent. Ugh.

Almund’s hearing was still a little fuzzy from the blood loss, but she could recognize the title of President anywhere. That one word (plus the ghost of Satthalrope’s nagging voice in the back of her head, telling her to straighten up for Rassilon’s sake, that’s the OtheringPresident you’re groaning at) was enough to scrape together enough energy to drag herself off of Janet and Milly’s legs and at least try to sit up.

Trey frowned at the trio. “Understood. Accidents do happen, don’t they?” She said it in a condescending tone. Perhaps she would have been politer if it wasn’t for the unfinished paperwork on her desk. She then looked at the human in front of her. Janet didn’t seem to be very confident, in fact she seemed scared. “Janet, if I’m right in thinking that’s your name, are you alright? You seem slightly shaken.”

"So, I haven’t had a proper explanation as to what’s been happening. From what I understand is that vampires and time rings were involved." Trey paused, considering pulling the Presidential card once again. "Do I also need to get the CIA involved?"

Janet nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been off Earth before, all this is a bit of a shock.” she said, trying to pull herself together. “We were goofing around in the woods at sunset and this guy came up. Said something about legends and their blood being nommy and he went up and bit Almund. We tried to talk him out of it, but failed rather miserably, so I yelled at him and Milly charged forward and got him in the gut so he dropped Almund. I took hold of her and Milly grabbed me and the next thing I know, we’re here.” she explained, hoping that made sense.

At the mention of the CIA Milly panicked. “Oh no please, no! Anything, but not the CIA! They’ll obliterate the whole state just to be sure… he was most probably just a stray. And he’s almost certainly dead. I hope. Believe. I believe he’s dead. And even if he wasn’t…” she tried her best to find something convincing to say, but she couldn’t find anything at all. “There must be another way… please!” she begged.

"They would what?!" asked Janet, bewildered.

"Nuke your state."

"They would nuke… Indiana?" -she turned to Trey and repeated: "You would nuke Indiana?!”

Milly sighed. “Operated is not the word i’d use. It has been… given to me with a set of destinations programmed into it. I don’t know why. I just picked one. We were on Earth, USA, state of Indiana - this last thing i didn’t know till right now. I don’t know the vampire’s name. He just said he was a vampire, and we believed him because well.. he BIT Almund! And before you ask, no, we weren’t trying to hunt him or anything. We didn’t even know he was there at all. Our outfit ” - she pointed at their full-goth attire - “was a coincidence. sort of.”

"Don’t worry Miss vha’der’fjijeradazfjifaracyeiasyivhacet’arcytiorpezurPrydonmasi, that would be a waste of CIA resources.” Trey assured her. She knew Milly was right, the CIA would have done exactly that…once. Nowadays it was run by one of her best friends, who, and with him the CIA, had slowly grown to become less treacherous.

"Although we do have to alert someone. The CIA and the High Council have the most experience with this type of thing, and we all know how the High Council will choose to deal with it."

"And if I had to, then yes I would ‘nuke Indiana’. But we aren’t in enough danger yet. So don’t panic, Janet."

Trey nodded. “Pre-set coordinates…Who gave it you?”

Milly froze. She knew there was no way to avoid that question, but she didn’t have any satisfying answer to give. She was completely  innocent - well, she felt innocent - but then again, the more she tried to arrange her story in her mind, the more it looked like something that would have got her arrested, exiled or (quite easily) worse. She settled for trying to keep it simple.

"It was a strange old man. I don’t think he gave me his real name. He said a war is coming, and he wanted to stop it. He said that we needed to learn from history, that our whole species needs to learn. He gave me this ring, and set me off to explore. He didn’t explain much, actualy. We… Almund and I, and some other people we met along the way - we figured it may be somehow programmed to bring us to… meaningful places. Like, educational. We’ve still to figure out why. The old man seemd convinced it could help in regards to this war he’s talking about. I don’t know. I just… I think I just accepted because i was bored. And then I kept going on because it was interesting. That’s about it…"

Almund nodded, wincing slightly. “I didn’t know her before two months ago.” she said shakily. Like Milly, she was thinking wildly to try to come up with a less-incriminating-but-still-truthful version of events to tell Trey. “I tried to set up a link with my Family back home and made contact with her instead. I wasn’t exactly complaining then and I definitely didn’t as I got to know her, so I didn’t bother to cut it off. At that point, I was a bit homesick and any contact was good contact. Then yesterday, she pops up in the middle of one of my classes and all this happens.” Almund said shakily, very pale by now. “I thought keeping contact with home’d help with things… So much for my good luck charm…” she let out a soft laugh at the sheer irony of it all, but that was a bit too much and she fell back; out cold, but still smiling.

"There have been many strange, old men warning people of the day to come. Did he happen to be wearing a lot of black, by any chance?" Trey was of course, referring to Valyes, whom Narvin had sent back in time in a feeble attempt at ensuring the daleks never survived their first day. It was supposed to be an effort to save her younger self, but it didn’t work. He sent back Valyes, Valyes sent the Doctor to kill the daleks upon their creation, And the Doctor couldn’t do it. Meanwhile, Trey got herself out of her situation by trapping the daleks in the matrix.

"Clearly not." Trey said to herself, now standing over Almund. "vha’der’fjijeradazfjifaracyeiasyivhacet’arcytiorpezurPrydonmasi, does she normally do this? And can I call you something else? Official names can become tedious after the first thirty syllables."

Milly caught Almund as she fell, two invisible hands gripping her hearts at the sight of that goddamn smile. She sighed. “Get her arse kicked you mean? I’ve only been around her for a day and a half, but i’d say yes. She does. I fear this time she overdid a bit. Would there any way to get help without too many questions asked?”

She was trying to act cool but she was actually quite worried for her friend. It was her fault she was in such a bad way. If only she had not panicked…

"There was a strange man wearing black, actually. Not the one I told you about, another one. I only saw him for a few moments. I just thought he was a dromeian. No idea how he was involved. And please yes, I hate my name. Just call me Milly, would you?"

Janet’s eyes widened as Milly had to catch Almund. “Will she be okay?” she asked, torn between not wanting to be in the way and wanting to help.

"She should be." Trey said calmly. "Don’t worry, just blood loss, the worst case scenario is that she’ll regenerate." Trey said that as if regeneration was an everyday occurrence.

"The man, what was his name?"

Milly hugged Almund tighter, out of instinct. “I won’t say a word until you call a medic.”

"Me neither" Janet joined in.

"If that is the case…" Trey mumbled, now searching her pockets for her battered old radio. "This is Romanadvoratrelunar. I need a medic in my office. I repeat: I need a medic in my office."

"Yes Madam President." The Timelord on the receiving end replied.

"Will that be sufficient?"

Milly realised just know she had been holding her breath. She exaled. “He just told me the short name. The professor, i mean, the one who gave me the ring. He was a Patrex, and looked like a nice person. Extremely old. Worked in the archives. He said his name was Agrajag, but now I think it was an alias. I’m quite sure i’ve heard it somewhere else. The dromeian - or whatever he was… the one with black robes, anyway, he never told me his name. I didn’t really had time to ask.”

Janet looked blankly between the two Time Ladies. Even with the translator, she didn’t understand half the things that they were saying, but one word popped out to her. “Hitchhiker’s Guide.” she said when there was a lull in the conversation. “…It’s a book series on Earth. Agrajag was a guy that the main character kept killing by accident.”

"Written by Douglas Adams, am I correct? The Doctor gave me the books when I was in my second incarnation." Trey said, proud of herself for knowing what the Hitchhiker’s Guide was.

"And the medic should be here any moment now." Trey said after a few moments of silence. Sure enough, the sound of running footsteps could be heard in the corridors outside Trey’s office.

Milly shrugged. “There goes our chance of that not being an alias. Makes sense though. Repetition. A pun about learning from history…”

She looked at the door, wondering how long it would take to that fraking medic to come. “Does anything of this make sense to you, Lady President? This supposed “oncoming war”, my “mission”… does it ring any bell? Because it sure doesn’t to me…”

Janet smiled. “That’s the one.” she said, nodding. After a few seconds, the rest of what Trey said registered. “Wait, you know the Doctor?” she asked, clearly in awe. “That’s so cool!” Janet said before turning to look expectantly at the door.

Trey rolled her eyes “I’m not as ignorant of other cultures as you make me out to be. I don’t spend all my time in a ridiculous colar moaning about non-interference, mostly because I’m the one interfering.”

"And of course I know the Doctor. My first incarnation was sent on a mission by the president with him. Only, he wasn’t really the President, he was an imposter. And the Doctor? Well, he wasn’t ‘so cool’ back then."

Trey then heard one of the automatic doors slide open, and in followed a medic. She pointed to Almund and said: “This one has passed out from what is presumably blood loss. I’m sure you know the procedures?”

"Oh yes he was. You both were. More than cool. The events of your first lives are some sort of a legend for a pair of generations. They are inspiring, for some…"

When the medic came near, Milly gently let go of Almund so he could check on her. She hoped he wouldn’t ask too many questions, but then again, it was the president that had called him, and that must have meant something.

Now free of Almund’s weight, Milly managed to get up, not without some effort as her legs were still asleep for the weight. She massaged them to wake them up. “Thank you, Lady President. I consider myself in debt. If there’s anything i could do for you, i will.”

Janet glanced at her, then nodded. “Same. And I’m sure that goes for Almund too.”

Trey gave Janet an odd look. “I have no clue what you’re talking about. I presume the Doctor interfered with your planet, and now he’s practically worshipped. Am I correct?”

She nodded. “You’re very welcome, Milly.” Trey didn’t see why Milly thanked her, it was something that had seemed to become a normal procedure. Mostly because of the dogma virus, which was almost completely wiped out.

"Will she be okay?" Trey asked after a moment of silence. In response to her question, the medic nodded and continued to tend to Almund.

Janet nodded.

"Well not only on Earth" said Milly. "Do you really have no idea of the effect the reports of your actions have on your own young people? Half the "problematic" students in the Academy take you guys as a role model. Not that I should be telling you so, but… well, it’s true."

Trey laughed. “No, I’m sure it’s just the Doctor. I used to be reckless, but then I became President.” Even so, that Romana did take a lot of risks during her Presidency, well, she still did take a lot of risks.

Trey paused before the realisation of what was said hit her. “How do other people know of what happened during my travles with him?”

Milly swallowed hard.

"Well, that’s… complicated. Not much. Scraps and bits, mostly. You know how those things go… One day some dromeian archive intern gets bored, borrows his supervisor’s codes, scrapes out a few seconds of a log here, a page from an official report there… and then imagination and gossip fill in the gaps. Nothing too compromising, i swear, and anyway almost none of this ever reaches adult ears. It’s just a thing among us kids."

Trey sighed in annoyance. She knew she had a lot more work to do than just some paperwork now. “And yet, children grow into adults. Some children tell the adults what they have seen. And-actually, shall we just forget about this?” Trey said, hoping to drop the subject.

"Well, some of those children have… will grow into adults that will support you, so it’s not all bad, is it?” tried Milly.

Janet hoped they weren’t about to start discussing politics. She was already feeling left out enough like this.

"But yes" Milly agreed, "Let’s drop the subject. We can’t just camp in your office forever. I guess you’re busy anyway. Is there anywere we could go and rest?"

What she really wanted, she realized, was somewhere private, where she could take her time to decide if she wanted to release the tension with a shameless crying fit for the second time in a day, or just sleep half an hour to let her nerves settle down. She felt more inclined to the second. Was she already getting used to this life? It didn’t sound likely, but…

At this, the medic spoke up. “Madam President, I could bring them to the infirmary. This one needs a transfusion, and I don’t have the proper supplies with me.”

Trey glanced at Milly and Janet, then back at the medic. “Of course, if her companions permit it?”

"Anywhere to go and rest? Hmm, I’m sure there are some places to go. We have multiple residential quarters, hopefully you won’t have to share the same rooms."

Milly nodded gratefully. “We’ll just go with Almund if you all agree. To be there when she wakes up. Then, maybe we’ll be able to be of more help than we could be right now. I really would like to.”

"And I could use a toilet" added Janet, feeling the mundanity of her request clash with the unreal feeling that still lingered over the last hours of her life. The silliest thought crossed her mind: ‘if i need to pee, this is all real’. She shivered, then somehow managed to push that realization in the back of her mind again. She knew it wouldnt last.

"Janet, there are some toilets in the next corridor, it’s the fifth door on the right."

"Of course. We’ll all go to the infirmary and wait for Almund to heal, she should be okay by the end of this." Trey glanced at the medic. "Yes, I think she shall go now."

"As you wish, madam." The medic nodded, picking Almund up and heading for the door. Janet went to open it for him, but faltered when there wasn’t a doorknob and raised an eyebrow when it opened for him. "What’s up with the door?" she asked Milly when they were all through.

Milly giggled. “Most of our furniture is a bit telepathic. Some is semi-sentient. Doors wouldn’t need to be, movement sensors would probably be more effecient, but why waste a chance to piss off aliens?”

"Welcome to the Planet of Jerks." Janet muttered under her breath.

"Yup. And now that you mention it, we should probably visit the toilet together."

"Yea thanks, I don’t fancy adding "disregarded by a toilet flush" to my list of experiences."

They giggled together like little girls.

Trey rolled her eyes. “You act like little children.” She said, although very fondly. Despite their rude interruption and wild stories, she had quickly grown to like them.

"I don’t care to escort you to the toilets, and most people here have much better things to get done." Trey paused, before looking at the door. "Okay, we shall all leave for Almund together, you can go to the toilet then. I, personally, want to speak to Almund when she wakes up. Hopefully she can explain things much better than you two can."

By then she had began to head towards the doors, which, of course, glided open the moment they felt their madam president trying to make her way out.

 

***

 

Almund woke up in a hospital bed with an IV in each arm connected to a bag each of orange blood and a gauze pad strapped to the side of her neck with hospital tape.

“Ugh...” she groaned. “What happened?”

Janet and Milly ran to her bed in a matter of seconds. The human gave her a grim look. “I… don’t know how to put it down nicely. You… well… you sort of…”

"You are a guy now". finished Milly for her.

"A blue guy" added Janet.

This was too much, and the two of them broke out laughing. “Nah” said Milly as soon as she got her breath back, “Still the same you. Couldn’t risk to have you turning into an even less considerate Almund. If that’s even possible.”

Janet giggled.

"And you know what else?" Milly beamed: "We (most probably) took down a fraking vampire. The three of us. On our own. And lived to tell. I think the proper phrasing for this is ‘we are the awesomest’…"

Almund just blinked blankly at the pair. When they said that she had regenerated, she looked down at herself, but that was even more confusing. Why would they say that? The two were acting like they obviously knew her, but she couldn’t remember them for the life of her. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

"What the…?" started Janet. "Are you taking the piss out of us?"

Milly facepalmed hard. “Oh. Oh that’s just great” she groaned, shaking her head. She sighed. “We are your friends. Milly” - she pointed at herself, then at the human - “And Janet. Long story short, you got hurt trying to save our arses from a dangerous situation that was mostly caused by you. Which appears to be your MO. Now, what’s the last thing you remember?”

Almund thought hard about it for a second before answering. “I had been sent back to Lungbarrow house to pack. I had gotten into the Interstellar Exchange Program and was going to try to sightsee a bit before getting to Earth. The door opened behind me, Glospin came in, and—wait. Was it him? Did Glospin do this? The little pigrat… He didn’t want me going to such a primitive planet.” she said, her expression darkening the longer she spoke.

"Primitive?!" protested Janet. Milly made a sign to her with a hand to let Almund speak. Then she shook her head again.

"No, your cousins have nothing to do with this. It happened on Earth. We are home now, but we just came back. We had to flee here after you got in trouble during your stay and…" She sighed. "Look, it’s faster to show you actually".

She walked around Almund’s bed, to the opposite side from where Janet was standing, then offered the human her hand to take. She placed her free hand on Almund’s. “Take the other, will you?” she asked Janet. Then she said to the human: “Now please try and concentrate on your memories of the times you spent together with Almund. I’ll do the same. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the transfer. Hopefully, this will give a good start to her other memories to come back on their own.”

She turned to Almund: “Can we give it a try?” she asked.

Almund nodded, gently squeezing their hands. The pair seemed like nice people (even the alien) and she liked knowing nice people. “Contact.”

Her eyes widened as memories flooded her mind. At first, they were all like looking at herself from the outside, but those knocked down the mental block that she had put up in her unconscious shock. Almund sat bolt upright, holding their hands almost unconsciously tight. “I remember now! Sorry, guys…”

Without exchanging a word or a glance, Janet and Milly both immediatly hugged her tight. “Good to have you back” said Milly. “You’re forgiven for ruining our entrance”.

Janet broke the hug first. “Who’re the tall guy and the kid?” she asked.

Milly let go of Almund and stared at the human. “Crap” she cursed, swallowing a more colourful remark. Not only had their contact given Almund access to their memories, but it had worked the other way around too. Her newly gained knowledge of a handful of idle afternoons spent together by Janet and Almund, chatting and mucking around on Earth wouldn’t probably cause anything worse than some awkwardness. But if the Stranger found out she’d blurted out all kind of information about him and Fix to the first human she met…

"Friends…" she said, awkwardly.

Almund nodded, scooching up on the bed so the frame supported her back. “We went on a bit of an adventure with them before heading to Caruso’s. They’re nobody to worry about, just other Time Lords.”

"Proper ones" added Milly. "With Tardises and all. Something we’ll never live to be, if Almund doesn’t start to work on her attitude."

"Hey!" Almund said, not annoyed or angry at Milly, but more protesting than anything. "If I hadn’t done anything, that vampire would’ve probably killed them. Now, they’re not exactly the nicest people around, but they hadn’t done anything to warrant not regretting them dying when something could’ve been done to prevent it." she pointed out without a hint of regret. "Yeah, I probably could’ve done it better, but it worked."

"Wait" said Janet, "Are you saying that you had it all planned from the beginnig? You knew that priest was a vampire all along? So our "prank" was just…"

Through what remained of their short contact, Milly could feel a wave of rage about to break upon Janet’s mind, as the admiration in her voice was replaced by the realization that, if that was the case, she had basically been used as bait. Though it may have done some good to Almund to get yelled at a bit, it would have been cruel to the human not to intervene.

"Nope" she said, as calm as she could. "As much as she would like us to believe it, I’m pretty sure she didn’t have the faintest idea about any of this. It’s not her style. She likes to mess it up as she goes." - She turned to Almund: "And don’t try to sell me the hero card now: every time there’s trouble your eyes shine like your nameday’s come early. You won’t last long with this attitude. Not with that outdated body of yours, anyway."

Almund blushed in embarrassment. “You’re right, I had no idea what was going to happen and I’m sorry for putting you in danger like that. Looking back, it was a pretty stupid thing to do.” she admitted, not making eye contact. “It’s a Family trait, not completely thinking things through, though I know that’s a pretty shoddy excuse.”

"Yes, well…" Milly had expected Almund to get angry at her, and her answer made her feel embarassed. "I may have overreacted a bit. I didn’t mean that last thing I said. I was just worried."

She looked at Janet for support. The human smiled, not really knowing what to do to help.

They could hear a voice saying something out of the main door, too muffled to understand. A nurse came in from the door on the opposite wall, and gave the girls a small, professional smile. She fiddled with a dial pad, then she gestured to Milly and Janet to get out of the way, as she worked on Almund. After she finished removing the needles and stuff, she wheeled the whole thing away (the cart following her like a puppy) and got out barking “And please don’t move!” as her only goodbye.

"Still", Milly cheered up, after the (quite rude) nurse disappeared out of the door "we’re not rubbish, after all, are we? I mean in the end, what were the odds of actually getting out of it in one piece? Three kids on their own…"

"No plans, no backup, no weapons worth a damn" quoted Janet with a giggle. The reference flew over Milly’s head completely.

"So who knows. Maybe your style works too…"

Almund waited for the nurse to leave before grinning again. “Bedside manner of a constipated shark, that one.” she cracked, laughing softly to herself. “And anything to lose.” Almund finished, getting the reference, but amending it once she saw that Milly didn’t. “Well, that’s not exactly true, I wouldn’t want to lose your friendship.”

"You’d need to do worse than get us killed a few times to lose that" said Milly without half a thought.

"Aw" commented Janet, making a mocking shreck-cat face, "That’s sweet. Bit psycho, but sweet".

 

* * *

 

Someone standing guard outside of the infirmary called Trey on the radio: "Lady president, i just wanted to let you know that your guest is awake now. I can hear the three of them chatting inside."

"Thank you." She replied, hoping to Rassilon that Almund was in the mood to listen to her.

Slowly, she entered the infirmary. “Almund.” She called out. “Are you awake?”

 

"I am, Madam President." Almund called back, feeling that the whole thing was surreal. If someone had told her that she would address the President, she would have said that they had looked at the Untempered Schism a little too long, but here she was.

Janet didn’t know how to react to the presence of the President. She realized standing there staring at her like a dead trout wasn’t probably the most appropriate thing. The best she could come up with was a deep, if a bit wobbly, old-style curtsy.

Milly managed somehow not to giggle. She wasn’t so sure about Almund.

Almund managed a respectful bow, but couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. “I believe you wanted to talk to me?” she asked, sensing the clear intent from Trey.

"Well of course I do. I need to- " Trey paused, it wouldn’t be very fair to interrogate Almund if she was still unwell. "Are you well enough to…talk, so to speak."

Milly giggled. One thing she had learnt about Almund, was that she would have needed to be either dead or unconscious to shut up. She only hoped she wasn’t about to say anything too badly compromising. They’d had more than enough trouble for a weekend, and official trouble wasn’t her favourite kind.

"Even if I wasn’t at my peak, I doubt talking would do any harm." Almund replied. "Not that I am at my peak, rather far from it, but—I—I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine." she babbled, coming to a rather shuddering halt. Whoops. Partly she blamed whatever pain killer the nurse had put on her bite and partly on being rather awkward at speaking to people she didn’t know very well.

"Judging from your chatter, I’d say you’re still near rock bottom." She put her hand on Almund’s shoulder. "I was going to talk about the recent events that have happened both on Gallifrey and wherever you were. And Milly, is this really time for laughing?"

Wow - thought Milly. That was new. Of all the things she would have expected from Almund, being too star-struck to talk was among the last. Just about there with doing the reasonable thing once in a while and keeping her mind to herself.

She quietly moved nearer to her, and touched her hand as casually as she could. She used the touch to convey a simple message - just a fragment of a (bit compromising) [picture](http://media2.giphy.com/media/oSUA7vzkhXDyM/200_s.gif) someone had sneaked out of an archive ages before. [When she was our age, she was just like us] she transmitted, as quietly as she could.

As Trey touched Almund’s shoulder, she took her own hand away as fast as she could, hoping not to have been caught. It would have been extremely awkward. Though kinda fun. She couldn’t help giggling more.

"I’m sorry, Lady President. It just… feels good to be alive. I’ll get a grip on myself, i promise."

Uh oh. Presumably Trey wanted to talk about recent events on her Gallifrey, which could lead to awkward questions and trouble. After all, one of the Laws of Time was never to travel into Gallifrey’s past or future. Hopefully, she could bullshit her way through the questions.

When Milly sent the image, Almund had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep a neutral expression. It served its purpose in breaking the ice, though, and Almund was much more relaxed (without being too disrespectful) when she spoke next. “Anything in particular or shall I just rattle on?”

"What exactly are you laughing at? Forgive me for being nosey but I am curious." She already knew, of course. She’d caught the image going through Almund and Milly’s heads, and she really wasn’t pleased to know others outside of the Doctor’s TARDIS knew of what happened.

"Rattling on shall suffice. I will ask questions when I see fit."

"It’s just…" -not knowing how much Trey had seen, Milly decided, if not to tell the truth, at least not to lie: "I laugh when i’m nervous. And meeting you in person is… well… as I said, you’re a bit of a legend among us kids."

"Next she’ll ask for your autograph" commented Janet.

Almund let out a cough that quite possibly covered the word “Busted” (though she’d deny it to the tomb). Trey’s questions put a dent in her smile, though. “I’m not entirely sure, Ma’am. It could have been the Vortex Converter I used. Or at least that’s what I’ve taken to calling it. I told a few of my Cousins that I was headed to 21st century Earth and before I left, one of them handed me a little black box that plugs into a USB port on a local computer.” she said, hesitating half a second before deciding (for better or worse) to tell the truth for once. “We were going to pull a prank on a pair of locals. It wasn’t anything serious, but the vampire made it go rather wrong. Everyone survived, though. Well, except the vampire.” Almund amended, feeling rather nervous.

Uh-oh. That was quite a big bit of the truth. Some of it was new to Milly herself. “Actually” she said, not wanting Almund to get all the blame, “i may have helped mess up things a bit from my side. Absolutely not on purpose. I used my supervisor’s machinery to connect to Almund, and I can’t say i actually knew entirely what i was doing. I got there by trial and error, and some of the components I used, i don’t even know what they were for. This, provided nobody “helped” me without my knowledge. At this point I don’t really know”.

"A prank? You risked so much for a game?" Trey asked, beginning to lose her tember. "Well, at least the locals survived. Now, who gave you the black box? I want their name and I want to see the USB port and the computer in question."

"Milly, how did you connect to Almund? Why did you do it if you didn’t know what you were supposed to be doing?" Treu knew it would be pointless to carry on asking questions, she thought it was unlikely she would get the full truth. But she carried on interrogating them anyway.

"We didn’t know we were risking anything at all" Milly protested. "The vampire was a surprise".

"They assured me they didn’t know" confirmed Janet.

"I was bored" answered Milly to the other question. "Archive work is the worst thing ever, and my supervisor had all those awesome communication devices, it was stuff i’d never seen in books. I’m no techie but they looked user friendly enough so I just thought, why not give it a try? And then it worked, and I found Almund, and she was fun and everything. When my supervisor busted me, I thought I was in trouble, but no, he actuallty approved of my actions, and then he asked me if I wanted to travel, and what was I supposed to do? Refuse and die of boredom for the rest of my life?”

"I would probably have accepted too" commented Janet. Then she realized what she had said and added: "Wait, I did…"

"I would be more than happy to retrieve it for you, both the box and the computer; unfortunately I have neither with me." Almund said, feeling embarrassed and not completely knowing why. "I don’t think it would do any harm, but to be honest, I’m not sure."

"Do you have any idea as to where they are? Or perhpas you cousin knows? Wormhole, isn’t it? What a strange name." Trey paused and shook her head. "No, his name doesn’t matter. I just want to see the box."

"I do. They should be still in my apartment on Earth, I’m afraid. I can give you the space-time coordinates, if you want." Almund replied. "Wormhole is a nickname, actually. Their looming was rather odd, and he came out with a little divot in his abdomen. Cousin Glospin said that the loom-tenders must have dropped a wormhole in during the process, and it stuck."

Milly bit her knuckles. It was already a miracle Trey had not made the connection between “Cousin Wormhole” and her old traveling companion and fellow ex-president, but now that small miracle had been completely wasted. “How about we tag along with whoever you’re sending in to check if the vampire situation is solved, and just pick it up for you?” she tried, with very little hope.

"With a Tardis?" asked Janet. She would have given anything to see one with her eyes, even if it meant going back to Earth and maybe being stuck there for a long time.

"Why yes! I, or whoever shall be dealing with this mess, would really appreciate the coordinates." Trey thought of going by herself with her bodyguard, Leela, or even making Narvin send one of his agents to do it themselves.

Trey then raised an eyebrow when Almund began to talk about ‘Wormhole’. “Hmm, I know someone like that. I do hope we aren’t thinking of the same person; otherwise, there will be trouble.”

"And, no Milly. I can’t really allow that, not until I have proof that all three of you are completely trustworthy."

"41.675438, -86.236420, Sol 3, Mutters Spiral." Almund rattled off. She clammed up a little when Trey mentioned trouble, but tried to go on like she didn’t have a sinking feeling they were. "As do I, Madam President. As do I… Though might I ask what we would need to do to be trustworthy?" Almund asked. Part of her wanted to stay on Gallifrey—even if it wasn’t her Gallifrey—and not go back to Earth, but most of her said that it would be better to go back and smooth things over.

Milly couldn’t think of anything helpful to say - no, she couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t lead to utter disaster.

"Whatever we may have done wrong, I swear that wasn’t on purpose." she tried.

"That probably sounded better in her head" quoted Janet.

Milly winced. “True that. What I was trying to say is, we didn’t mean to cause any trouble. Actually we would like to help. If you want. Or just get out of your way… I guess you’re very busy with… politics and stuff?”

Trey nodded. “Thank you for the coordinates. And we shall see when you are trustworthy. But for now, trusting complete strangers is a bad idea, wouldn’t you agree?”

"And no, Milly. You haven’t done anything wrong that I know of. And yes, I do want you out of me way, but I suppose our situation, whatever it may be, is a lot more important than some dusty old paperwork."

"By ‘our situation’ do you mean Vampires being on Earth or us being here?" Milly asked.

"I’d put my money on ‘both’ " said Janet. "I wouldn’t like to go back to my neighbourhood to see it turned into an all-vamp dystopian society".

"Which is totally not going to happen as we probably nipped it in the bud" noted Milly, trying to persuade more herself than the others. "Anyway, about us being here… from what i’ve understood, our destinations are supposed to be all relevant places and times. Moments and situations from which we could learn something. This sort of thing."

Janet snorted: “Yeah, ‘vampires are bad’, for instance”.

"More like ‘learning from history is useful’, i think. But yes, yours is good too. So anyway, I was wondering… what could be happening right now in the President’s office that our mysterious patrons want us to learn?"

"Or maybe they wanted you to report your findings to the President when you were finished and we just hit the wrong preset in the confusion." Almund pointed out. "Either way, you’re right. We’re here for a reason, so what is it?" she asked, shrugging to show that she didn’t know after a pause. "I’ve got no idea. At least not yet."

Trey sighed in defeat. “You are right, Janet. It’s both, I don’t know who you are and I am just as clueless when it comes to the vampires.” It hurt her to admit she that she didn’t have complete control of the situation.

"And if they wanted something they could easily come and talk to me! I rarely bite and don’t know why they’d bother with children."

"Well" said Milly, "I’ve been thinking a lot about this last thing, us being children, and I came out with a theory: see, that strange man didn’t seem to think too well of our people’s… typical approach to problems. Also he said we’re not the only children involved, so I was thinking: what if he’s trying to… prepare our generation for something? Or just using us children because we’re not as prejudiced as adults yet? Maybe he hopes that if enough of us get in contact with… more diverse input, then the hive as a whole could benefit from it? That’s what he tried to explain at least, though the part about children being more suitable is just my thinking."

"That makes sense." Almund said. "Maybe he doesn’t want what happened to his generation to happen to y—ours. Or maybe he found an alternate way to predict the future and wants to prevent something from happening?" she suggested, hoping Trey wouldn’t pick up on her almost-slip-up.

"I…I almost wish that didn’t make sense to me." She didn’t say that because she was scared, but because she didn’t like how she could see the advantages to using children.

"My generation? If the man is who I think he is, than it’ll happen to every generation, not just yours or mine."

"Wait, so you actually know what’s going on?" asked Milly.

"What is going on?" Almund asked, feeling a bit clueless. "Who are you thinking of? Sorry for being oblivious, but today’s a bit of an off day for me."

"No, I’m making it all up as I go along." Not even Trey herself knew if she was being sarcastic.

"And I’m thinking that he could be Valyes. My…friend sent him back to prevent the creation of the Daleks, that happened a long time ago now."

Almund nodded. “I see. He could have easily stayed in the past to set us up. His knowledge of future events could have easily given him enough power to turn away prying eyes.” she pointed out before mentally slapping herself. She should really learn to think more about whether or not she should say something before saying it…

Milly’s left heart skipped a beat. Altough she was secretly hoping that the lady President already knew everything about they being off their time, and that for some reason she was just pretending not to, Milly knew too well that this was probably wishful thinking. Almund didn’t seem to consider the issue a problem at all, as she kept talking like it was perfectly normal to be on the wrong Gallifrey. Well, maybe it was? Milly didn’t know how common this kind of situation could be in the high ranks. Maybe it was everyday stuff. Had not Trey just talked about sending an agent to Gallifrey’s own past like it was common practice? Still, she wasn’t ready to bet her life on it.

"Yes indeed" she said, surprised by how natural her voice sounded. But then again, she wasn’t lying: every single word she said was the truth. All she hoped was that if she kept throwing enough truth at Trey, she may manage to keep a tiny bit of it out. "The professor was incredibly old, and he seemed to have knowledge of events that are seldom even studied in books anymore. I didn’t have the time to know the man in black as well, but he may have been as old as him, for sure. Maybe this agent of yours failed - because well, we still have Daleks, don’t we?" (she realized too late this was a shot in the dark, as for all she knew they may have gone extinct by now…) - "So maybe he decided to stay and… do something with us? Maybe whatever he’s doing with children is his plan B? Still… what should children have to do with those xenophobic dustbins? Does whatever he fears for our future involve Daleks?"

"Oh come on!" shouted out Janet, "Isn’t it obvious?"

"He wasn’t my agent. The circumstances regarding Valyes being sent back are not up for sharing." Trey paused. "However, I’m in a spiteful and rather angsty mood, so we’ll see how much I tell you."

"And of course. All of Gallifrey’s future could involve the Daleks, and a great deal of its past if certain people keep on interfering.” Trey was of course referring to herself, not that she would admit to her habit of casually breaking the laws of time.

"Janet, please, lower your voice."

"Sorry" said Janet, softer, "I didn’t want to shout. But I just mean, everyone on Earth knows about the war between you and the Daleks. Sure, we’ve never seen one of them on Earth, it’s all fiction and all that, but can we even know it’s not like in those Man in Black movies? For what we know there may be people in suits going around erasing everyone’s memory all the time…"

"Janet…" whined Milly, begging she would stop before she said something too compromising. "I’m sorry Lady President, it’s the Doctor again. He appears to have been… bragging a bit, lately. And also working hard on making the humans hate the Daleks, apparently." She sighed. "Lady President, is it like the humans say? Are we heading towards a full blown war with the Daleks?"

Almund bit her lip nervously. She had seen the episodes involving the Last Great Time War, but had thought that it was all plot that the humans had come up with. “I hope not.” she said honestly. “They may be evil, but it’d be hard to deny that they’re effective. It’d be a bloodbath.”

"What has the Doctor been telling them?" And what has the CIA done about this? She thought. “I know the Doctor is well known on that planet but everyone? I highly doubt he spread the word of Gallifrey’s predicament to every one of you.”

"And yes, it would be a bloodbath. They’re highly skilled and come in huge numbers. They have invaded before, and that resulted in so much death. If we were to be heading towards another war with them…Well, I don’t think we’d win this time."

"Sure we would!" protested Milly. "We are like… the most advanced species in the universe, how could we just lose?”

"Actually you did…" said Janet.

Milly shook her head. “No way. I don’t know if it’s the Doctor going down heavy with propaganda or you humans adding a bit of drama, but i simply refuse to believe it. We’re far more advanced and… organized and… everything. Aren’t we?”

"A good amount of people, I’m afraid. The show has been going for 50 years." Almund put in, not wanting to think about the possibility of war with the Daleks. "I certainly hope it’s just propaganda…" she added rather nervously. She would have said more reassuring things, but didn’t want to risk saying something and have it be wrong.

"Easily." Trey replied. "The Timelords are just a race of corrupt old men, glorifying their dark past. How could we win? Granted we have time technology, and one the best understanding of the universe there is, but that won’t help. Certainly not advanced and organised, merely powerful and pretentious."

"A show? What do you mean a show? The Doctor has documented everything that has happened, or stolen CIA recordings and turned it into a show?

Milly’s spirit sank as she heard the President talk like that. She’d never ever heard grown up people say such things, and it felt pretty much like a ball of lead was materializing into her guts. “I wouldn’t go this far. More like what happened among us kids. Bits and scrapes and a few drunken confessions, plus a lot of work of imagination.”

"Still" reasoned Janet, who would have never believed her geekiness would ever have turned her into an interesting conversation partner for a President  “that means your collegues on Earth, whoever they are, share Lady Romana’s pessimism.”

"I want to go home" - the words escaped from Milly’s mouth before she even realized she was thinking them. Vampires and slave traders and renegades piloting wrecks and even all nighters in the archives didn’t look so bad, compared to hearing the invincibleRomana say such things.

Almund wasn’t sure what to say. She had never seen a President seem so… depressed. “Perhaps there’s time to prepare?” she suggested, trying to stay on the bright side. “Sure, we’re not exactly ready now, but maybe we could do something to rally the public?” Almund’s hopeful smile faded after a rather lengthy pause in the conversation. “…Or maybe not, I don’t know…” she said quietly, embarrassed.

"So do I." Trey admitted. She knew her heart belonged to Gallifrey, but she didn’t often like that. She missed the Doctor’s TARDIS and K-9. She missed the days when they travelled the stars with their biggest worry being the Key to Time. No wars. No long term responsibilities. And no regret.

"And yes, Almund. I have considered that."

Milly wondered what Trey meant. Wasn’t she home right now? Then again, Milly herself wasn’t sure she was really thinking about House Oakdown when she said she wanted to “go home”. Maybe she just meant she wanted to feel safe.

"When you said you have "considered" what Almund said, you meant that you agree, or were you just being sarcastic?" she asked. A very bad idea was beginning to grow into her mind. Sure, she wanted to retain both her life and her freedom. But what the Old One had told her in the archives, what Romana was saying now, and the fancy stories the humans were telling each other just for fun… they were all coming together too neatly not to mean something. Maybe it was not a matter of what she wanted. Maybe she had a duty to tell the President all the truth…

Almund’s hand brushed against Milly’s and she caught the end of her train of thought. ‘Wait, hang on…’ Almund sent through their connection. ‘Are you going to tell her everything? Like the bit about us being from the past and all?’ Almund felt conflicted. Part of her wanted to keep it a secret, part of her said to tell because it was the right thing, and part of her said to tell now before she slipped up and said something that would prove as much by mistake and got into more trouble that way. There was probably no getting out of some measure of trouble at this point, but which would be the lesser of two evils?

Milly jerked as Almund peeked into her mind without notice. That was a remarkably rude thing to do, not to mention a very bad idea in the current situation. The chances that Trey had been excluded from the conversation were thin. Oh well, that at least helped to solve the dilemma.

"Lady President" Milly said, "There may be a way for us to help…"

"How?" She asked, her voice was cold and stern. Trey would never admit to needing these children’s help, but either way she wanted it desperately.

"And I know you two are thinking amongst yourselves, be sure to count yourselves lucky that I had some manners and didn’t listen in."

Almund glanced first at Milly, then Janet, and back to Trey. She bit her lip, nervous, and began. “Madam President, I deeply regret to inform you that we haven’t been entirely truthful with you. Milly and I… We’re from Gallifrey’s past.” she said, closing her eyes as if to shield them from an angry outburst. When none came immediately, she continued. “I’m not entirely sure when exactly she’s from—farther along than me—but I came to Earth as part of the new Interstellar Exchange Program, one set up by—probably the late by now—Lord President Drall. I also have reason to believe that my Cousin Wormhole is the one known as The Doctor.”

"I’m probably only off a few decades" confirmed Milly, "while Almund should be around the same age of your friend and former President, by now."

Provided we don’t come to a bitter end in some forgotten CIA dungeon in the next few hours, she thought, carefully keeping the thought to herself.

Trey swallowed. “Well then, we are in trouble, aren’t we?” She didn’t say it like a threat, although it could easily be seen as one. “Tell me, what were the dates when you left? I want the truth.”

"Oh, and I had already suspected your cousin of being the Doctor."

Milly squeaked like a rat having its tail walked over.

She tried to speak, but the only sound she made was a strangled wimper. Janet stared at her: this wasn’t how things went in the movies. She’d followed the girls thinking they knew what they were doing, but now she was starting to wonder if she had really made a good choice. As the silence dragged on, panic started to take hold of her. “Girls?” she said in a thin, shaky voice, which made Milly feel guilty enough to give it another try.

"I think…" she managed to say, "…I’m not sure. Which year count are we using in your time? Anyway, from that little I’ve understood, Almund would have left Gallifrey around her more famous cousin’s first hundredth nameday, aged 117, a few weeks ago from her subjective point of view, while I left aged 89, in the (?)th year of your presidency, and for me it’s been… well, two days. But it feels like months."

She sighed. “I know it’s all very very illegal, but none of us did any of this on purpose, and besides, we thought… well we were scared, we are scared, so we didn’t want to tell you at first, but then we realized that maybe if you knew this, you could… I don’t know, find a way to make a good use of this. Of us. Give us a chance to make up for what we’ve done. Though we didn’t really want to do it, whatever it… was? Not sure if I’m making sense.” - Please dont have us vaporized, added her brain, though her mouth managed not to convey this last part of the message.

Almund shrank into the bedcovers, though she nodded in agreement with Milly’s dating of her. “We wouldn’t have done anything if we had known it would end up like this!” she said desperately. “Really, we didn’t mean to break the law!”

"I…Don’t worry." She said, perhaps in a half hearted attempt at comfort. "I have done things like this, and it was worse. I travelled-no, will travel back into my past. And if I go wrong, I’ll change everything.” She confessed, rather reluctantly.

"And thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth."

Almund was stunned by Trey’s distinctly non-threatening answer. Still, she had to make sure… “Y-you aren’t going to vaporize us?” Almund asked in a rather quiet, hesitant voice. It wasn’t that she wanted to be killed, but Trey had every right to as a President dealing with—she gulped—criminals. Funny, she hadn’t thought that she would have been able to call herself a criminal this early in her regeneration cycle.

The day you’ll keep that mouth shut… - thought Milly, unable to find a fitting mental image to finish the sentence.

"Your own past? Isn’t that dangerous?” asked Janet, remembering a whole lot of sci-fi movies that suggested it was a very very bad idea.

"Very" answered Milly, "but if there’s one person in all the seven systems that knows what she’s doing, that’s the President."

She wasn’t trying to be a bootlicker (though if there was a situation in which some ass-kissing could be justified, it was probably this one). That was what she sincerely thought about Romana.

"What, like the Doctor?" asked Janet, her heavy accent making it hard to be sure if she was completely unironical.

Milly buried her face in a double facepalm.

She sighed, then she lifted her face again and looked at the President. “What do you think we should do now?” she asked. “To help, i mean. Because we want to. Right?” she glanced at Almund, then with a little less confidence at Janet.

Trey shook her head. “Almund, I am a lot more left winged than other Presidents, I rarely vaporise people, it seems.” Although that also had something to do with the fact that more often than not, she didn’t have the right materials for vaporisation.

"Yes Janet, like the Doctor, like Braxiatel, like countless other timelords. The difference between me and them is that I know how to properly deal with the consequences."

"And I’m sure the best course of action for you three is to return to your own timelines. I’ll get the CIA to deal with things under my surveillance, no harm shall come to you.”

"Of course I’ll help, should the occasion arise." Almund said, relaxing visibly. "Thank you so much." she added, though even she wasn’t sure whether it was because Trey wasn’t going to vaporize them or let them go back to their own time streams.

Their own time streams? Milly wasn’t sure she liked the idea so much - though it was definitely better than being dead. But if she was going to be sent back to her own time… damn, by then Almund would have probably become a responsible adult. How lame could that be?

"Will I still be allowed to… know about all this?" asked Janet. "To hang out with Almund, or at least to remember?"

Right, thought Milly. Almund a responsible adult, and Janet nothing more than a handful of dust. Not to mention her own mission, whatever it was. If Romana sent her back now, her adventures were most probably going to end there. Neither she had a good feeling about going back altogether, although she didn’t know why she felt like that. And what if her quest were really intended to be useful in avoiding that same danger Trey was trying to protect Gallifrey from?

But then again, even if that was the case, she wasn’t sure she would have dared disobey the President. Not so much for fear of punishment, but because that would have just been wrong…

Trey nodded gratefully. “I appreciate your help. It means a lot to me, especially during these times of crisis.”

"And Janet." Trey said, edging closer to the alien. "It’s likely you’ll remember and possibly even see your friends. But whether I let you remember or not, I shan’t be doing regarding you three until Almund is completely healed.”

Almund smiled weakly and felt the side of her neck where there was a rather thick bandage. The wound still ached, but it was more of a dull throbbing, rather than the sharp pain of receiving it. “Still achy, but bearable.” she reported, feeling the punctures through the gauze. “If, under some circumstance, we were forced to move, I think it would be possible with few adverse effects.”

"Except the risk of running into your future selves" commented Janet, once again proud of her vaste sci-fi culture.

"Provided we’re going to last long enough to be still around by now, that is." said Milly. Considering how they were doing so far, that wasn’t obvious at all. "But you’re right, that’s a possibility, so no matter how much i’d like to see how things have changed in the last few decades, it will probably much wiser to just hole up here until… well, until we’re ready to go home. Which won’t be any time sooner than they finish investigating on that vampire situation that may or may not still sussist back on Earth. Am I right, lady President?"

"Then you will stay here for the moment." Trey declared, before realising the problems that could arise with that. "But of course, if you desperatly need to return home, you can."

"And hopefully you won’t run into any future selves. But luckily, if you did they should remember the pattern of events and…avoid you. Unless they remember talking to you, then it’s just one great big mess."

Almund nodded in agreement. All of a sudden, the weight of the day’s events swept over her and Almund realized that she was exhausted. She sank back into the soft bed and was asleep within seconds.

An hour and a half later, Almund’s eyes flew open and she became aware of a few things: quite a lot of time had passed, Milly and Janet were still there (albiet now sitting in chairs instead of standing), and she had drooled a little on the pillow beside her. Whoops… “Ugh… How long was I out?”

"Not long enough for Janet to persuade me to try and sneak out of the building to visit the planet, though we were nearly getting there…" Milly answered.

"I kept saying that’s what you would have done in our shoes…" said Janet.

"And that’s the reason why the local Almund is probably in Shada by now" said milly only half joking " but we’re too near to my time and i don’t fancy meeting myself so soon. And besides,we’re already in enough trouble like this. Speaking of which: do we have a plan?"

"Plan? Of course we have a plan." Almund replied, quickly thinking one up. "You still have the Time Ring, right? If you give it to me now, I’ll give it back to you in your Time and then you can come back."

"How does it even make sense? There’s no reason…"

Milly’s mind explored a handful of different causal paths, weeding out the ones that ended with paradoxes, very bad trouble and general uselessness. “No wait, it kinda does, I can see your reasons, and I can also see other reasons which you can’t know about yet, but…” -

Milly went on pondering: If Almund managed somehow to keep the ring, to resist the urge to use it to go looking for an untimely end, and to forget it into a drawer in her bedroom at house Lungbarrow for about 300 years, she would have a better chance to escape that awkward situation her family was going to get into around that time. But then again, there was no reason why Trey would have been less eager to sequestrate the ring if it was Almund the one to keep it. “Trey won’t let you keep it any more than she would let me. Janet may ask to get taken home in a hurry and “accidentally” steal it while we create some distraction, but even so, Trey would notice as soon as it’s time to get us home, so not only she’d immediatly take it back, but we’d also have betrayed her trust, so it would all have been for nothing. Same goes for simply running away right now, which we may even manage, provided they have not fixed those barrier things yet..”

"If you mean clicking some random button again" intervened Janet, "Count me out. If you want me to tag along, go steal yourselves a Tardis". She had said it as a joke, but as she spoke, she realized to her own surprise she kinda meant it.

Milly sighed. “I’m afraid this is the last time we’re going to be young together… unless…” she brightened up with a sudden idea. “Janet, you’re a genius.”

"Am I?" asked the human, in the most cliche’ way possible.

"Yes indeed. We may never be young again, Almund and I, but that doesn’t mean our adventures must end, right? We still have a lot to explore, but we don’t really need the ring for that, just its destinations. And of those, we could make a backup with this" - she said, fishing the sonic probe out of her pocket. "Sure, it would take a bit to convert them in a format a Tardis can read, but if it’s Almund who keeps it, we’ll gain a few centuries."

"Like in the 50 years episode" commented Janet.

"No idea what you’re talking about. But it may work, and there’s no reason why anyone’d take a common device like that away from any of us. On the plus side” she said to Almund, as she gave her the probe - “This plan is better in that it doesn’t provide you with the means to go looking for trouble before time. Which advantage on the other hand I’m going to foil by leaving this to you” she ended, giving Almund the Stranger’s mobile phone. “It wouldn’t work from my side anyay. I’ll have more chances asking the Old one to patch me in that earth blog thing again somehow…”

Almund nodded, the grin back. “Exactly like it!” she told Janet before turning to Milly. “Yeah, mine was a pretty bad idea, but it gave you a good one, so it was worth it.” She put the probe and phone on the bedside table and sat up a little. “Only thing, where are we going to get a TARDIS?”

"Well . . The long way, i’m afraid. that’s the flaw in the plan. It kinda relies on you staying out of trouble until graduation. Still it’s a shorter wait than simply letting time follow its course…"

"And the screwdriver thing?" Asked janet.

"Well that relies on almund being still around ‘also’ in my time. That way, she -older she - will be able to give me the probe and also some safe-ish meeting place, where fresh graduate almund can ‘accidentally’ slip back a few centuries with her new tardis, unseen. I’ll just need to find a way to hitchike to there…


	6. Going home

Well, there was no putting it off any longer. It was time for everyone to go back to their respective timelines - for now. “Madam President?” called Almund. “We’re ready now.”

 

Trey nodded, a lot more eager than she was willing to admit. “Do you want me to escort you myself? I assume you’re rather annoyed at my disappearance thanks to my duties.”

Janet would have described Milly’s reaction to the idea of hitching a tardis ride with Romana herself as “fangirling hard”.

"That would be so… awesome" answered milly.

"Is the vampire situation back home solved?" Asked janet, still a bit worried about the"nuke indiana" discussion.

"It most certainly should be." She replied. Trey wasn’t too sure of the situation herself, she’d been kept in the dark regarding the vampires. "And if it isn’t, well, I’m sure we can fix it."

"And it would be a pleasure to take you back home." Trey said after turning to Almund.

"Thank you very much." Almund said, doing a little happy dance inside. This was actually happening! Not only were they going on a ride in the President’s Capsule, Trey had said it would be a pleasure to take them back! Of course, that probably just meant that Trey wanted to personally make sure they were out of her hair so she could go back to being official (or whatever Presidents did in their spare time), but it still gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach.

Inside her mind, Milly filmed an entire movie in two seconds. She even caught herself hoping for a couple of stray vampires to be still at large, just to watch the famous Romana at work. She would have felt guilty to have such thoughts in front of a friend that went very near to becoming one’s breakfast mere hours before, if she weren’t 100% sure that said friend was indulging in her exact same thougths that very moment. Well, i'm sure we can fix it. Not only she sounded completely confident, but even a little amused, like she could enjoy the distraction.

Milly had always thought that power was all about being able to make longer and more boring speeches than the other boring and verbose old fogeys, and that it was an altogether uninteresting and annoying thing. But now she was starting to change her mind: if power felt like this, it wasn’t so bad after all. To think there were people saying president romana ought to be replaced by someone “more competent”, to the point of fantasizing about re-looming old Rassilon himself … (well that was mostly a provocative figure of speech but still…)

"Well, we’re ready when you are." she said, picking up the small black leather jacket she had borrowed from Almund and wearing it, to show she was ready to go.

Janet couldn’t repress a small shirek of joy as she got ready too, zipping up her knee high doctor marten’s.

Trey raised her eyebrows in amusement at the trio. “You certainly seem exited to be returning home. I remember feeling that way, I know that I was still on Gallifrey yet it-” Trey stopped mid-sentence. “No, ignore me. I’m sure you know what happened during the Devastation, and if you don’t…Well, you’ll certainly find out.”

She looked down at her own clothes and felt self conscious, she wore an old red dress with a wide-brimmed hat to match. It was hardly practical or presidential.

"Come now, the TARDIS bays are this way."

Almund nodded. “I can only speak for myself, but I’m rather tired. It’s been a long day.” she said, getting out of bed and following Trey to the TARDIS bays. She didn’t like the sound of the Devastation, but there wasn’t anything she could do to change the event, so there wasn’t really a reason to worry at the moment. Like Trey said, she’d find out eventually.

“The what?” asked milly, not really expecting an answer. Whatever event trey mas referring to, in her time it was either too recent to have a name or still to happen.

When almund got up, bot her and janet rushed to her side in case she needed help. They relaxed as it was soon clear that almund was back to her usual troublesome self.

Milly and the human exchanged a gleaming grin as they followed the president to the tardis bay…

"It has, hasn’t it?" Trey agreed. For her, not only had it been a long and tiring day but a strange one as well.

After a moments hesitation, Trey finally answered Milly’s question. “The Pandora Devastation, one of Gallifrey’s darkest and most unfortunate times.”

Trey nodded at Almund with a small smile. “I’m glad you’re well.”

"Uh, right… so, which one is yours?" Milly changed the subject, looking at the tidy rows of tt capsules. She could hear them all buzz quietly, not much like machines, but more like sleepy creatures waiting for an excuse to wake up and play. In a sense, the whole universe was potentially in that room. To be allowed to pilot one of those… that was enough reason to refrain from fraking up too badly before graduation. Almost enough.

Almund looked around curiously. In the way that seemed to be unique to Gallifrey, she could recognize a good part of the architecture, but some had been updated to keep up as the capsules’ technology advanced. It was quite an interesting mix. She supposed that the President’s would be the fanciest, though in the docking bay, they all looked the same.

"That one over there." She pointed at one of the TT capsules, indistinguishable from the others except one small difference. "It has the Seal of Rassilon, although it’s very faint."

Milly took one small step in that direction, then glanced apologetically at Trey and covered the remaining distance running. She stopped in front of the capsule - which was now showing her uncamouflaged basic appearence - and leaned near to the closed door. She lifted a hand to touch it, but stopped a few millimeters away. There was this thing about Tardises that had always been so fascinating to Milly. As they traveled, as they ripped their way through time and space, they seemed to gather some sort of residue, like a smell, or that aftertaste you could feel on a knife that’d been used to cut through different kinds of fruit. Or flesh. And you didn’t need an overdeveloped time sense to feel that, in several occasions, that specific one had indeed cut deep.

"Are we going to Earth first, to check on the vampire thing? Or are you going to drop me home along the way?" she asked.

Almund sighed softly at Milly’s antics. “She does that.” she said, rolling her eyes. When the rest of them had caught up with Milly, Almund looked to Trey. She was curious about their destination as well.

"It would be more logical and easier to return you home first." Trey paused. "However, it’s likely we’ll go to Earth first. I’ll send Janet back before trying to gather more information on the situation."

Trey nodded before opening the doors to her TARDIS. “I see…I imagine that gets annoying after a while.”

Janet nodded. “Thanks. I’m too pooped to pop.” “Exhausted.” Almund filled in, seeing the confused looks on everyone else’s faces. “I’m sorry, it’s likely we’ll go to Earth first? Don’t you know?” she asked, voicing a confusion of her own.

Milly stepped inside without much waiting for permission, and immediatly let out a loud, shameless “OOOOOOOOH!” as she looked around, in awe. Considering the only TARDISes she’d ever been inside were that old wreck the Stranger called Archie, and that even older museum piece that was Fix’s Mathilda, this one was… definitely something!

"Your ship is amazing" she said, a wide grin on her face.

"Well it almost purely depends on what I find most practical or fun. I should think we’ll be going to Earth to find out more about the vampires and their effect on history." Trey said with a small shrug.

"Why thank you."Trey didn’t bother talking about the love/hate relationship she had with this TARDIS. It was a Presidential TARDIS that still somehow had a penchant for breaking down or taking her to the wrong place. Along with that it was the same TARDIS that her younger self was exiled in by the older Trey, so the memories associated with this TARDIS in particular weren’t exactly pleasant.

Almund nodded. “That makes sense.” she said, going inside as well. Trey’s capsule was a lot like she had expected it to be: over-the-top fancyness with an even higher ceiling, ornate console, and plush chairs along one wall. Almund hoped one day she would have one like it.

Before entering the TARDIS, Janet had sworn to herself she would have resisted the urge say the thing, no matter what. But upon walking through the doors, her purpose was wiped away from her mind in a moment. “It can’t fit…” she said, against her own will. “There’s no way all this space can fit in here. Yes I know the theory and everything, but… it just can’t.”

"Better then fiction, isn’t it?" gloated Milly. "Plus, this ship is top notch. And so is the pilot. Which means we’ll actually get when and where we are supposed to." - She turned to the president, with a wide smile: "Ready as you are, Lady President. And thank you again for… this!"

"It makes perfect sense! You see the interior’s like another dimension inside of the TARDIS and-" Trey stopped herself before she could say anymore. "My aplogies, you don’t want to hear me babbling on about dimensional transcendentalism.”

"Of course." She said as she glided over to her console. She ran her hands over various controls before finally setting the coordinates for Earth and pulling a lever. "We’re going straight to Sol 3."

Almund smiled as they set off. Despite knowing that this would put their adventures on hold for a while, she knew it was probably for the best for now. Earth was quite nice for a backwater planet (or at least she could name several planets it was better than).

Trey was such a good driver that Almund hardly noticed the difference between when they were in flight and when they had landed. “So, are we going to look for vampires or is this It?”

Milly had spent all the (short) trip trying hard to understand what Trey was doing, and doing her best to memorize all her movements. She had the feeling she was learning more in a few minutes watching her, than she had in dozens of theoretical lessons back at the academy - and, she suspected, also more than she was going to learn as soon as she started taking practical ones. “Have we really landed? Not actually asking, i’ts just a rhetorical question. I know we have, but… wow.” Bet this would make fix stop bragging at once! she thought - being extra careful not to share this thought with anyone. Last thing they needed now was to get the two scendles involved.

"So we’re on Earth now?" asked Janet. She took out her phone from her pocket, to see if there was a signal now. First thing, she wanted to call Jacob and Rebeccah and make sure they were all right. They may have been a pain in the ass, but she certainly didn’t want them to have become someone’s lunch…

"I’ve set the coordinates to land to the closest thing to a vampire it can find within Earth’s solar system. So do not be surprised if we land in a batcave." Although it was a joke, Trey couldn’t be sure that they wouldn’t land in a batcave.

"You’ll know when we have landed, are you not familiar with the groaning sound? It may be quieter with mine but it’s still there." Trey wondered if Milly and Janet had never flown in a functioning TARDIS before now…And no, the Doctor’s didn’t count as functioning in her mind.

Almund nodded, interested. She had seen pictures of bats online, though never in person. “Well, yes, but not for quite a while. The last time I was in a Capsule, it was when I first came to Earth. I don’t think the others have, though.”

"Not frequently" confirmed Milly, not wanting to be any more specific.

When it finally came, the “groaning sound” was the faintest echo of the one the girls - two from experience and one from fiction - would have expected. There was no vibration or anything, and Milly could only tell the difference with senses Janet didn’t share.

The human checked her phone.

"Definitely Earth and most probably not a cave" announced Janet, "I’ve got three bars signal. It’s from my own phone company too, so unless Indiana is home to giant vampire bats and chupacabras… i’m afraid chances are our Pastor was either not so dead, or not alone."

Milly winced. She was about to tell Janet to phone the god squad right away to check if they were safe, but she stopped: if the vampire situation was not over, they most likely weren’t, with not safe being a merciful euphemism. More to the point, there was no way to be sure who would have answered. Still, a little fore knowledge could only help… "Lady President" - she asked, glad to have a responsible adult to look up to, for once (and no, the Stranger didn’t count) - “what do we do now?”

 

***

 

((tbc))

**Author's Note:**

> ((derived from a summer or so of rp on tumblr. the writing is more or less equally shared with tumblr users a-drunk-young-timelord , almund-joy , fixandpieces , ladyxtrey , in-the-hands-of-the-cia (listing their rp blogs) - people, if any of you has an AO3 account plz tell me so i can add you as co authors))


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